1
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DECEPTION

2
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London 1987.

3
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,450
I won't say my name,

4
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,866
but I'm 33.

5
00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:22,116
My marriage gets more disastrous
year-by-year.

6
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Yet we have an adorable 4-year-old girl.

7
00:01:26,908 --> 00:01:29,200
I met Philip
a year and a half ago.

8
00:01:30,116 --> 00:01:33,658
Philip is an American novelist
who lives in London.

9
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,700
I never understood that willful exile.

10
00:01:36,866 --> 00:01:40,783
Even though I pretend
my lover's fame doesn't impress me,

11
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I read all his books.

12
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And deep down,
I'm proud that an esteemed artist

13
00:01:45,783 --> 00:01:48,491
found me interesting enough
for secret trysts

14
00:01:48,658 --> 00:01:49,866
in the afternoon.

15
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Please.

16
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Close your eyes.

17
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I'm not going to be tied up!

18
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My dear friend,
who here ever suggested

19
00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:05,991
tying you up so early in the game?

20
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I read about it in books.

21
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So?

22
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Writers write those books.

23
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Close your eyes.

24
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All right.

25
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Let's see
if you've been paying attention.

26
00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:29,616
Now describe this room.

27
00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:35,033
To begin with,
it has two nice French windows.

28
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Looking out onto a lawn.

29
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In the room's spare style,

30
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the windows have no curtains,

31
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so that nearby houses
can see everything inside.

32
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Mostly what they see
is someone typing.

33
00:02:51,325 --> 00:02:53,325
Or they see me reading.

34
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They deserve to see something
far more interesting.

35
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There's a comfortable chair.

36
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In it, sits a woman
who should be at work.

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Listening to her lament her marriage,

38
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:09,533
is a man,

39
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sitting in a leather desk chair.

40
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His desk, about three by five,

41
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is a wood plank on a metallic pedestal.

42
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Piles of papers all over:

43
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an unfinished manuscript,
stacks of letters,

44
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and clippings about Israel
from the papers

45
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to prove to his wife that the British

46
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are all anti-Semitic.

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At a right angle to the desk
is the typewriter.

48
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It has its own special desk. Pica 72.

49
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Excellent.

50
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Behind, bookshelves.

51
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"Heine's Jewish Comedy",

52
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"Jew as Pariah" by Hannah Arendt,

53
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"White Nights", Menachem Begin,

54
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Only books about Jews,

55
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by Jews,

56
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for Jews.

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Suspended above, a paper globe,

58
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all dusty, Japanese.

59
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A radio,

60
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two chrome lamps.

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A plastic mat
for back exercises and adultery.

62
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In the bin, take-out containers.

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One sybaritic detail:

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plaster floral ornamentation
on ceiling molding.

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Wonderful.

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That all?

67
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Yes.

68
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Now close yours.

69
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Okay.

70
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Let's see how much attention
you've been paying.

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Go ahead.

72
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Now...

73
00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:49,700
describe me.

74
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Autumn.

75
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My husband's girlfriend
gave him a present.

76
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She's very pretentious.

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A very jealous and ambitious
kind of person.

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She gave him a record.

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A piece by Schubert,
very well known, very beautiful.

80
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Inspired by

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the great passion of his life,
a dazzlingly interesting woman.

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All spelled out in the liner notes.

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He could simply have said
he bought it himself.

84
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But no, he said
his girlfriend had given it to him.

85
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I was drunk one evening,
I got a pink underlining thing.

86
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I highlighted several
particularly hilarious phrases.

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"The greatest passion ever".

88
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"Marriage of minds".

89
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"Ecstasy".

90
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Then calmly and with dignity,

91
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I handed him the record cover.

92
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Was that awful of me?

93
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,075
Why were you drunk?

94
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,866
I wasn't drunk, but I drank a lot.

95
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You drink a lot at night?

96
00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:19,700
- Yeah.
- How much?

97
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A large amount.

98
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Nights when I'm alone, I drink nothing.

99
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Otherwise,
easily several doubles before dinner.

100
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And wine in between.

101
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But I never really get drunk.

102
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Just a little elevated.

103
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You lead such a bizarre life.

104
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It is bizarre.

105
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It's a mistake, but here I am.

106
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That's my life.

107
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How unhappy are you?

108
00:06:54,408 --> 00:06:55,783
It goes in periods.

109
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We have periods of ghastliness.

110
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Then long periods of quiet and love.

111
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You still sleep together?

112
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,075
I thought you'd ask that.

113
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I don't intend to answer.

114
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Good evening!

115
00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:18,700
Good evening.

116
00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:22,366
Have a nice day?

117
00:07:23,741 --> 00:07:26,908
A wretched day of writing...

118
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My poor, aggrieved hero.

119
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Oh, a kiss!

120
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Yep!

121
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- We know each other.
- Yes we do.

122
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What are you doing?

123
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Rereading my notes.

124
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Don't come to bed too late.

125
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I'll be there soon.

126
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Very impressive!

127
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What?

128
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- I love you.
- I love you.

129
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You, a ribbon in your hair.

130
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Don't like it?

131
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I do like it.

132
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Why aren't you happy with your wife?

133
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Why isn't it enough?

134
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Why isn't your husband enough?

135
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I've told you lots about him.

136
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Tell me why your wife isn't enough.

137
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You're asking the wrong question.

138
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What's the right one?

139
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I don't know.

140
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Why am I here?

141
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Because I followed temptation
where it led me.

142
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I do that now that I'm older.

143
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:36,616
Why so anxious not to hurt her?

144
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,741
Why should I want to hurt her?

145
00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:42,658
You don't seem free
to do everything.

146
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What's free? Are you free?

147
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Free-ish.

148
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Free-er than you.

149
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Nonsense!
Let's cut this conversation short.

150
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,533
Why?

151
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,825
Maybe only one adulterous partner

152
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:59,241
should complain
about domestic dissatisfactions.

153
00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:02,616
Making your dissatisfaction
out of bounds.

154
00:09:02,950 --> 00:09:06,908
Except your dissatisfactions
with England and Englishness.

155
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:10,241
Can't it be
that domestic dissatisfactions

156
00:09:10,408 --> 00:09:13,991
have nothing to do
with my falling in love with you?

157
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,283
Besides cultural displacement.

158
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,450
I owe this to cultural displacement?

159
00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:20,700
Maybe.

160
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,575
So our story is a cultural one?

161
00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:25,991
A genre I always find interesting.

162
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,950
Gentile women.

163
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:30,241
You're in love with anthropology.

164
00:09:30,408 --> 00:09:33,283
There are worse ways
to address anthropological differences.

165
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:37,200
The old standbys:
hatred, xenophobia,

166
00:09:37,366 --> 00:09:39,116
violence, murder.

167
00:09:39,283 --> 00:09:41,783
Yes, my dear, you're...

168
00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:46,200
you're the Albert Schweitzer
of cross-cultural fucking.

169
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,158
Malinowski is fine, he'll do.

170
00:09:56,408 --> 00:09:57,616
What's wrong?

171
00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,075
Answer me.

172
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,158
I can tell something's wrong.

173
00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:04,033
A nanny,

174
00:10:04,283 --> 00:10:07,075
a child, two squabbling housekeepers.

175
00:10:07,991 --> 00:10:10,658
And the usual English damp.

176
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I don't think
we can continue our liaison.

177
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,366
The days are too short.

178
00:10:18,658 --> 00:10:19,866
Really?

179
00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:22,825
That's too bad.

180
00:10:23,783 --> 00:10:24,950
You don't agree?

181
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:29,116
Didn't our last conversation
take that turn?

182
00:10:30,616 --> 00:10:31,950
Oh, I see.

183
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,950
Whatever you want.

184
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:35,783
I think it's best.

185
00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:37,991
You said it's driving you nuts.

186
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:39,866
What's driving me nuts?

187
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,241
All these sexual matters.

188
00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:48,158
You said you weren't keen
on just a romantic friendship.

189
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:51,616
I'll simplify it for you,
if you want it simple.

190
00:10:54,783 --> 00:10:57,575
Why the silence?
I hate you when you're silent.

191
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,450
I'm here.

192
00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:10,158
Get my letter?

193
00:11:10,616 --> 00:11:13,658
Yes, I got it.
That letter is... wonderful.

194
00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:16,158
I tore it up.

195
00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:18,158
Obviously, of course.

196
00:11:18,491 --> 00:11:21,366
- It seemed the best thing to do.
- Indeed.

197
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,075
Very strange to see you.

198
00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:27,700
Stranger not to, right?

199
00:11:27,866 --> 00:11:28,950
That I don't know.

200
00:11:29,491 --> 00:11:31,408
You disappeared for a while.

201
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,033
You've changed too.

202
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:37,700
You do look a bit different.

203
00:11:37,866 --> 00:11:40,783
- What happened to you?
- I look that different?

204
00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:42,991
Taller?

205
00:11:43,366 --> 00:11:44,366
Shorter?

206
00:11:45,158 --> 00:11:47,075
- Pudgier.
- I don't know.

207
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,741
It's very subtle.

208
00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:52,075
Something subtle?

209
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:53,241
Yeah.

210
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:55,575
I've missed you.

211
00:12:00,491 --> 00:12:01,575
I'm freezing.

212
00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:05,658
I behaved very stupidly with my husband.

213
00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:09,700
He's had to put up with me
terribly lonely

214
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:11,533
and depressed for years.

215
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:17,491
I didn't have affairs.
I thought he was vulnerable.

216
00:12:17,866 --> 00:12:20,950
Your husband
doesn't sound that vulnerable.

217
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,950
Why not tell him:
"If you don't give her up,

218
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:25,908
I'll sleep in the other room?

219
00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:29,323
You're free.
Either you fuck her or you fuck me.

220
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:30,391
Take your pick."

221
00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:33,283
She's an important part of his life.

222
00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:35,658
It would be selfish on my behalf.

223
00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,491
Selfish on your part?

224
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,866
You think you that, then marry me.

225
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:43,075
It's lovely to hear a woman say:

226
00:12:43,491 --> 00:12:45,908
"It would be selfish to ask my husband

227
00:12:46,075 --> 00:12:47,783
to give up his girlfriend."

228
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:50,241
I think it would be though.

229
00:12:50,866 --> 00:12:52,741
It's easier when I don't see you.

230
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,075
We get distracted, we forget.

231
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:59,158
None of this terrible comparing.

232
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,408
I wanted to explain
what's going on in my head.

233
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:06,491
But...

234
00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,033
I feel like I'm abusing.

235
00:13:09,325 --> 00:13:10,575
Let's talk about it.

236
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,533
I like to know what's in your head.

237
00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:17,408
I'm very fond of your head.

238
00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:20,283
I had my mother for the weekend.

239
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,783
And he just disappeared.

240
00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:28,075
Lunch tomorrow with my mother-in-law,
who's so hellishly unpleasant.

241
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,283
You know what a cervix is?

242
00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:32,825
I think so.

243
00:13:33,366 --> 00:13:35,741
Well, I've got a lump on mine.

244
00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,408
I must do a test or something.

245
00:13:40,408 --> 00:13:43,241
My husband says I've ruined his sex life.

246
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,616
I so don't enjoy sex with him.

247
00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:50,283
It's always...

248
00:13:51,658 --> 00:13:53,325
hard and lonely.

249
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,283
That's the way it is.

250
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,450
It's life, isn't it?

251
00:13:58,616 --> 00:14:02,991
Why not do your husband a favor
and try to come?

252
00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:06,575
I don't want to.

253
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,450
It's better than arguing.

254
00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,491
I get so angry with him.

255
00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:15,325
Don't get angry.

256
00:14:15,491 --> 00:14:17,408
Your husband's fucking you.

257
00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:18,575
Let him.

258
00:14:19,241 --> 00:14:21,366
It's not under my conscious control.

259
00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:25,033
Just be a whore for half an hour.
It won't kill you!

260
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:27,116
Whores don't come.

261
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,283
Play the whore!

262
00:14:30,908 --> 00:14:33,616
Don't be so serious about everything.

263
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,366
He's...

264
00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:40,950
the type who thinks
women must have multiple orgasms,

265
00:14:41,491 --> 00:14:43,033
that we must come together.

266
00:14:44,158 --> 00:14:46,116
Normal for young people, isn't it?

267
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:51,158
Once you acquire some history,
resentments,

268
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:55,991
how can you explain
losing interest in someone sexually?

269
00:14:57,366 --> 00:14:59,200
Why not ask why it snows?

270
00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:01,575
Not a reason for leaving him?

271
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:14,532
You know,

272
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:16,950
when I met you, you were ripe.

273
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:19,616
Ripe for the picking.

274
00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:22,866
No, I was...

275
00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,991
on the ground, rotting under the tree.

276
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:42,533
On the ground, rotting under the tree.

277
00:15:58,533 --> 00:16:01,200
Is your husband
safely in a hospital room?

278
00:16:02,866 --> 00:16:04,616
Think the tootsie's there too?

279
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,741
"Tootsie" is such a wonderful word.

280
00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:10,658
Yes, I thought you might like it.

281
00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,700
I gave him unduly bad press.

282
00:16:13,866 --> 00:16:15,283
He has many qualities.

283
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,700
But the truth of the matter is...

284
00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,991
I haven't slept so well in ages.

285
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:24,658
I woke up this morning
feeling absolutely normal.

286
00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,158
He comes back tomorrow.

287
00:16:44,491 --> 00:16:46,033
You're shaking. You ill?

288
00:16:46,325 --> 00:16:47,908
I'm terribly excited.

289
00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:04,658
What?

290
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,241
"And you give me

291
00:17:15,616 --> 00:17:17,783
the pleasure of your eyes,

292
00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:20,200
of your face,

293
00:17:21,658 --> 00:17:23,158
of your flesh."

294
00:17:28,116 --> 00:17:30,658
Maybe because it was Valentine's Day,

295
00:17:31,658 --> 00:17:34,491
I woke up in the middle of the night

296
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,991
with a terrific sensation.

297
00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:42,575
It felt like your hand was on my cock.

298
00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:45,366
It was no one's.

299
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:46,950
It was a dream.

300
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:50,616
How did I end up
being so hooked on you?

301
00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:54,158
It's that you spend all day
in this room.

302
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,950
You have no new experiences here.

303
00:17:57,241 --> 00:17:58,866
No adventures.

304
00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:02,866
I have you.

305
00:18:10,908 --> 00:18:12,866
How long has it been now?

306
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,408
A year and a half.

307
00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:21,991
I know nothing about you.

308
00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,575
Sure, I do know a bit.

309
00:18:25,825 --> 00:18:28,825
From reading your books.
But not a lot.

310
00:18:31,116 --> 00:18:34,825
We may as well be holed up
in the Frank family's attic.

311
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:36,491
Yes.

312
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,366
Our lot in life.

313
00:18:42,783 --> 00:18:43,991
What are you thinking?

314
00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:48,325
I feel so urgently
the need for solitude.

315
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,033
You look so damned tired.

316
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,283
What can I do?

317
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:03,241
I dunno, run away!

318
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:04,783
Excuse me.

319
00:19:09,908 --> 00:19:11,991
Know what I'm doing on Tuesday?

320
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200
No.

321
00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:14,866
I'm seeing a solicitor.

322
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,116
About getting a divorce?

323
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,908
Just to find out what's up.

324
00:19:22,408 --> 00:19:24,908
I'll get to your place
in a heightened state.

325
00:19:26,033 --> 00:19:27,115
I'm off.

326
00:19:27,116 --> 00:19:29,158
It should be interesting.

327
00:19:38,162 --> 00:19:40,246
When I lived in the country,

328
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,246
before spending time in the city,

329
00:19:42,996 --> 00:19:44,579
I was so simple.

330
00:19:44,996 --> 00:19:47,121
If you struggle a lot, that dies.

331
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:49,412
I used to be a lot of fun.

332
00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,996
I enjoy you now.

333
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,621
What if he asks
how you got the bruise?

334
00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:01,079
He already has.

335
00:20:01,849 --> 00:20:02,870
And?

336
00:20:02,871 --> 00:20:04,121
I told the truth.

337
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,954
I always do.
That way, you never get caught.

338
00:20:07,412 --> 00:20:08,704
What did you say?

339
00:20:08,912 --> 00:20:12,454
I said: "I got this bruise

340
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,329
in a torrid embrace

341
00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:17,246
with an unemployed writer

342
00:20:17,496 --> 00:20:18,704
in a flat,

343
00:20:18,871 --> 00:20:20,996
a walk-up, in Notting Hill."

344
00:20:21,162 --> 00:20:22,371
And?

345
00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:24,746
It sounds silly and everyone laughs.

346
00:20:24,912 --> 00:20:27,246
And you maintain the illusion
of honesty.

347
00:20:27,496 --> 00:20:28,621
Absolutely.

348
00:20:43,662 --> 00:20:45,954
I was a little Czech girl.

349
00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:50,412
I went to your hotel.

350
00:20:52,204 --> 00:20:54,287
You asked me up to your room

351
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,037
to help you carry some books.

352
00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:02,246
It was 10 o'clock in the morning.

353
00:21:03,412 --> 00:21:06,037
And they were very rude with me.

354
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,412
They treated me like a whore.

355
00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:11,704
And you, you made a scene!

356
00:21:14,162 --> 00:21:15,579
You were kind.

357
00:21:18,162 --> 00:21:21,246
Then I took you across the Charles Bridge

358
00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:25,121
and you taught me
tons of colloquial words.

359
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,871
We had dinner at your hotel.

360
00:21:31,621 --> 00:21:33,954
You didn't care particularly about me.

361
00:21:35,329 --> 00:21:38,579
I was about 21, 22.

362
00:21:40,412 --> 00:21:42,412
I'm much older now.

363
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:49,412
What's that park at the top of Prague
where we sat?

364
00:21:50,954 --> 00:21:53,912
We didn't go there.
That was someone else.

365
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,579
No, no one else.

366
00:21:55,746 --> 00:21:58,162
I particularly did care for you.

367
00:22:00,912 --> 00:22:05,246
You once telephoned me
to invite me to an orgy, remember?

368
00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:07,037
You did!

369
00:22:07,954 --> 00:22:09,746
I wasn't brave enough to go.

370
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,204
You didn't miss a thing.
Very boring.

371
00:22:12,412 --> 00:22:14,121
You were always tailed.

372
00:22:14,287 --> 00:22:16,787
When we sat in a restaurant,

373
00:22:17,204 --> 00:22:21,537
that guy from the police
always sat next to us.

374
00:22:22,371 --> 00:22:24,037
We found it unbearable.

375
00:22:24,246 --> 00:22:25,746
It was unbearable.

376
00:22:26,871 --> 00:22:29,412
I worked at the American library.

377
00:22:30,996 --> 00:22:33,371
My professor got me the job.

378
00:22:34,246 --> 00:22:36,829
He said it would be great for us all

379
00:22:36,996 --> 00:22:39,537
because we could get books...

380
00:22:40,037 --> 00:22:41,329
Books.

381
00:22:43,287 --> 00:22:45,537
And it was a fantastic job.

382
00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:48,287
But in the end it became difficult.

383
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:53,996
I had to decide

384
00:22:54,162 --> 00:22:56,996
to work for the Secret Service
or to leave.

385
00:22:57,287 --> 00:23:00,537
You're in London now.
You can talk. Talk!

386
00:23:02,162 --> 00:23:03,746
I'll tell you.

387
00:23:05,412 --> 00:23:06,537
They told me...

388
00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:10,204
We know that you like your job,

389
00:23:10,371 --> 00:23:12,287
that you make lot of money.

390
00:23:13,954 --> 00:23:16,454
They gave me a paper to sign.

391
00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:20,121
The discussion we'd be having
was a state secret.

392
00:23:20,954 --> 00:23:23,204
If I spoke to anyone,

393
00:23:23,371 --> 00:23:24,954
including my own family,

394
00:23:25,287 --> 00:23:26,871
I would be prosecuted

395
00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:29,662
and imprisoned for seven years.

396
00:23:30,246 --> 00:23:31,871
Sentenced for what?

397
00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,829
I risked prison anyway.

398
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:37,162
I was so scared,
I told all my friends.

399
00:23:37,787 --> 00:23:39,037
So I said:

400
00:23:39,454 --> 00:23:42,204
"Why sign something
I know nothing about?"

401
00:23:42,371 --> 00:23:44,246
Sign it! Stop asking questions!

402
00:23:44,412 --> 00:23:47,037
I can't sign anything
I don't know about!

403
00:23:47,204 --> 00:23:49,079
Your work, friends, country...

404
00:23:49,329 --> 00:23:51,454
it's all over, you understand?

405
00:23:54,121 --> 00:23:56,787
"No, I'll tell you straightaway,
I can't,

406
00:23:56,954 --> 00:23:58,496
I can't do it."

407
00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:02,204
So they said:
"You'll have to find another job.

408
00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:04,704
There's no future for you here."

409
00:24:05,621 --> 00:24:07,579
They didn't fire me immediately.

410
00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:11,912
I went back to work.
I didn't tell anyone.

411
00:24:12,412 --> 00:24:14,246
Then the nightmare began.

412
00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:17,412
The Americans did the same thing.

413
00:24:18,037 --> 00:24:19,996
Said they were interested in me,

414
00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,621
that I should spy for them.

415
00:24:27,454 --> 00:24:28,829
Jana!

416
00:24:35,871 --> 00:24:38,496
Same thing,
I refused the Americans too.

417
00:24:39,329 --> 00:24:42,121
By that time, my situation had become

418
00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:44,162
absolutely awful.

419
00:24:46,371 --> 00:24:49,954
They were both interested
because I speak the languages.

420
00:24:50,662 --> 00:24:52,662
I'm quite good at translating.

421
00:24:53,746 --> 00:24:55,371
I always enjoyed literature.

422
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,037
I know.

423
00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:58,662
I translated stories

424
00:24:58,829 --> 00:25:00,287
for Czech papers.

425
00:25:02,246 --> 00:25:06,246
At the library, I'd become so isolated
I had to quit.

426
00:25:07,787 --> 00:25:09,912
I left soon after.

427
00:25:11,912 --> 00:25:15,412
That's why I married
that stupid Englishman

428
00:25:15,579 --> 00:25:18,079
who at least knew he wanted me.

429
00:25:19,579 --> 00:25:20,912
1978.

430
00:25:21,079 --> 00:25:23,537
You married to get out.
No shame.

431
00:25:29,371 --> 00:25:31,037
To leave the country,

432
00:25:31,204 --> 00:25:34,537
you need lots of papers,
it takes forever.

433
00:25:35,162 --> 00:25:38,162
When I left Czechoslovakia,
I no longer loved him.

434
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:41,579
When I got to England,

435
00:25:41,954 --> 00:25:43,954
I just couldn't cope.

436
00:25:46,787 --> 00:25:50,912
At first he was so upset
to see me crying.

437
00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:53,787
I felt miserable

438
00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:56,079
and I missed all my friends.

439
00:25:57,496 --> 00:26:00,079
I did every odd job.

440
00:26:02,537 --> 00:26:05,329
And on the third day,
I'd be thrown out

441
00:26:05,496 --> 00:26:07,787
because I talked back.

442
00:26:08,371 --> 00:26:10,621
I was still a Czech.

443
00:26:11,912 --> 00:26:14,037
Your life story is more interesting.

444
00:26:14,204 --> 00:26:15,746
Not at all. Go on.

445
00:26:16,829 --> 00:26:19,927
The English husband... how did it end?

446
00:26:19,928 --> 00:26:20,996
Badly.

447
00:26:23,246 --> 00:26:25,079
I hated Czechoslovakia

448
00:26:25,246 --> 00:26:27,329
because it had very set rules.

449
00:26:27,496 --> 00:26:29,287
You couldn't breathe.

450
00:26:29,954 --> 00:26:32,162
But I don't like England,

451
00:26:33,829 --> 00:26:35,954
because it has another set of rules.

452
00:26:36,121 --> 00:26:39,371
Of little houses and vegetable gardens,

453
00:26:39,537 --> 00:26:42,912
and all their life
is to get something like that.

454
00:26:43,912 --> 00:26:45,871
I can't be like that.

455
00:26:48,621 --> 00:26:50,704
Because I'm educated.

456
00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:57,371
I have no place here.

457
00:26:59,871 --> 00:27:01,246
None at all.

458
00:27:31,829 --> 00:27:33,371
Hello. It's me.

459
00:27:36,371 --> 00:27:37,954
Oh, it's you.

460
00:27:38,746 --> 00:27:39,954
How are you?

461
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:44,996
- I'm fine.- What do you know?

462
00:27:45,162 --> 00:27:46,371
Anything new?

463
00:27:46,537 --> 00:27:47,537
No.

464
00:27:48,537 --> 00:27:51,079
I have to do a tomography this morning.

465
00:27:51,912 --> 00:27:53,746
It's quite a heavy day.

466
00:27:54,055 --> 00:27:55,079
I see.

467
00:27:55,579 --> 00:27:57,537
The tomography will tell you what?

468
00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,371
How long I have.

469
00:28:03,162 --> 00:28:04,204
No.

470
00:28:05,412 --> 00:28:09,037
If the tomography shows tumors,
it's bad news.

471
00:28:09,204 --> 00:28:11,537
It means the drugs aren't working.

472
00:28:11,829 --> 00:28:15,329
And if it shows nothing,
I still need surgery

473
00:28:15,496 --> 00:28:16,787
to see what's going on.

474
00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:18,662
Results are on Monday.

475
00:28:19,329 --> 00:28:22,121
So this is a big weekend.

476
00:28:22,371 --> 00:28:23,496
Yes.

477
00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:24,829
Pretty big.

478
00:28:27,704 --> 00:28:29,704
Are you able to write anything?

479
00:28:32,579 --> 00:28:34,496
The narratives crumble.

480
00:28:38,621 --> 00:28:40,746
No, I've been doing yoga.

481
00:28:41,412 --> 00:28:43,621
I eat macrobiotic.

482
00:28:45,162 --> 00:28:46,287
Macrobiotic...

483
00:28:46,454 --> 00:28:49,996
I'm just trying to live
with what joy there is.

484
00:28:50,287 --> 00:28:53,121
- How's your support system?
- Great!

485
00:28:54,871 --> 00:28:59,037
Even my father phoned
from wherever the hell he lives now.

486
00:29:00,037 --> 00:29:01,704
So it's not so great.

487
00:29:02,079 --> 00:29:05,579
It is! A call from my father
makes cancer worth it.

488
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,079
No, they're great.

489
00:29:11,412 --> 00:29:13,287
All my ex-men are wonderful.

490
00:29:13,621 --> 00:29:14,912
Very nice.

491
00:29:15,079 --> 00:29:16,537
Very attentive.

492
00:29:17,996 --> 00:29:20,246
Never coming back to America?

493
00:29:20,912 --> 00:29:23,662
New York next month.
I'll see you the day I get in.

494
00:29:26,287 --> 00:29:27,371
Nice!

495
00:29:28,954 --> 00:29:30,204
What's up over there?

496
00:29:30,829 --> 00:29:32,662
What's London life like?

497
00:29:32,829 --> 00:29:35,287
Not very different from 81st Street.

498
00:29:35,496 --> 00:29:36,746
Put it here.

499
00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:38,871
Thank you.

500
00:29:39,829 --> 00:29:40,871
Still writing?

501
00:29:41,037 --> 00:29:42,037
Yes.

502
00:29:42,412 --> 00:29:45,079
I thought you'd give that up
with any luck.

503
00:29:45,496 --> 00:29:48,329
No. With my typewriter in my room.

504
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:51,871
And in the evening,
cultural events, social events.

505
00:29:52,037 --> 00:29:53,412
Very insipid, very English.

506
00:29:53,746 --> 00:29:56,037
Social events
are called dinner parties.

507
00:29:56,287 --> 00:29:57,329
Yes.

508
00:29:57,704 --> 00:30:01,246
Trouble is,
I get seated by other men's wives.

509
00:30:01,621 --> 00:30:02,829
Of course.

510
00:30:03,662 --> 00:30:05,537
You know about other men's wives?

511
00:30:05,746 --> 00:30:07,121
They're boring.

512
00:30:07,287 --> 00:30:08,287
Very.

513
00:30:08,621 --> 00:30:11,329
Unlike you
when you were another man's wife.

514
00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:14,204
Where's my book?

515
00:30:14,621 --> 00:30:15,704
What book?

516
00:30:15,871 --> 00:30:17,621
The book with me in it.

517
00:30:18,246 --> 00:30:20,454
I like that one!

518
00:30:21,496 --> 00:30:24,829
So do something interesting
I can stick in there!

519
00:30:26,287 --> 00:30:27,371
Me?

520
00:30:27,579 --> 00:30:29,454
I may be dying.

521
00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,371
You don't know that.

522
00:30:33,162 --> 00:30:34,537
I'll know Monday.

523
00:30:35,454 --> 00:30:37,787
I'll call Monday for your results.

524
00:30:38,162 --> 00:30:42,389
Now I'm going to stop
before I utter more platitudes.

525
00:30:42,390 --> 00:30:43,390
Yes!

526
00:30:43,662 --> 00:30:45,746
When I hear platitudes,

527
00:30:46,371 --> 00:30:47,704
I prick up my ears!

528
00:30:48,162 --> 00:30:49,162
Indeed!

529
00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:50,299
Bye.

530
00:30:52,079 --> 00:30:53,329
Have a good day.

531
00:30:53,912 --> 00:30:55,079
Goodbye.

532
00:31:02,162 --> 00:31:05,496
Winter.

533
00:32:03,662 --> 00:32:04,662
Wait...

534
00:32:12,704 --> 00:32:14,246
I'll write them down.

535
00:32:14,621 --> 00:32:15,746
You begin.

536
00:32:15,954 --> 00:32:17,496
What's it called?

537
00:32:18,079 --> 00:32:20,621
I don't know. What do we call it?

538
00:32:21,079 --> 00:32:24,537
"Questionnaire
about dreaming of fleeing together".

539
00:32:24,704 --> 00:32:26,371
Nice. "Questionnaire...

540
00:32:26,537 --> 00:32:28,996
"about lovers...

541
00:32:29,412 --> 00:32:31,746
lovers dreaming of fleeing together".

542
00:32:31,912 --> 00:32:34,746
"Questionnaire about lovers dreaming...

543
00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:37,621
middle-aged lovers -
fleeing together.

544
00:32:38,162 --> 00:32:40,121
- You're not middle-aged!
- I am!

545
00:32:40,287 --> 00:32:42,371
You seem young to me!

546
00:32:42,537 --> 00:32:44,829
Add that to the questionnaire.

547
00:32:50,579 --> 00:32:53,496
"Questionnaire about lovers
dreaming of fleeing together."

548
00:32:54,162 --> 00:32:56,037
"Fleeing together."

549
00:32:56,662 --> 00:32:57,954
You begin.

550
00:32:59,371 --> 00:33:02,662
First thing about me
that would get on your nerves?

551
00:33:03,662 --> 00:33:05,412
Are you a charming extrovert

552
00:33:05,829 --> 00:33:07,746
or a neurotic recluse?

553
00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:09,912
How long...

554
00:33:10,787 --> 00:33:14,246
before you're attracted to another woman?

555
00:33:14,579 --> 00:33:16,287
Or you by a man?

556
00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:18,954
You mustn't get older.

557
00:33:20,579 --> 00:33:22,329
You think the same about me?

558
00:33:22,496 --> 00:33:24,037
How many men do you need?

559
00:33:25,412 --> 00:33:28,079
Are you entirely heterosexual?

560
00:33:33,496 --> 00:33:34,996
Do you have an idea

561
00:33:35,162 --> 00:33:37,412
of what interests you in me?
Be precise.

562
00:33:40,537 --> 00:33:41,954
Have you...

563
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:43,787
ever lied to me?

564
00:33:43,954 --> 00:33:45,537
Do you tell lies?

565
00:33:46,287 --> 00:33:47,912
Are you against lying?

566
00:33:52,079 --> 00:33:55,787
Do you think that being generous-minded

567
00:33:56,162 --> 00:33:57,787
is a sign of weakness?

568
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:00,912
Do you care about being weak?

569
00:34:01,246 --> 00:34:03,246
And you, about being strong?

570
00:34:06,121 --> 00:34:08,954
How much money will you let me spend?

571
00:34:09,121 --> 00:34:12,496
Would you let me have any power
over your money?

572
00:34:15,162 --> 00:34:17,329
How am I already a disappointment?

573
00:34:19,496 --> 00:34:20,871
Are you going to die?

574
00:34:21,996 --> 00:34:25,329
Are you physically and mentally sound?

575
00:34:29,829 --> 00:34:32,287
What are your real feelings about Jews?

576
00:34:33,871 --> 00:34:37,787
How inept would you be
if my husband discovered us?

577
00:34:38,954 --> 00:34:40,496
If he came in now?

578
00:34:44,746 --> 00:34:45,746
Wait.

579
00:34:48,787 --> 00:34:50,954
Seventeen. Any more?

580
00:34:52,121 --> 00:34:53,371
I can't think of any.

581
00:34:53,537 --> 00:34:56,496
- I look forward to your answers.
- And I to yours.

582
00:34:59,496 --> 00:35:00,787
I do have one more.

583
00:35:01,204 --> 00:35:02,204
Yes?

584
00:35:02,371 --> 00:35:04,662
Do you like how I dress?

585
00:35:06,912 --> 00:35:08,704
That's straining.

586
00:35:10,329 --> 00:35:11,329
Bastard!

587
00:35:12,204 --> 00:35:14,037
Not at all straining.

588
00:35:16,079 --> 00:35:19,621
The more trivial the defect,
the more anger it inspires.

589
00:35:24,162 --> 00:35:25,371
One last question?

590
00:35:25,662 --> 00:35:26,912
I have it!

591
00:35:27,079 --> 00:35:28,412
The last question.

592
00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,537
Do you in any way,

593
00:35:33,037 --> 00:35:36,871
in the corner of your heart,
still harbor the illusion

594
00:35:37,996 --> 00:35:39,037
that marriage

595
00:35:39,996 --> 00:35:41,829
is a love affair?

596
00:35:42,162 --> 00:35:45,037
If so, it can cause many problems.

597
00:35:46,829 --> 00:35:49,579
I hated being pregnant.
It drove me crazy.

598
00:35:51,162 --> 00:35:54,037
I made a fuss
about potential birth defects

599
00:35:54,204 --> 00:35:56,454
that went undetected before delivery.

600
00:35:57,037 --> 00:35:58,287
I asked the doctors:

601
00:35:58,454 --> 00:36:02,121
"What if there's something
seriously wrong with the baby?"

602
00:36:02,537 --> 00:36:06,912
I was upset about a story on the news
just before I was due.

603
00:36:08,287 --> 00:36:10,662
About a woman with a handicapped child.

604
00:36:11,829 --> 00:36:15,204
She stopped feeding it, to kill it.

605
00:36:15,621 --> 00:36:17,454
The baby was adopted.

606
00:36:17,954 --> 00:36:20,121
Creeps get off
on others' misfortunes.

607
00:36:20,287 --> 00:36:21,621
You're not one?

608
00:36:21,871 --> 00:36:25,287
Are you?
You don't even want a healthy kid.

609
00:36:29,746 --> 00:36:32,871
One day, a doctor I saw
told me in secret

610
00:36:33,037 --> 00:36:36,912
you can suffocate a baby
with surgical swabs.

611
00:36:38,037 --> 00:36:40,871
I replied
there must be a less cruel way

612
00:36:41,037 --> 00:36:42,662
to get rid of a child.

613
00:36:43,329 --> 00:36:44,871
It worried me so.

614
00:36:49,164 --> 00:36:50,246
In England,

615
00:36:50,412 --> 00:36:53,787
if a woman commits a crime
within 6 weeks of childbirth,

616
00:36:53,954 --> 00:36:55,579
she won't go to court.

617
00:36:56,121 --> 00:36:57,287
I read this.

618
00:36:58,746 --> 00:37:02,121
Our law has a clause stipulating that...

619
00:37:02,412 --> 00:37:05,287
during that time
women aren't sound of mind.

620
00:37:06,787 --> 00:37:09,621
You can kill your kid
and get away with it!

621
00:37:11,037 --> 00:37:13,662
You'd have to be careful, but yes.

622
00:37:18,746 --> 00:37:20,204
Honestly...

623
00:37:23,662 --> 00:37:25,246
has the thought

624
00:37:25,787 --> 00:37:27,954
ever crossed your mind

625
00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:30,204
about jumping out a window?

626
00:37:33,287 --> 00:37:34,370
Yes.

627
00:37:34,371 --> 00:37:35,454
A lot?

628
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:37,287
Sometimes.

629
00:37:38,704 --> 00:37:40,329
What stopped you?

630
00:37:42,621 --> 00:37:45,662
It isn't that I want to die,

631
00:37:47,037 --> 00:37:48,537
it's that I want to live.

632
00:37:50,787 --> 00:37:52,496
I want life to be better.

633
00:37:53,412 --> 00:37:56,246
So better to stay in it a bit longer.

634
00:38:10,632 --> 00:38:12,048
You're not saying much.

635
00:38:12,798 --> 00:38:13,798
I'm listening.

636
00:38:14,340 --> 00:38:16,048
I'm an écouteur.

637
00:38:16,215 --> 00:38:18,382
I'm an audiophiliac.

638
00:38:18,548 --> 00:38:21,382
I'm a talk fetishist!

639
00:38:23,215 --> 00:38:24,340
Very erotic.

640
00:38:25,423 --> 00:38:28,382
You just sitting there, listening.

641
00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:37,632
A new belt!

642
00:39:13,798 --> 00:39:17,340
Very cozy with you on a snowy day.

643
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:20,715
Lying like this,
the snow going round.

644
00:39:22,215 --> 00:39:23,882
Quite wonderful.

645
00:39:42,048 --> 00:39:43,257
Feel all right?

646
00:39:46,382 --> 00:39:47,548
Sweet...

647
00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:49,507
girl.

648
00:39:51,215 --> 00:39:52,673
What are you thinking?

649
00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:54,298
No thoughts.

650
00:39:56,090 --> 00:39:57,507
Is that nice?

651
00:39:59,215 --> 00:40:00,465
It's sublime.

652
00:40:02,507 --> 00:40:03,507
Sublime...

653
00:40:13,298 --> 00:40:14,965
Which do you prefer?

654
00:40:15,590 --> 00:40:17,382
I can't answer that question.

655
00:40:18,007 --> 00:40:20,840
But I want to know. Which do you prefer?

656
00:40:21,006 --> 00:40:22,048
For fondling?

657
00:40:23,090 --> 00:40:26,090
The uncircumcised.

658
00:40:28,132 --> 00:40:30,923
It's interesting to move the sheath
over the head.

659
00:40:32,470 --> 00:40:33,470
Yes.

660
00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:35,507
And for fucking?

661
00:40:36,257 --> 00:40:39,590
Don't ask this of
a nicely brought-up English female.

662
00:40:39,923 --> 00:40:40,965
For fucking?

663
00:40:41,465 --> 00:40:42,757
For fucking...

664
00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:44,507
the circumcised.

665
00:40:49,007 --> 00:40:50,131
Why?

666
00:40:50,132 --> 00:40:51,840
It's like having it naked.

667
00:40:53,423 --> 00:40:54,965
The naked penis.

668
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,465
The naked penis.

669
00:40:58,882 --> 00:41:00,882
Naked penis.

670
00:41:01,340 --> 00:41:04,215
Why does everyone hate Israel so much?

671
00:41:04,382 --> 00:41:05,882
Can you explain it to me?

672
00:41:06,132 --> 00:41:07,715
I think I'd be able to.

673
00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:08,882
Really?

674
00:41:09,465 --> 00:41:12,132
I have an argument
every time I go out.

675
00:41:12,298 --> 00:41:15,215
And I come home in a fury
and can't sleep.

676
00:41:16,548 --> 00:41:19,215
I'm allied with the planet's
two greatest scourges:

677
00:41:19,465 --> 00:41:20,632
you and you.

678
00:41:20,798 --> 00:41:22,465
Israel and America.

679
00:41:22,632 --> 00:41:25,132
Let's grant
that Israel's a terrible country...

680
00:41:25,298 --> 00:41:27,965
But I won't, I won't!

681
00:41:28,132 --> 00:41:30,507
But let's grant it. All right?

682
00:41:31,423 --> 00:41:34,590
Still, there are many countries
far more terrible.

683
00:41:35,007 --> 00:41:37,382
I've never understood it myself.

684
00:41:37,548 --> 00:41:41,923
It's one of the most curious freaks
in modern history.

685
00:41:42,090 --> 00:41:43,298
But why?

686
00:41:43,548 --> 00:41:44,548
Tell me.

687
00:41:45,257 --> 00:41:47,798
- Do you ever ask people?
- Yes, often.

688
00:41:47,965 --> 00:41:49,507
And what do they say?

689
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:53,423
How they treat Arabs is
the greatest crime in human history?

690
00:41:53,590 --> 00:41:55,298
Sure, that's what they say!

691
00:41:55,465 --> 00:41:58,632
One of the most extraordinary
pieces of hypocrisy

692
00:41:58,798 --> 00:42:01,340
in the history of humanity!

693
00:42:06,048 --> 00:42:09,382
The Czech director.

694
00:42:09,715 --> 00:42:11,798
Olina meets me at the airport.

695
00:42:11,965 --> 00:42:14,798
I bring her a Laura Ashley dress.
Perfume.

696
00:42:15,007 --> 00:42:17,923
She kisses me.
There's dinner waiting.

697
00:42:18,215 --> 00:42:19,590
Then the door opens.

698
00:42:19,757 --> 00:42:23,382
A six-foot Black man.
Shoes for 200 dollars.

699
00:42:23,757 --> 00:42:25,465
Gold necklace, gold ring.

700
00:42:26,298 --> 00:42:28,007
"This is Andrew.

701
00:42:28,382 --> 00:42:30,548
Can he live in the spare room?"

702
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:34,465
"There's no future for all of us here."

703
00:42:34,632 --> 00:42:36,715
Her: "Can he stay for dinner?"

704
00:42:36,965 --> 00:42:39,840
It's my first night back, but okay.

705
00:42:40,215 --> 00:42:44,298
You can't tell a Black man:
"No you can't stay for dinner."

706
00:42:46,590 --> 00:42:50,215
The next morning,
my Olinka tells me:

707
00:42:50,382 --> 00:42:52,507
"I love him.
I want to marry him."

708
00:42:52,673 --> 00:42:55,715
I was close to buying a hunting rifle.

709
00:42:55,882 --> 00:42:58,715
Not a shotgun, a fucking hunting rifle.

710
00:42:59,215 --> 00:43:00,548
I had a heart attack.

711
00:43:01,298 --> 00:43:03,423
Terrible chest pains.

712
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:07,590
A week in the hospital,
it cost me a fortune.

713
00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:12,340
My lawyer laughs:
"You and your wife got a joint account!"

714
00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:13,798
You couldn't have?

715
00:43:13,965 --> 00:43:15,215
I trusted her!

716
00:43:15,632 --> 00:43:17,548
She was a little Czech girl!

717
00:43:17,715 --> 00:43:18,965
Look at her.

718
00:43:19,715 --> 00:43:21,965
Not an American bitch!

719
00:43:22,715 --> 00:43:24,465
Ivan, I'm American...

720
00:43:24,632 --> 00:43:27,007
This girl, a Catholic, was a virgin!

721
00:43:27,173 --> 00:43:29,798
She went to bed in a long nightdress.

722
00:43:29,965 --> 00:43:31,548
Never had an orgasm.

723
00:43:31,715 --> 00:43:34,423
I'm not young, but I'm a good worker.

724
00:43:34,590 --> 00:43:36,465
Nothing! Impossible!

725
00:43:36,632 --> 00:43:38,257
Now she wants to divorce.

726
00:43:38,423 --> 00:43:41,423
She loves that man,
she suffers a great deal.

727
00:43:41,590 --> 00:43:43,632
Okay, fine, perfect!

728
00:43:43,798 --> 00:43:46,757
But he didn't fuck her like you did.

729
00:43:47,215 --> 00:43:48,298
He fucked her for fucking.

730
00:43:48,465 --> 00:43:51,257
You're more interested in listening
than fucking.

731
00:43:51,923 --> 00:43:53,507
I never fucked Olina.

732
00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:56,173
You're lying to me, my friend.

733
00:43:56,340 --> 00:43:58,715
She's lying, if she said that.

734
00:43:59,298 --> 00:44:01,090
Fucked her 4 times in New York.

735
00:44:01,257 --> 00:44:04,382
When we were such good friends
after I came from Prague.

736
00:44:04,548 --> 00:44:06,215
Not even once!

737
00:44:06,382 --> 00:44:08,548
Stop! Olina told me everything!

738
00:44:08,715 --> 00:44:11,215
"Why does he ask irritating questions?"

739
00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:12,507
Stop, it's not true!

740
00:44:12,882 --> 00:44:15,548
Deceitful bastard!
You can't resist a story

741
00:44:15,715 --> 00:44:18,715
even from the wife
of this refugee friend.

742
00:44:18,882 --> 00:44:21,548
It limits you as a friend
and as a novelist.

743
00:44:22,173 --> 00:44:23,507
My books stink too?

744
00:44:23,673 --> 00:44:26,632
- Ivan, they're waiting...
- No, get lost.

745
00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:28,632
Don't shout at her!

746
00:44:29,382 --> 00:44:31,507
What did you expect, you bastard?

747
00:44:31,673 --> 00:44:35,132
That I'd help perfect your lousy art
after you banged her?

748
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:37,173
Insult me if you like!

749
00:44:37,340 --> 00:44:38,673
You insist on playing dumb.

750
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,382
Look at you! You're not even sweating.

751
00:44:41,548 --> 00:44:45,840
Yeah, a great actor!
But what a terrible novelist.

752
00:44:46,007 --> 00:44:48,798
I'm not sweating
because none of this is true.

753
00:44:48,965 --> 00:44:51,298
When I'm guilty,
I'm an awful actor!

754
00:44:51,465 --> 00:44:52,882
Believe me,

755
00:44:53,048 --> 00:44:54,757
I out-sweat Nixon!

756
00:44:55,965 --> 00:44:58,007
Stop with this... Stop.

757
00:44:58,507 --> 00:45:01,798
Her leaving you
is obviously killing you.

758
00:45:02,048 --> 00:45:05,757
It's awful. And professionally,
things haven't worked out here.

759
00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:07,257
And now you lose Olina.

760
00:45:07,423 --> 00:45:10,215
Since the first time we all met,

761
00:45:10,382 --> 00:45:11,715
you've been ogling her.

762
00:45:11,882 --> 00:45:15,132
Yes, I ogled her!
She's young and pretty.

763
00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:17,757
But ogling isn't fucking!

764
00:45:17,923 --> 00:45:20,048
You American shitface.

765
00:45:20,340 --> 00:45:21,923
Pampered little liar!

766
00:45:22,798 --> 00:45:25,548
Put that down!
You'll have another heart attack!

767
00:45:25,798 --> 00:45:27,715
Don't worry, American boy.

768
00:45:27,882 --> 00:45:30,048
I won't shoot you in the trousers.

769
00:45:30,215 --> 00:45:31,715
There's no cause to!

770
00:45:32,007 --> 00:45:34,632
No, I'll shoot you in the ears.

771
00:45:36,923 --> 00:45:40,257
The governor's pardon.

772
00:45:49,132 --> 00:45:51,423
Yes it's me. How did it go?

773
00:45:57,882 --> 00:45:58,882
A miracle...

774
00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:00,172
No!

775
00:46:00,173 --> 00:46:01,199
Yes!

776
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,200
No!

777
00:46:02,757 --> 00:46:04,548
It's a miracle!

778
00:46:07,590 --> 00:46:09,423
Tell me about the miracle.

779
00:46:11,465 --> 00:46:15,090
The tomography
showed no sign of pathology.

780
00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:19,382
So this thing
which was incredibly virulent

781
00:46:19,548 --> 00:46:21,882
is responding to the treatment.

782
00:46:22,173 --> 00:46:24,423
- This is wonderful!
- Yes, wait.

783
00:46:24,590 --> 00:46:27,298
The doctor's pleased.
He'd given me a year.

784
00:46:27,465 --> 00:46:28,965
The prognostic has changed!

785
00:46:29,132 --> 00:46:30,132
Phew!

786
00:46:30,340 --> 00:46:31,382
Phew!

787
00:46:31,632 --> 00:46:32,923
As you say.

788
00:46:33,173 --> 00:46:34,715
You did all right.

789
00:46:36,007 --> 00:46:38,007
Yeah, I did all right.

790
00:46:39,132 --> 00:46:41,007
Know what this is called?

791
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,132
The governor's pardon.

792
00:46:44,507 --> 00:46:45,965
But who's the governor?

793
00:46:46,132 --> 00:46:47,298
No idea!

794
00:46:47,465 --> 00:46:50,882
But clearly
I must stay on his good side.

795
00:46:52,632 --> 00:46:54,715
A tomography of your whole body?

796
00:46:56,132 --> 00:46:57,132
No.

797
00:46:57,590 --> 00:46:59,673
From the groin to the heart.

798
00:47:00,340 --> 00:47:01,965
And the doctor said

799
00:47:02,673 --> 00:47:05,548
if there was a tumor anywhere else,

800
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,715
there'd be a liquid, a shadow,
in that area,

801
00:47:09,132 --> 00:47:10,382
the starting area.

802
00:47:10,632 --> 00:47:11,715
It's called...

803
00:47:12,798 --> 00:47:15,257
"the preferred path" of these cancers.

804
00:47:15,423 --> 00:47:16,673
Know about that?

805
00:47:17,340 --> 00:47:19,632
"The Preferred Path".

806
00:47:21,590 --> 00:47:22,965
Unbelievable.

807
00:47:24,132 --> 00:47:27,673
This is terrific, this is terrific news!

808
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:28,840
Yes!

809
00:47:29,882 --> 00:47:32,007
It's been quite a day.

810
00:47:35,798 --> 00:47:37,090
I was scared.

811
00:47:38,132 --> 00:47:39,673
I was so scared.

812
00:47:42,965 --> 00:47:46,715
I thought there might be something...

813
00:47:48,715 --> 00:47:50,882
hideous in my nature

814
00:47:53,298 --> 00:47:56,757
that would make me weep at the news.

815
00:47:59,298 --> 00:48:01,840
You're entitled to any reaction.

816
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,340
No preferred paths

817
00:48:06,507 --> 00:48:07,965
for emotions.

818
00:48:09,007 --> 00:48:11,007
So now I'll say goodbye.

819
00:48:11,882 --> 00:48:12,882
Already?

820
00:48:14,340 --> 00:48:16,132
What more is there to say?

821
00:48:16,548 --> 00:48:18,590
I knew you'd react like this.

822
00:48:19,757 --> 00:48:21,465
- Come on.- No!

823
00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:24,257
We must remain friends.

824
00:48:25,882 --> 00:48:27,632
Old friends.

825
00:48:29,548 --> 00:48:32,965
Anyway,
I'm not completely out of the woods.

826
00:48:33,132 --> 00:48:36,173
So you can still be a little nice to me.

827
00:48:37,507 --> 00:48:39,882
And once you're out of the woods?

828
00:48:40,507 --> 00:48:42,715
Then you can be yourself.

829
00:48:43,038 --> 00:48:44,090
All right.

830
00:48:44,965 --> 00:48:46,048
All right.

831
00:48:49,465 --> 00:48:50,673
Have a good day.

832
00:48:52,590 --> 00:48:53,757
Goodnight.

833
00:48:56,298 --> 00:48:59,632
Winter sports.

834
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,173
Remember me?

835
00:49:23,007 --> 00:49:24,257
It's coming back.

836
00:49:25,215 --> 00:49:26,257
Slowly.

837
00:49:26,423 --> 00:49:28,048
Take your time.

838
00:49:31,923 --> 00:49:33,048
You got thinner?

839
00:49:34,423 --> 00:49:36,048
You got used to someone fatter.

840
00:49:39,007 --> 00:49:41,090
It's great to see you.

841
00:49:45,590 --> 00:49:47,923
I wish you could have come skiing.

842
00:49:48,090 --> 00:49:49,465
It's so peaceful.

843
00:49:49,882 --> 00:49:53,173
Going up the hill very quietly
on the lift.

844
00:49:53,423 --> 00:49:55,965
- You're with me on many mountains.
- Me?

845
00:49:56,132 --> 00:49:57,965
Yes, while riding the T-bar.

846
00:49:58,257 --> 00:50:00,132
Me and the hiss of the T-bar.

847
00:50:00,507 --> 00:50:01,632
That's right.

848
00:50:09,923 --> 00:50:11,465
Everything's right at home?

849
00:50:11,632 --> 00:50:13,340
Yes, perfect.

850
00:50:14,382 --> 00:50:17,590
Nothing better for a marriage
than an old boyfriend nearby.

851
00:50:22,298 --> 00:50:23,798
Is that what you think?

852
00:50:26,715 --> 00:50:29,840
Mother taught me
never to sit cunt exposed.

853
00:50:30,007 --> 00:50:32,215
And legs over a man's shoulders?

854
00:50:32,590 --> 00:50:34,132
She never mentioned that.

855
00:50:34,423 --> 00:50:37,048
I don't think she had any idea

856
00:50:37,340 --> 00:50:38,882
I'd go in for that.

857
00:50:39,173 --> 00:50:40,382
Smell this.

858
00:50:45,673 --> 00:50:47,257
It really smells good.

859
00:51:14,632 --> 00:51:15,673
You all right?

860
00:51:17,298 --> 00:51:19,882
I'm going to have another birthday
tomorrow.

861
00:51:20,048 --> 00:51:22,673
- Not again?
- Yes. No way around it.

862
00:51:23,007 --> 00:51:25,340
Subtract 1929 from 1988,

863
00:51:25,507 --> 00:51:27,215
you get 59.

864
00:51:28,173 --> 00:51:29,673
Why take it so hard?

865
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:30,882
Listen to you!

866
00:51:31,882 --> 00:51:34,840
You piss and moan about being 34.

867
00:51:35,132 --> 00:51:37,590
I know why I take it so hard.

868
00:51:37,757 --> 00:51:38,840
But you?

869
00:51:40,215 --> 00:51:42,173
Because life will be over soon.

870
00:51:44,298 --> 00:51:45,507
I'll be dead.

871
00:51:48,507 --> 00:51:49,548
There you go.

872
00:51:52,715 --> 00:51:53,965
Vodka?

873
00:51:54,507 --> 00:51:56,507
Why do these Slavs come see you?

874
00:51:56,673 --> 00:51:58,590
Because I like them.

875
00:51:58,757 --> 00:52:00,840
Really? More than the English?

876
00:52:01,132 --> 00:52:02,215
Why?

877
00:52:02,465 --> 00:52:04,298
Because they suffer so much?

878
00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:07,798
You know,

879
00:52:08,798 --> 00:52:13,340
displaced persons have things to say.
Sometimes you can lend a hand.

880
00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:16,590
Soft spot for victims?
From being Jewish?

881
00:52:16,757 --> 00:52:19,798
I don't see myself as a Jewish victim!

882
00:52:20,173 --> 00:52:22,965
You're among the few Jews
born in this century

883
00:52:23,132 --> 00:52:26,423
who miraculously escaped the horror.

884
00:52:26,632 --> 00:52:30,298
So those who didn't escape,
Jewish or not, fascinate you.

885
00:52:30,465 --> 00:52:31,965
They don't fascinate you?

886
00:52:32,215 --> 00:52:33,257
I'm curious,

887
00:52:33,423 --> 00:52:36,923
but never would I go on holiday
in those countries,

888
00:52:37,090 --> 00:52:38,173
I must admit.

889
00:52:38,548 --> 00:52:40,340
How did get you get into that?

890
00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:41,840
By accident.

891
00:52:42,090 --> 00:52:44,632
I'd finished a book,
I was traveling.

892
00:52:44,882 --> 00:52:47,007
It was '71.

893
00:52:47,382 --> 00:52:50,590
My friend and I drove
from Vienna to Prague.

894
00:52:52,548 --> 00:52:55,423
I walked around a bit
and I felt good.

895
00:52:55,590 --> 00:52:59,632
I had a publisher there,
so I figured I may as well meet him.

896
00:52:59,798 --> 00:53:01,965
Next day, I go and introduce myself.

897
00:53:02,132 --> 00:53:03,632
And the director

898
00:53:03,798 --> 00:53:06,632
gathers all his staff around me

899
00:53:06,798 --> 00:53:09,090
to toast me with slivovitz.

900
00:53:09,257 --> 00:53:11,173
They were already plastered.

901
00:53:11,340 --> 00:53:14,257
Then an employee
comes and whispers to me:

902
00:53:14,423 --> 00:53:16,132
"Our director is a swine!

903
00:53:16,298 --> 00:53:18,715
He'll go rat on us to the regime."

904
00:53:18,965 --> 00:53:21,882
I found that extraordinary
and I felt even better.

905
00:53:22,048 --> 00:53:23,923
A thousand stories later,

906
00:53:24,382 --> 00:53:28,090
I got corralled
on the street by the police.

907
00:53:28,257 --> 00:53:29,632
This was in '75.

908
00:53:29,798 --> 00:53:32,257
By then,
I was used to cops tailing me,

909
00:53:32,423 --> 00:53:34,757
especially when visiting writer friends.

910
00:53:35,132 --> 00:53:36,798
But it was the spring,

911
00:53:36,965 --> 00:53:40,923
two police approached me in the street
and asked for ID.

912
00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:45,590
I showed them my passport,
visa, hotel form

913
00:53:45,757 --> 00:53:48,673
and they declared I must go to precinct.

914
00:53:49,132 --> 00:53:51,382
Then I saw a trolley stop

915
00:53:51,715 --> 00:53:53,048
a few feet away.

916
00:53:53,465 --> 00:53:54,965
I start shouting:

917
00:53:55,548 --> 00:53:59,382
"I'm being harassed by the police!

918
00:53:59,548 --> 00:54:03,507
I demand to be taken
to the American Embassy."

919
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,257
The cop repeats: "Come to station."

920
00:54:06,423 --> 00:54:09,382
He spoke in Czech
but I got the fucking drift.

921
00:54:09,548 --> 00:54:11,673
I refused to move, I kept shouting.

922
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,340
It went on for 15 minutes.

923
00:54:13,507 --> 00:54:14,882
"No! No! No!"

924
00:54:15,215 --> 00:54:17,340
The uniformed cop
went up the street

925
00:54:17,507 --> 00:54:20,423
to ask a plainclothes cop there.

926
00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:23,923
Just then,
a trolley stops at the station.

927
00:54:24,090 --> 00:54:27,715
I think:
"Why wait to get arrested? I'm stupid!"

928
00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:29,548
I jump on the trolley.

929
00:54:29,965 --> 00:54:33,757
My heart's pounding,
I'm covered in sweat.

930
00:54:33,965 --> 00:54:36,465
I change trolleys,
run down streets.

931
00:54:36,632 --> 00:54:38,798
I get back to my hotel, shaking.

932
00:54:39,382 --> 00:54:41,423
I call my Czech friend.

933
00:54:41,757 --> 00:54:45,298
And my friend bursts out laughing.
He says:

934
00:54:45,465 --> 00:54:49,673
"The police only want to harass you.
They scared you."

935
00:54:52,673 --> 00:54:55,298
Never again did I get a visa
for Czechoslovakia.

936
00:54:56,132 --> 00:54:57,923
The evening I left,

937
00:54:58,423 --> 00:55:02,548
they arrested my friend,
interrogated him all night long.

938
00:55:03,257 --> 00:55:06,507
"Why does this writer
keep coming to Czechoslovakia?"

939
00:55:06,673 --> 00:55:07,757
Answer, you dickwad!

940
00:55:07,923 --> 00:55:09,757
Why does he come to Prague?

941
00:55:09,923 --> 00:55:12,215
Haven't you read his books?

942
00:55:13,173 --> 00:55:15,465
He comes to Czechoslovakia

943
00:55:15,757 --> 00:55:17,590
for the girls!

944
00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:20,423
For the girls.

945
00:55:22,090 --> 00:55:23,215
Was that true?

946
00:55:23,382 --> 00:55:25,840
No, Czech jokes attracted me.

947
00:55:26,007 --> 00:55:28,298
In England,
it's the girls I'm into.

948
00:55:37,173 --> 00:55:39,673
I feel like I don't have a cunt today.

949
00:55:40,090 --> 00:55:42,215
I left it at home.
Don't bring it up.

950
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:44,048
Okay.

951
00:55:45,507 --> 00:55:47,840
- You want me to go?
- Hardly.

952
00:55:50,090 --> 00:55:51,882
Are you near tears again?

953
00:55:52,715 --> 00:55:54,340
Yes, I feel teary.

954
00:55:55,673 --> 00:55:56,923
Can I eat something?

955
00:55:58,340 --> 00:56:02,173
I have strawberries, melons,
wine, some bread.

956
00:56:02,382 --> 00:56:03,798
Even marijuana.

957
00:56:04,923 --> 00:56:06,590
A little of each, please?

958
00:56:06,757 --> 00:56:08,007
Of course!

959
00:56:24,678 --> 00:56:27,344
Imagine I die and,
going through my notes,

960
00:56:27,761 --> 00:56:30,803
a biographer comes across your name.
He asks you:

961
00:56:31,178 --> 00:56:32,594
Did you know him?

962
00:56:33,178 --> 00:56:35,011
Would you talk to him?

963
00:56:36,261 --> 00:56:38,219
It depends how...

964
00:56:38,636 --> 00:56:40,636
how intelligent he is.

965
00:56:40,803 --> 00:56:44,469
And if he's someone really serious.

966
00:56:45,386 --> 00:56:48,136
He liked you a lot,
I can tell you that.

967
00:56:48,344 --> 00:56:50,553
Can you tell me
something about him?

968
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:51,969
Why are you doing this?

969
00:56:52,261 --> 00:56:54,511
I'm curious. What would you say?

970
00:56:54,803 --> 00:56:56,219
He wrote none of his books.

971
00:56:56,386 --> 00:56:58,678
A series of mistresses wrote them.

972
00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:00,678
I wrote the last two.

973
00:57:00,844 --> 00:57:05,178
Look, Miss, you're very sweet
and very pretty.

974
00:57:05,344 --> 00:57:07,636
But you're not telling me the truth.

975
00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:12,011
What kind of affair
did you have with him?

976
00:57:12,386 --> 00:57:13,719
Very occasional.

977
00:57:14,178 --> 00:57:16,219
- Was he in love with you?
- No.

978
00:57:16,386 --> 00:57:18,678
He'd want to know
what you were like.

979
00:57:18,844 --> 00:57:20,886
Or what I thought you were like.

980
00:57:21,219 --> 00:57:22,636
I'd be wonderful on that.

981
00:57:22,803 --> 00:57:23,803
Would you?

982
00:57:24,719 --> 00:57:26,428
So what's the answer?

983
00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:28,636
There's no short answer.

984
00:57:28,969 --> 00:57:32,386
You were about to tell me
what kind of man he was.

985
00:57:32,761 --> 00:57:33,844
I won't tell you.

986
00:57:34,219 --> 00:57:37,303
Even if I did,
you wouldn't put it in the book.

987
00:57:37,469 --> 00:57:39,094
What was he like to you?

988
00:57:39,261 --> 00:57:40,678
He was...

989
00:57:42,719 --> 00:57:43,832
very nice.

990
00:57:48,469 --> 00:57:49,928
Can we stop?

991
00:57:50,553 --> 00:57:52,261
No, not yet.

992
00:57:53,594 --> 00:57:56,428
Did you go to the funeral?

993
00:57:58,094 --> 00:58:02,511
Thank God, it was in the morning.
My beloved husband gets home late.

994
00:58:03,011 --> 00:58:06,178
So as not to be alone,
I took my child to the park.

995
00:58:07,469 --> 00:58:09,094
Had I gone to the cemetery,

996
00:58:09,386 --> 00:58:11,969
I couldn't have shared it with anyone.

997
00:58:12,636 --> 00:58:14,469
There, it would have been

998
00:58:14,886 --> 00:58:17,511
his family, his friends, his wife.

999
00:58:19,261 --> 00:58:22,053
A Jewish funeral which I don't think

1000
00:58:22,219 --> 00:58:23,511
he really wanted.

1001
00:58:23,678 --> 00:58:25,053
Can we stop now?

1002
00:58:25,344 --> 00:58:27,219
You're on fire, go on!

1003
00:58:27,386 --> 00:58:29,928
What did he love so about you?

1004
00:58:30,094 --> 00:58:32,386
Drop the "so" and I'll answer.

1005
00:58:33,136 --> 00:58:34,553
Okay, dropped.

1006
00:58:35,928 --> 00:58:39,469
I was young, I was needy, I was there.

1007
00:58:40,053 --> 00:58:42,094
Not very different from his wives,

1008
00:58:42,761 --> 00:58:44,136
but I was English.

1009
00:58:44,469 --> 00:58:45,678
And that...

1010
00:58:45,969 --> 00:58:48,386
made me a little foreign to him.

1011
00:58:49,428 --> 00:58:51,136
He liked the way I spoke.

1012
00:58:51,303 --> 00:58:53,719
Since his death, are you better?

1013
00:59:01,178 --> 00:59:02,553
Come, come...

1014
00:59:12,261 --> 00:59:13,761
Just fair...

1015
00:59:19,761 --> 00:59:23,219
My life began again for good, the day.

1016
00:59:23,844 --> 00:59:26,136
I gave up on him.

1017
00:59:29,011 --> 00:59:30,803
I felt much better.

1018
00:59:31,678 --> 00:59:33,553
But living this...

1019
00:59:34,469 --> 00:59:37,011
reliving this, in front of you,

1020
00:59:37,178 --> 00:59:39,553
in such a cold way,

1021
00:59:40,178 --> 00:59:41,678
fills me with sorrow.

1022
00:59:43,094 --> 00:59:45,053
For me, those times...

1023
00:59:45,969 --> 00:59:47,136
were tremendous.

1024
00:59:47,969 --> 00:59:50,094
Marvelous. I love you.

1025
00:59:51,844 --> 00:59:53,219
You should be the writer.

1026
00:59:53,386 --> 00:59:54,428
No.

1027
00:59:57,178 --> 00:59:59,761
I know what I'm in for.
You have no scruples.

1028
01:00:23,636 --> 01:00:25,011
You're a friend?

1029
01:00:25,886 --> 01:00:28,136
Great. Have a nice day.

1030
01:00:39,553 --> 01:00:41,136
I dozed off.

1031
01:00:41,303 --> 01:00:42,303
Yes.

1032
01:00:48,678 --> 01:00:50,303
I dreamt about you.

1033
01:00:52,511 --> 01:00:55,469
It was the most wonderful dream.

1034
01:00:56,428 --> 01:00:58,886
The essence of you, my dear.

1035
01:00:59,469 --> 01:01:01,261
Can you speak louder?

1036
01:01:02,344 --> 01:01:04,719
I dreamt about you.

1037
01:01:07,969 --> 01:01:10,261
It's hard to say these things.

1038
01:01:10,428 --> 01:01:13,011
That's why your voice is so soft.

1039
01:01:13,636 --> 01:01:16,428
What happened to us in your dream?

1040
01:01:17,511 --> 01:01:19,344
Like in days of yore?

1041
01:01:19,761 --> 01:01:20,761
Better.

1042
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,803
Must have been some dream.

1043
01:01:24,261 --> 01:01:25,386
Yes.

1044
01:01:26,386 --> 01:01:28,303
I was very in love with you.

1045
01:01:28,803 --> 01:01:30,719
- Are you sure?
- Yes!

1046
01:01:34,136 --> 01:01:35,469
I must say...

1047
01:01:37,136 --> 01:01:38,803
that helps.

1048
01:01:41,219 --> 01:01:43,636
It's wonderful seeing you.

1049
01:01:48,261 --> 01:01:52,761
I wish you'd had
the same lovely dream I did.

1050
01:01:53,178 --> 01:01:54,511
Write it out.

1051
01:01:55,094 --> 01:01:57,969
That way I can stick it
in the book about you.

1052
01:01:58,678 --> 01:02:00,053
Don't be silly!

1053
01:02:00,511 --> 01:02:02,844
I'm not laying myself on the line.

1054
01:02:08,553 --> 01:02:10,219
You seem shaky.

1055
01:02:11,178 --> 01:02:13,594
I had chemo this morning.

1056
01:02:14,678 --> 01:02:17,261
Then I have that god-awful operation.

1057
01:02:17,678 --> 01:02:20,053
The after-effects are pretty grim.

1058
01:02:21,344 --> 01:02:23,094
Why does it get worse?

1059
01:02:23,594 --> 01:02:26,761
Because the poison is here,
on the inside.

1060
01:02:29,678 --> 01:02:31,636
When do you get out?

1061
01:02:32,386 --> 01:02:33,678
Tomorrow morning.

1062
01:02:33,844 --> 01:02:36,594
They just throw you out, I swear.

1063
01:02:37,344 --> 01:02:39,303
Then I go home...

1064
01:02:39,761 --> 01:02:41,803
and sleep 14 hours straight.

1065
01:02:43,928 --> 01:02:45,344
You're pale...

1066
01:02:45,803 --> 01:02:47,344
and you're thin.

1067
01:02:48,219 --> 01:02:49,553
You are.

1068
01:02:50,178 --> 01:02:51,428
I wish I were thin.

1069
01:02:51,761 --> 01:02:53,969
I look bursting with health.

1070
01:02:54,136 --> 01:02:57,761
I lose my hair,
but otherwise I look great.

1071
01:03:00,011 --> 01:03:02,886
You lose your hair.
You'll wear a wig.

1072
01:03:03,136 --> 01:03:04,844
No... never.

1073
01:03:05,178 --> 01:03:07,928
I prefer these hideous babushkas.

1074
01:03:09,803 --> 01:03:11,469
Your hair will grow back.

1075
01:03:12,886 --> 01:03:13,886
Yes?

1076
01:03:15,094 --> 01:03:17,428
- It needs help.
- You look good.

1077
01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:20,428
That must mean something.

1078
01:03:25,344 --> 01:03:26,344
Yes.

1079
01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:28,428
That I won't die immediately.

1080
01:03:29,386 --> 01:03:32,261
No but... the worst nightmare is that...

1081
01:03:33,344 --> 01:03:36,636
a surprise awaits the doctors
when they open me up.

1082
01:03:36,844 --> 01:03:39,386
That they'll see I'm full of tumors.

1083
01:03:39,553 --> 01:03:42,303
- Is that possible?
- I don't think so.

1084
01:03:42,844 --> 01:03:44,803
I don't think I should die.

1085
01:03:44,969 --> 01:03:46,303
You won't.

1086
01:03:50,469 --> 01:03:52,303
You said that in my dream!

1087
01:03:53,551 --> 01:03:54,553
See?

1088
01:03:54,719 --> 01:03:57,344
I can't be wrong twice in 24 hours.

1089
01:03:58,178 --> 01:04:00,678
- Say that again.
- I can't be wrong.

1090
01:04:01,969 --> 01:04:02,969
Again!

1091
01:04:03,094 --> 01:04:04,803
You're not going to die.

1092
01:04:07,469 --> 01:04:08,719
One last time.

1093
01:04:11,469 --> 01:04:14,303
You're not going to die.
You're going to live!

1094
01:04:17,428 --> 01:04:18,678
Thank you.

1095
01:04:32,011 --> 01:04:33,178
How are you?

1096
01:04:34,678 --> 01:04:35,719
Not bad.

1097
01:04:37,261 --> 01:04:40,136
What's become
of the star of my seminar?

1098
01:04:41,594 --> 01:04:45,344
I can't seem to communicate to people.

1099
01:04:45,511 --> 01:04:46,511
There.

1100
01:04:47,136 --> 01:04:48,553
That's how I am.

1101
01:04:49,136 --> 01:04:50,469
- You?
- Yes.

1102
01:04:51,928 --> 01:04:55,553
It's frightening.
I can't seem to remember the past.

1103
01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,633
I remember you very vaguely.

1104
01:04:57,634 --> 01:04:58,754
Sorry.

1105
01:04:59,053 --> 01:05:00,053
It's because.

1106
01:05:00,469 --> 01:05:03,928
I had shock therapy.
It made it worse.

1107
01:05:04,094 --> 01:05:05,136
What therapy?

1108
01:05:05,303 --> 01:05:07,886
It was actually pretty pleasant.

1109
01:05:08,969 --> 01:05:11,094
They give you sodium pentothal.

1110
01:05:11,511 --> 01:05:15,719
You're out.
When you come around, you're groggy.

1111
01:05:16,594 --> 01:05:19,178
They didn't do much, twice a week.

1112
01:05:19,761 --> 01:05:21,053
I wasn't frightened.

1113
01:05:21,678 --> 01:05:23,719
I'm waiting for something...

1114
01:05:24,136 --> 01:05:25,969
an energy, to come back.

1115
01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:34,303
Actually, I feel... nothing.

1116
01:05:34,928 --> 01:05:37,636
When I speak to people, it's kind of...

1117
01:05:38,136 --> 01:05:39,428
a downer.

1118
01:05:39,761 --> 01:05:42,094
I need to make a huge effort.

1119
01:05:42,428 --> 01:05:44,428
Like right now with you.

1120
01:05:45,219 --> 01:05:46,344
Excuse me.

1121
01:05:49,261 --> 01:05:51,469
Philip, can I have an ashtray?

1122
01:05:59,803 --> 01:06:01,011
Are you on meds?

1123
01:06:01,178 --> 01:06:04,053
I was depressed.
They gave me a combination.

1124
01:06:04,344 --> 01:06:05,511
I don't like that.

1125
01:06:05,678 --> 01:06:07,178
They said that...

1126
01:06:09,761 --> 01:06:12,844
the pills were all compatible,
but with me...

1127
01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:14,511
no such luck.

1128
01:06:15,094 --> 01:06:16,636
Very bad reaction.

1129
01:06:17,469 --> 01:06:19,261
I became extremely paranoid.

1130
01:06:19,428 --> 01:06:21,428
So, re-hospitalized!

1131
01:06:22,386 --> 01:06:25,594
I thought the exam room
was a torture chamber.

1132
01:06:26,053 --> 01:06:29,469
I remember they came into my room
with a paper.

1133
01:06:29,636 --> 01:06:32,678
And they said: "Will you please

1134
01:06:33,011 --> 01:06:35,886
sign this paper
saying you killed your mother?"

1135
01:06:36,678 --> 01:06:38,178
I threw fits.

1136
01:06:39,844 --> 01:06:41,636
How can you ask me to sign that?

1137
01:06:41,803 --> 01:06:43,219
How dare you?

1138
01:06:44,136 --> 01:06:45,553
It was in September.

1139
01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:47,928
It was a hallucination.

1140
01:06:51,469 --> 01:06:54,553
Now I'm on an antipsychotic
to prevent it.

1141
01:06:55,678 --> 01:06:57,761
A small dose, but still...

1142
01:06:58,219 --> 01:07:00,261
What demolished you like this?

1143
01:07:00,844 --> 01:07:02,761
You were fine when I knew you.

1144
01:07:03,886 --> 01:07:05,803
Intellectually stubborn,

1145
01:07:05,969 --> 01:07:07,219
very shrewd.

1146
01:07:07,636 --> 01:07:11,178
Great flair in those black outfits,
very Hamlet.

1147
01:07:11,469 --> 01:07:13,094
Your student pallor.

1148
01:07:13,386 --> 01:07:15,844
Does this now describe your burden?

1149
01:07:16,011 --> 01:07:18,053
That's what you said 5 years ago.

1150
01:07:19,553 --> 01:07:22,428
When you took me to that restaurant
on 3rd Avenue.

1151
01:07:23,011 --> 01:07:25,511
I remember the dinner,
not what we said.

1152
01:07:26,136 --> 01:07:29,303
You wished me luck, said I'd need it.

1153
01:07:29,553 --> 01:07:30,678
Why?

1154
01:07:33,386 --> 01:07:36,553
Because some people
might find me irresistible!

1155
01:07:40,219 --> 01:07:43,803
I was so on edge,
it was one of the few things I heard.

1156
01:07:44,136 --> 01:07:45,428
That I remember!

1157
01:07:45,886 --> 01:07:47,928
I wasn't very calm myself.

1158
01:07:48,136 --> 01:07:50,344
I couldn't have known.
You were my teacher.

1159
01:07:50,511 --> 01:07:53,594
That's why I wasn't too calm.

1160
01:07:58,803 --> 01:08:02,678
You'd slink into class
with that disheveled hair.

1161
01:08:03,761 --> 01:08:07,053
I remember all those egg-heads
reading Kafka,

1162
01:08:07,219 --> 01:08:09,928
explaining howThe Metamorphosis and The Trial

1163
01:08:10,094 --> 01:08:12,928
derived from his relation to his father.

1164
01:08:13,636 --> 01:08:14,761
And you...

1165
01:08:15,344 --> 01:08:17,386
you said wearily "No..."

1166
01:08:17,553 --> 01:08:19,303
It was the opposite.

1167
01:08:20,011 --> 01:08:22,803
The source of his relationship
to his father

1168
01:08:22,969 --> 01:08:25,011
is The Metamorphosis
and The Trial.

1169
01:08:25,178 --> 01:08:27,178
Then you threw your haymaker.

1170
01:08:27,344 --> 01:08:29,636
"By the time a writer is 36,

1171
01:08:29,803 --> 01:08:32,261
he stops translating
experience into fiction,

1172
01:08:32,428 --> 01:08:34,886
he imposes his fiction on experience."

1173
01:08:35,428 --> 01:08:36,594
At nineteen,

1174
01:08:37,719 --> 01:08:39,094
you were already somebody.

1175
01:08:40,303 --> 01:08:42,094
I was already crazy?

1176
01:08:42,678 --> 01:08:43,678
Not at all.

1177
01:08:43,844 --> 01:08:45,636
Maybe you were crazy too.

1178
01:08:46,053 --> 01:08:48,844
After one of my classes,
you wrote me a note:

1179
01:08:49,011 --> 01:08:51,761
"I pray for only one thing, every night:

1180
01:08:51,928 --> 01:08:53,636
to be a good writer."

1181
01:08:54,928 --> 01:08:56,428
A good writer...

1182
01:08:58,344 --> 01:09:00,219
Tell me again what happened.

1183
01:09:01,011 --> 01:09:04,636
Make me understand
the shock treatments, the hospitals.

1184
01:09:06,719 --> 01:09:08,636
The old, old story.

1185
01:09:08,969 --> 01:09:10,969
I was attracted to...

1186
01:09:11,344 --> 01:09:13,886
hypnotic womanizers.

1187
01:09:14,386 --> 01:09:16,011
And I went bonkers.

1188
01:09:16,428 --> 01:09:17,844
It was my punishment.

1189
01:09:18,011 --> 01:09:19,386
Is that an accusation?

1190
01:09:19,553 --> 01:09:20,844
No, no.

1191
01:09:21,928 --> 01:09:24,969
No, with you it was fresh.

1192
01:09:25,761 --> 01:09:27,844
Tender, so intimate.

1193
01:09:29,928 --> 01:09:31,261
It was inebriating.

1194
01:09:31,428 --> 01:09:34,053
You never had affairs that weren't...

1195
01:09:34,803 --> 01:09:36,094
so fraught?

1196
01:09:36,594 --> 01:09:37,761
Just pleasant?

1197
01:09:39,928 --> 01:09:40,928
Lots!

1198
01:09:41,178 --> 01:09:42,386
What happened?

1199
01:09:42,761 --> 01:09:44,011
What happened...

1200
01:09:45,178 --> 01:09:47,261
what happened was I got bored.

1201
01:09:49,322 --> 01:09:53,405
The trial.

1202
01:09:57,655 --> 01:10:00,447
Can you explain to the court
why you hate women?

1203
01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:01,655
I don't hate them.

1204
01:10:01,822 --> 01:10:03,280
If you don't,

1205
01:10:03,447 --> 01:10:06,613
then why defame and denigrate them
in your books?

1206
01:10:06,780 --> 01:10:10,238
Why abuse them in your work
and in your life?

1207
01:10:10,905 --> 01:10:14,030
Neither in my work nor my life
do I abuse them.

1208
01:10:14,322 --> 01:10:17,113
We've heard testimony
from expert witnesses.

1209
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:18,947
You argue before the court

1210
01:10:19,113 --> 01:10:23,072
that these experts with unimpeachable
professional standards

1211
01:10:23,238 --> 01:10:24,738
are either mistaken

1212
01:10:24,905 --> 01:10:26,197
or lying?

1213
01:10:26,697 --> 01:10:28,113
May I ask something?

1214
01:10:32,655 --> 01:10:36,113
What have you ever done
that's useful to women?

1215
01:10:37,447 --> 01:10:38,947
Why do you interpret

1216
01:10:39,113 --> 01:10:41,863
one woman's depiction
as that of all woman?

1217
01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:44,322
You're not allowed to ask questions,

1218
01:10:44,488 --> 01:10:45,905
only to answer them.

1219
01:10:46,780 --> 01:10:48,572
You are charged with sexism,

1220
01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:50,780
misogyny,

1221
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:52,905
woman abuse,

1222
01:10:53,072 --> 01:10:54,530
slander of women,

1223
01:10:55,405 --> 01:10:57,155
and ruthless seduction.

1224
01:10:57,854 --> 01:10:58,863
Sir?

1225
01:10:59,030 --> 01:11:00,030
Yes?

1226
01:11:00,197 --> 01:11:03,738
Why did you publish books
that cause women suffering?

1227
01:11:03,905 --> 01:11:07,155
You never thought
they'd be fodder for our enemies?

1228
01:11:08,072 --> 01:11:10,113
I can only reply

1229
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:14,488
that the objectives
of this self-styled equal-rights democracy

1230
01:11:14,655 --> 01:11:17,530
of which you're fond
are not mine

1231
01:11:17,697 --> 01:11:19,072
as a writer!

1232
01:11:19,447 --> 01:11:22,280
We have no desire
to hear you talk literature.

1233
01:11:22,655 --> 01:11:25,405
In your books,
all women are stereotypes.

1234
01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:27,072
They're vicious perverts.

1235
01:11:27,488 --> 01:11:29,238
Why portray Mrs Tarnopol

1236
01:11:29,405 --> 01:11:31,613
is that how you pronounce it?

1237
01:11:32,613 --> 01:11:34,988
As hysterical and psychopathic?

1238
01:11:35,155 --> 01:11:37,363
Why depict women as shrews?

1239
01:11:37,530 --> 01:11:39,155
Why did Shakespeare do it?

1240
01:11:41,113 --> 01:11:44,822
You make it seem
as if every woman must be extolled.

1241
01:11:45,405 --> 01:11:48,072
You compare yourself to Shakespeare!

1242
01:11:48,822 --> 01:11:51,030
Let's delve into your background.

1243
01:11:52,322 --> 01:11:54,822
You were a university professor, right?

1244
01:11:54,988 --> 01:11:56,197
That's right.

1245
01:11:57,363 --> 01:12:01,072
As such, did you engage
in sexual practices with students?

1246
01:12:01,238 --> 01:12:02,447
Humiliating too?

1247
01:12:03,405 --> 01:12:04,655
Not for you?

1248
01:12:04,822 --> 01:12:06,822
They were honored to be chosen?

1249
01:12:09,363 --> 01:12:11,197
How often did you force them

1250
01:12:11,363 --> 01:12:14,363
to copulate with a teacher
acting in loco parentis?

1251
01:12:15,322 --> 01:12:18,447
There was no need to exert force,
trust me.

1252
01:12:18,780 --> 01:12:22,572
How many students
did you influence and exploit?

1253
01:12:22,914 --> 01:12:23,947
Three!

1254
01:12:24,113 --> 01:12:27,322
Over the years
I've had love affairs with three!

1255
01:12:31,822 --> 01:12:34,905
After patronizing us
with a lecture on literature,

1256
01:12:35,072 --> 01:12:37,697
we must now bear
another one on love?

1257
01:12:39,988 --> 01:12:41,238
From you?

1258
01:12:41,488 --> 01:12:44,030
- You practiced adultery?
- I still do!

1259
01:12:44,197 --> 01:12:45,572
With wives of friends?

1260
01:12:45,738 --> 01:12:48,947
More often with wives of strangers,
like you.

1261
01:12:49,113 --> 01:12:50,863
Who gave more sadistic delight?

1262
01:12:51,030 --> 01:12:53,947
Friends whose wives
you ruthlessly seduced?

1263
01:12:54,113 --> 01:12:56,447
- Or strangers?
- You're beautiful!

1264
01:12:56,947 --> 01:12:58,822
He's exploiting me in court!

1265
01:12:58,988 --> 01:13:00,572
No, you're delightful!

1266
01:13:00,905 --> 01:13:02,072
Brilliant!

1267
01:13:02,613 --> 01:13:03,780
I'm no "girl"!

1268
01:13:03,947 --> 01:13:05,488
This is fucking, baby.

1269
01:13:05,780 --> 01:13:08,030
This is pure pornography!

1270
01:13:08,197 --> 01:13:11,030
I'm fucking you in a court of law!

1271
01:13:12,738 --> 01:13:14,697
Follow me, ladies!

1272
01:13:14,947 --> 01:13:19,030
Spring.

1273
01:13:20,155 --> 01:13:22,155
When are you due at work?

1274
01:13:24,613 --> 01:13:26,072
In the afternoon.

1275
01:13:27,197 --> 01:13:29,822
I probably shouldn't come to you anyway.

1276
01:13:31,613 --> 01:13:34,113
I've been capricious.

1277
01:13:35,655 --> 01:13:38,113
I think you wanted to try something.

1278
01:13:38,447 --> 01:13:39,655
You tried it.

1279
01:13:39,822 --> 01:13:41,613
For me, you're not capricious.

1280
01:13:43,197 --> 01:13:44,988
I don't want to talk about it.

1281
01:13:46,488 --> 01:13:48,572
Then maybe...

1282
01:13:48,780 --> 01:13:50,988
it's best you don't come.

1283
01:13:55,655 --> 01:13:57,072
I'd love to see you.

1284
01:13:57,447 --> 01:13:59,363
I'm dying to see you.

1285
01:13:59,530 --> 01:14:01,613
You've really unsettled me.

1286
01:14:02,780 --> 01:14:04,863
Sorry if I've been a pain.

1287
01:14:05,030 --> 01:14:06,905
Don't be silly.

1288
01:14:08,613 --> 01:14:09,905
Did you miss me?

1289
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:12,030
Of course I've missed you!

1290
01:14:12,238 --> 01:14:13,947
Terribly, this afternoon.

1291
01:14:14,530 --> 01:14:15,697
In fact.

1292
01:14:17,780 --> 01:14:19,030
What do you miss?

1293
01:14:19,197 --> 01:14:20,447
- Want to know?
- No!

1294
01:14:20,613 --> 01:14:22,238
No dirty talk, please.

1295
01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:26,905
All right.

1296
01:14:38,655 --> 01:14:39,822
Here I am.

1297
01:14:48,905 --> 01:14:51,780
- I'm heavier?
- Not quite the matron yet.

1298
01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:55,780
I don't worry about anything anymore.

1299
01:14:56,405 --> 01:14:58,905
- I'm not anxious anymore.
- Since I disappeared.

1300
01:14:59,363 --> 01:15:00,780
I don't know since when.

1301
01:15:02,905 --> 01:15:05,322
So how are things on the home front?

1302
01:15:05,738 --> 01:15:07,197
How does he like them?

1303
01:15:07,530 --> 01:15:09,405
Plump and pretty?

1304
01:15:10,155 --> 01:15:11,905
I like them the way you were.

1305
01:15:12,613 --> 01:15:14,697
Thin and neurotic.

1306
01:15:16,072 --> 01:15:17,863
Things are much better.

1307
01:15:18,030 --> 01:15:20,030
Since you've been gone,

1308
01:15:20,447 --> 01:15:24,947
what's happened is
a shift in the balance of power.

1309
01:15:25,113 --> 01:15:26,322
In my favor.

1310
01:15:28,322 --> 01:15:30,322
He behaves much better to me.

1311
01:15:30,738 --> 01:15:31,822
Excellent.

1312
01:15:33,488 --> 01:15:34,822
Thank you, Doctor.

1313
01:15:51,697 --> 01:15:54,113
Seeing me is difficult for you.

1314
01:15:57,613 --> 01:15:59,197
I should have warned you.

1315
01:16:00,238 --> 01:16:01,655
I'd have come anyway.

1316
01:16:12,738 --> 01:16:15,030
My old father lives
at the boiling point.

1317
01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:18,780
An opinion on everything,

1318
01:16:18,947 --> 01:16:20,988
and often it's not mine.

1319
01:16:25,238 --> 01:16:27,530
With my father, I must sometimes

1320
01:16:27,738 --> 01:16:30,780
suppress myself
from acting like a 14-year-old.

1321
01:16:33,363 --> 01:16:34,436
Last summer,

1322
01:16:34,697 --> 01:16:39,155
he got riled up when my brother's son
decided to marry a Puerto Rican.

1323
01:16:39,572 --> 01:16:41,613
Since he can't hide his feelings,

1324
01:16:41,780 --> 01:16:44,697
he got the kid all riled up too.

1325
01:16:46,322 --> 01:16:47,780
I got into my car,

1326
01:16:47,947 --> 01:16:50,155
drove from Connecticut to New Jersey.

1327
01:16:50,405 --> 01:16:53,655
When I got there, he started in on me.

1328
01:16:53,822 --> 01:16:55,197
I listened half an hour.

1329
01:16:55,488 --> 01:16:59,155
Then I decided to give him
a little history lesson.

1330
01:16:59,405 --> 01:17:01,613
I said, Listen, dear father,

1331
01:17:02,030 --> 01:17:05,280
your father,
at the turn of the century, had...

1332
01:17:05,530 --> 01:17:06,697
3 choices.

1333
01:17:08,030 --> 01:17:11,197
One:
stay in Jewish Galicia with Grandma.

1334
01:17:11,363 --> 01:17:14,613
Had he stayed,
what would have happened to him,

1335
01:17:14,780 --> 01:17:16,280
to her, me, you, Sandy?

1336
01:17:16,655 --> 01:17:18,238
Ashes!

1337
01:17:18,447 --> 01:17:20,697
Dad! Ashes!
Everything up in smoke!

1338
01:17:20,863 --> 01:17:23,072
- Don't you agree?
- Yes, but stop!

1339
01:17:23,238 --> 01:17:25,572
I'll continue my logic.
Choice two.

1340
01:17:25,738 --> 01:17:28,488
Your father could have gone
to Palestine!

1341
01:17:28,863 --> 01:17:31,947
Two.
Your father could have gone to Palestine.

1342
01:17:32,155 --> 01:17:35,822
You and Sandy in 1948
would have fought the Arabs.

1343
01:17:36,238 --> 01:17:39,905
At least one of you would have lost
a leg, foot, arm!

1344
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:43,488
In 67,
I'd have fought in the Six Day War.

1345
01:17:43,655 --> 01:17:46,322
At least some shrapnel in my head.

1346
01:17:46,488 --> 01:17:49,405
- Sure, sure.
- I could have lost an eye!

1347
01:17:49,572 --> 01:17:51,530
Your grandkids: Lebanon, '82.

1348
01:17:51,697 --> 01:17:54,738
Let's assume only one gets killed.
That's Palestine!

1349
01:17:54,905 --> 01:17:57,863
Choice 3: America.
The one your father picked!

1350
01:17:58,363 --> 01:18:00,030
Third choice!

1351
01:18:00,280 --> 01:18:02,238
Go to America!

1352
01:18:02,405 --> 01:18:05,447
In America,
what's the worst thing that can happen?

1353
01:18:05,613 --> 01:18:07,780
Grandson marries a Puerto Rican!

1354
01:18:08,197 --> 01:18:11,030
Stay in Poland
and accept the consequences!

1355
01:18:11,197 --> 01:18:14,822
Go to Israel and accept the consequences
of being an Israeli Jew!

1356
01:18:14,988 --> 01:18:17,488
Or else you live in America! So?

1357
01:18:17,780 --> 01:18:20,280
What do you prefer?

1358
01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:23,072
What did he say?

1359
01:18:23,238 --> 01:18:26,447
He said:
"Okay, stop! You're right! You win!"

1360
01:18:28,280 --> 01:18:31,988
I was thrilled, for once I outfoxed him.

1361
01:18:32,155 --> 01:18:34,947
I said, Dad, know what's next?

1362
01:18:35,238 --> 01:18:37,238
I'll go see that girl's mother.

1363
01:18:37,405 --> 01:18:40,155
She must be torturing her rosary.

1364
01:18:40,322 --> 01:18:41,947
I'll say, You want to live...

1365
01:18:42,572 --> 01:18:44,988
You want to live in Puerto Rico? So,

1366
01:18:45,155 --> 01:18:47,280
your daughter marries a Puerto Rican.

1367
01:18:47,447 --> 01:18:50,488
But you all have to live in Puerto Rico!

1368
01:18:50,988 --> 01:18:53,280
Otherwise, you live in Brooklyn,

1369
01:18:53,447 --> 01:18:56,863
and worst-case scenario,
your daughter marries a Jew.

1370
01:18:57,572 --> 01:18:59,530
My father starts up again!

1371
01:18:59,697 --> 01:19:01,822
"Worst-case scenario?" Meaning?

1372
01:19:01,988 --> 01:19:03,238
Why worst case?

1373
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:06,613
She should be thrilled
who her daughter's marrying.

1374
01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:09,738
She should be thrilled
who her daughter's marrying!

1375
01:19:09,905 --> 01:19:12,113
Yes, almost as much as you.

1376
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:13,405
Me?

1377
01:19:14,030 --> 01:19:16,280
So? How did it end?

1378
01:19:16,613 --> 01:19:19,822
The marriage took place at St. Patrick's

1379
01:19:19,988 --> 01:19:21,363
with a rabbi in attendance

1380
01:19:21,530 --> 01:19:24,238
in case they tried
to slip us a fast one.

1381
01:19:24,405 --> 01:19:25,655
What a story!

1382
01:19:25,822 --> 01:19:28,822
Why do they all magnify these things?

1383
01:19:29,197 --> 01:19:32,072
Why do you all try to minimize them?

1384
01:19:32,447 --> 01:19:36,322
In England, when I'm in a public place,
a restaurant, a party,

1385
01:19:36,488 --> 01:19:40,280
if someone uses the word "Jew"
the voice drops a bit.

1386
01:19:41,988 --> 01:19:43,030
Really?

1387
01:19:43,197 --> 01:19:45,197
You all say "Jew"

1388
01:19:45,363 --> 01:19:48,697
the way most people say "shit".

1389
01:19:49,072 --> 01:19:50,155
Jew.

1390
01:19:51,613 --> 01:19:54,197
God, you really are your father's son.

1391
01:19:56,488 --> 01:19:58,697
Whose should I be instead?

1392
01:19:59,322 --> 01:20:00,572
Your mother's?

1393
01:20:40,405 --> 01:20:42,988
Everyone I keep meeting these days says:

1394
01:20:43,155 --> 01:20:44,780
"I remember you at Oxford.

1395
01:20:44,947 --> 01:20:48,280
You wore transparent blouses
and no bra."

1396
01:20:49,697 --> 01:20:52,447
So you're an ex-extrovert.

1397
01:20:53,072 --> 01:20:54,988
Everyone criticized my blue hair,

1398
01:20:55,155 --> 01:20:57,572
and because I exposed my breasts.

1399
01:20:58,488 --> 01:21:02,113
I haven't seen them exposed around here
for a while.

1400
01:21:02,363 --> 01:21:04,113
I don't like them anymore.

1401
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:09,572
I listen to you.

1402
01:21:10,697 --> 01:21:11,822
A lot.

1403
01:21:13,363 --> 01:21:14,405
Too much.

1404
01:21:14,780 --> 01:21:15,947
Why?

1405
01:21:17,905 --> 01:21:19,072
What is it?

1406
01:21:20,822 --> 01:21:23,905
I'm thinking that I still love you.

1407
01:21:31,988 --> 01:21:33,155
Despite?

1408
01:21:33,947 --> 01:21:35,072
Despite.

1409
01:21:39,613 --> 01:21:41,363
No, no...

1410
01:21:41,988 --> 01:21:43,113
Stop.

1411
01:21:46,447 --> 01:21:48,447
It's beneath you to stay married

1412
01:21:48,613 --> 01:21:51,280
because you think
you can't get another job

1413
01:21:51,447 --> 01:21:53,822
and this way you have a meal ticket.

1414
01:21:54,363 --> 01:21:56,947
A meal ticket is not beneath anyone.

1415
01:21:57,113 --> 01:21:58,863
Yes, it's beneath you.

1416
01:21:59,447 --> 01:22:03,030
If the marriage is over, why not leave?
I don't get it!

1417
01:22:05,488 --> 01:22:06,738
I don't want to.

1418
01:22:07,655 --> 01:22:09,030
There's your dignity.

1419
01:22:10,655 --> 01:22:12,822
There's no dignity without income.

1420
01:22:14,655 --> 01:22:16,197
Clever, but wrong!

1421
01:22:16,363 --> 01:22:18,363
Just the opposite is true!

1422
01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:19,613
Look.

1423
01:22:20,697 --> 01:22:22,238
I'll write you a check.

1424
01:22:23,780 --> 01:22:25,238
It's terribly nice.

1425
01:22:25,447 --> 01:22:27,197
I honestly can't take it.

1426
01:22:27,697 --> 01:22:31,863
Why not just cash it?
Put it in your bank, or hide it.

1427
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:34,780
Just don't put it in your joint account.

1428
01:22:35,363 --> 01:22:36,613
Can I frame it?

1429
01:22:36,863 --> 01:22:37,905
No.

1430
01:22:38,238 --> 01:22:39,613
Just don't lose it.

1431
01:22:39,988 --> 01:22:41,697
Can I put it in my Bible?

1432
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:45,405
No, put it in the bank for a rainy day.

1433
01:22:53,113 --> 01:22:55,447
Why not think before throwing it out?

1434
01:22:56,030 --> 01:22:57,155
Thanks very much.

1435
01:22:58,613 --> 01:23:00,405
It'd be best if you took it.

1436
01:23:17,870 --> 01:23:19,036
I'll miss you.

1437
01:23:22,620 --> 01:23:23,828
I'll miss you a lot.

1438
01:23:26,370 --> 01:23:27,911
I'll think of you too.

1439
01:23:29,703 --> 01:23:32,120
It's a real damn shame
for both of us.

1440
01:23:56,411 --> 01:24:00,495
The spouse.

1441
01:24:17,453 --> 01:24:19,245
Tell me what's upsetting you.

1442
01:24:19,411 --> 01:24:23,411
I can't come home from my studio
to dinners like these.

1443
01:24:23,578 --> 01:24:25,286
You don't speak.

1444
01:24:25,453 --> 01:24:26,911
You look awful.

1445
01:24:27,078 --> 01:24:28,328
I don't sleep.

1446
01:24:28,536 --> 01:24:30,828
- Why not? Tell me!
- I don't know.

1447
01:24:31,453 --> 01:24:33,578
Something to do with me?

1448
01:24:34,786 --> 01:24:36,245
I want to know...

1449
01:24:36,495 --> 01:24:37,495
and I don't.

1450
01:24:37,620 --> 01:24:38,828
Here we go.

1451
01:24:43,286 --> 01:24:44,495
What's this about?

1452
01:24:45,953 --> 01:24:48,578
You don't go to your studio to work.

1453
01:24:48,870 --> 01:24:51,286
You go to your studio to fuck.

1454
01:24:51,703 --> 01:24:53,078
You're having an affair.

1455
01:24:54,078 --> 01:24:55,651
You think so?

1456
01:24:55,652 --> 01:24:56,660
Yes.

1457
01:24:56,661 --> 01:24:59,078
There are no women in my studio, alas.

1458
01:24:59,245 --> 01:25:01,911
Apart from the characters in my novel.

1459
01:25:02,078 --> 01:25:04,620
Not your novel, your notebook.

1460
01:25:05,453 --> 01:25:09,036
You forgot to put it in your briefcase,
so I took it.

1461
01:25:10,203 --> 01:25:13,078
Stupidly.
I knew I shouldn't open it.

1462
01:25:33,661 --> 01:25:36,370
You're all worked up for nothing.

1463
01:25:36,536 --> 01:25:38,453
Because you saw a few notes?

1464
01:25:38,828 --> 01:25:40,453
Not notes. They're...

1465
01:25:42,911 --> 01:25:45,078
conversations with that woman.

1466
01:25:45,245 --> 01:25:46,995
- She's imaginary!
- She isn't!

1467
01:25:47,161 --> 01:25:48,870
- She is.
- She's real.

1468
01:25:49,453 --> 01:25:51,911
She goes to your studio.

1469
01:25:52,870 --> 01:25:56,411
She's why...
for months you've been so distracted.

1470
01:25:56,578 --> 01:25:59,786
When I speak,
you can barely stay awake.

1471
01:25:59,953 --> 01:26:02,745
But the second she opens her mouth,

1472
01:26:02,995 --> 01:26:06,203
you can't help taking note
of every word.

1473
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:08,203
Which are all wonderful.

1474
01:26:12,078 --> 01:26:13,578
"An écouteur."

1475
01:26:14,120 --> 01:26:15,911
"And audiophiliac."

1476
01:26:16,078 --> 01:26:18,620
What a load of pretentious crap!

1477
01:26:18,786 --> 01:26:21,453
Maybe it's because
of the book I'm writing

1478
01:26:21,620 --> 01:26:23,828
that I'm less interested...

1479
01:26:23,995 --> 01:26:25,165
Admit it!

1480
01:26:25,166 --> 01:26:26,202
To what?

1481
01:26:26,203 --> 01:26:28,286
That you never loved me so much.

1482
01:26:28,453 --> 01:26:30,536
Because she doesn't exist!

1483
01:26:30,703 --> 01:26:33,620
If you didn't exist,
I'd love you like that too.

1484
01:26:34,995 --> 01:26:36,328
Incredible!

1485
01:26:36,495 --> 01:26:38,911
I can't believe we're arguing over this!

1486
01:26:39,411 --> 01:26:40,995
It's absurd!

1487
01:26:41,911 --> 01:26:43,411
And I suppose

1488
01:26:43,661 --> 01:26:47,161
talking to Rosalie Nichols was...

1489
01:26:47,370 --> 01:26:49,328
was imaginary too?

1490
01:26:50,620 --> 01:26:52,036
But it's true.

1491
01:26:52,453 --> 01:26:54,703
You told me you'd spoken to her.

1492
01:26:55,036 --> 01:26:59,245
For Rosalie Nichols,
I wrote some of what we said

1493
01:26:59,411 --> 01:27:01,286
and more of what we didn't

1494
01:27:01,453 --> 01:27:03,870
and that I made up.

1495
01:27:04,161 --> 01:27:06,953
I made those things up!

1496
01:27:07,620 --> 01:27:09,661
You read about my Czech friend?

1497
01:27:09,828 --> 01:27:11,411
Yes, I read it all.

1498
01:27:11,578 --> 01:27:14,286
I stupidly sat down
and read it all!

1499
01:27:14,995 --> 01:27:17,703
My Czech friend Ivan,
as crazy as he is,

1500
01:27:17,870 --> 01:27:21,078
never accused me
of sleeping with Olina!

1501
01:27:21,245 --> 01:27:22,911
It's so much better not to know.

1502
01:27:23,245 --> 01:27:25,911
No, I don't believe this melodrama.

1503
01:27:26,078 --> 01:27:27,911
You get all worked up!

1504
01:27:28,078 --> 01:27:29,411
You won't listen...

1505
01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:30,953
You dramatize everything.

1506
01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:33,370
It's you who dramatizes everything!

1507
01:27:33,578 --> 01:27:34,870
I won't explain myself.

1508
01:27:35,036 --> 01:27:38,995
Or remind you that people's voices
hold an appeal for me.

1509
01:27:39,453 --> 01:27:41,286
This notebook is proof!

1510
01:27:41,578 --> 01:27:43,745
I have imagined

1511
01:27:43,911 --> 01:27:47,328
a love story.
It's what I do all the time.

1512
01:27:47,536 --> 01:27:49,411
That notebook is a real woman.

1513
01:27:50,370 --> 01:27:53,370
That notebook is as if Tolstoy had...

1514
01:27:53,536 --> 01:27:56,203
imagined himself in love
with Anna Karenina.

1515
01:27:56,370 --> 01:27:57,452
Or Hardy with...

1516
01:27:57,453 --> 01:27:59,578
I follow my leads
where they take me!

1517
01:27:59,745 --> 01:28:02,911
Not by you or anyone
will I be censored!

1518
01:28:03,078 --> 01:28:05,745
Stop the self-righteous shtick,
don't shout.

1519
01:28:05,911 --> 01:28:07,995
I cannot be screamed at, okay?

1520
01:28:08,161 --> 01:28:09,995
You're trying to confuse me.

1521
01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:14,453
I'm trying to make you
see things straight.

1522
01:28:14,828 --> 01:28:17,661
Yes, Olina did bed down
with a Black guy.

1523
01:28:17,828 --> 01:28:19,745
And Ivan told me about it.

1524
01:28:19,911 --> 01:28:22,328
But he never accused me
of betraying him.

1525
01:28:22,495 --> 01:28:24,370
That's not how I go about it.

1526
01:28:24,578 --> 01:28:27,620
When I write,
I need to compromise myself!

1527
01:28:27,786 --> 01:28:29,745
That's what motivates me.

1528
01:28:30,036 --> 01:28:33,036
As is proved by this fucking argument!

1529
01:28:33,245 --> 01:28:35,411
And the little American loony?

1530
01:28:35,578 --> 01:28:37,703
Control yourself! Think!

1531
01:28:38,036 --> 01:28:39,536
She thinks.

1532
01:28:40,995 --> 01:28:43,120
So go think with her.

1533
01:28:43,661 --> 01:28:46,703
Okay, okay, let's get the notebook.

1534
01:28:46,870 --> 01:28:51,120
We'll sit down,
I'll explain to you line after line

1535
01:28:51,286 --> 01:28:52,453
what I've been up to,

1536
01:28:52,620 --> 01:28:55,411
supposing I'm able to understand it!

1537
01:28:58,661 --> 01:29:01,536
I'm to believe
this Englishwoman doesn't exist?

1538
01:29:01,953 --> 01:29:04,661
So how do you know the things
about English life

1539
01:29:04,828 --> 01:29:07,370
that this imaginary woman tell you?

1540
01:29:07,536 --> 01:29:11,536
Hey, it's my business to seem to know
more than I do.

1541
01:29:11,703 --> 01:29:13,411
But it's so intimate.

1542
01:29:14,328 --> 01:29:17,870
Intimacy is interesting.
It's a subject!

1543
01:29:20,370 --> 01:29:22,911
Are you going to publish the notebook?

1544
01:29:23,078 --> 01:29:25,286
I don't know.
It's occurred to me.

1545
01:29:25,453 --> 01:29:26,870
Publish it as is?

1546
01:29:27,203 --> 01:29:28,453
I said I didn't know.

1547
01:29:28,620 --> 01:29:31,411
Mightn't it be advisable
to change your name?

1548
01:29:32,245 --> 01:29:35,370
Can "Philip, an ashtray"
become "Nathan"?

1549
01:29:35,870 --> 01:29:38,578
No, Zuckerman
is my character in novels.

1550
01:29:38,745 --> 01:29:40,828
This is different.
The notebook is me.

1551
01:29:40,995 --> 01:29:42,536
You just said it's not you.

1552
01:29:42,703 --> 01:29:45,203
It's me imagining.
It's about an imagination.

1553
01:29:45,370 --> 01:29:48,578
Once published, no one will say
it's about an imagination.

1554
01:29:48,745 --> 01:29:50,911
They say my fiction
is autobiography.

1555
01:29:51,286 --> 01:29:53,328
That my autobiography
is fiction.

1556
01:29:53,495 --> 01:29:56,745
Since I'm so dumb
and they're so smart,

1557
01:29:56,911 --> 01:29:59,078
let them decide what it is.

1558
01:29:59,245 --> 01:30:00,786
Sounds like a fun game.

1559
01:30:02,495 --> 01:30:04,078
What if it humiliates me?

1560
01:30:04,411 --> 01:30:06,120
It's a game!

1561
01:30:06,370 --> 01:30:08,453
It's an impersonation of myself!

1562
01:30:08,620 --> 01:30:11,828
I ventriloquize myself,
it's homo ludens.

1563
01:30:11,995 --> 01:30:13,745
Who'd know that besides us?

1564
01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:18,286
I cannot and do not live
in a world of discretion.

1565
01:30:18,453 --> 01:30:20,578
Shame is not for novelists!

1566
01:30:20,745 --> 01:30:24,120
All you have to do is
make the wretched American say:

1567
01:30:24,328 --> 01:30:28,370
"Nathan, an ashtray" and not "Philip".
That's all I ask.

1568
01:30:29,076 --> 01:30:30,077
No.

1569
01:30:30,078 --> 01:30:31,328
- Going?
- Out!

1570
01:30:31,745 --> 01:30:34,370
Being told what to write drives me crazy!

1571
01:30:34,536 --> 01:30:36,745
Don't go out alone!
I'll come along.

1572
01:30:36,911 --> 01:30:40,328
It's over. It's gone far enough.
I can't be hounded.

1573
01:30:40,495 --> 01:30:44,161
I write what I write,
I publish however I want.

1574
01:30:44,328 --> 01:30:47,245
- Fuck what people get wrong!
- Or get right.

1575
01:30:47,411 --> 01:30:49,536
This is a notebook, not a human being!

1576
01:30:49,703 --> 01:30:53,453
You are a human being, like it or not.
So am I, so is she!

1577
01:30:53,620 --> 01:30:55,120
No, she is just words.

1578
01:30:55,286 --> 01:30:58,286
Try as I will, I cannot fuck words!

1579
01:30:59,328 --> 01:31:00,453
I'm going out.

1580
01:31:00,870 --> 01:31:01,870
Alone.

1581
01:31:07,745 --> 01:31:11,828
Epilogue.

1582
01:31:34,745 --> 01:31:36,620
Good, right on time.

1583
01:31:38,495 --> 01:31:41,495
They're preparing a table for us,

1584
01:31:41,661 --> 01:31:43,161
it's not ready yet.

1585
01:31:47,370 --> 01:31:49,620
So... how...

1586
01:31:50,203 --> 01:31:51,911
- How are you?
- How am I?

1587
01:31:52,078 --> 01:31:53,578
I'm very good.

1588
01:31:53,786 --> 01:31:55,995
And you? How are you?

1589
01:31:56,161 --> 01:31:59,370
I wanted to see you to ask
these fascinating questions.

1590
01:31:59,953 --> 01:32:01,120
So how are you?

1591
01:32:01,286 --> 01:32:04,620
Well, I'm doing very well.

1592
01:32:04,786 --> 01:32:08,370
I've tried calling,
but your number's not working.

1593
01:32:09,245 --> 01:32:11,286
What country were you calling?

1594
01:32:12,245 --> 01:32:14,620
- Your studio in England.
- I've left.

1595
01:32:14,911 --> 01:32:16,453
I'm in America for good now.

1596
01:32:17,411 --> 01:32:18,411
Listen.

1597
01:32:20,161 --> 01:32:21,411
How are you?

1598
01:32:21,953 --> 01:32:23,828
- I'm really very well.
- Great!

1599
01:32:25,578 --> 01:32:27,161
I've been thinking about you.

1600
01:32:28,161 --> 01:32:30,911
I read your book,
hesitated about calling.

1601
01:32:31,370 --> 01:32:33,786
- I thought about it a lot.
- So did I.

1602
01:32:34,120 --> 01:32:38,495
And I wondered if it had any effects

1603
01:32:39,036 --> 01:32:40,203
on your marriage.

1604
01:32:42,120 --> 01:32:43,578
He didn't read it.

1605
01:32:44,745 --> 01:32:46,203
Wonderful. Of course.

1606
01:32:46,370 --> 01:32:47,828
Your table is ready.

1607
01:32:58,411 --> 01:33:00,328
So what's new?

1608
01:33:00,661 --> 01:33:01,995
Tell me.

1609
01:33:02,161 --> 01:33:04,703
I'm fine, aren't I?

1610
01:33:04,995 --> 01:33:06,077
Yes.

1611
01:33:06,078 --> 01:33:07,786
I don't know where to start.

1612
01:33:08,245 --> 01:33:10,120
Did you hate me for not calling?

1613
01:33:10,286 --> 01:33:14,203
No, not at all.
I just thought it was a decision.

1614
01:33:15,245 --> 01:33:17,953
I think that the last time we spoke,

1615
01:33:18,953 --> 01:33:21,328
neither of us was very happy.

1616
01:33:21,911 --> 01:33:25,120
I figured you had to go your own way.

1617
01:33:25,286 --> 01:33:28,203
And I suppose I had to go mine.

1618
01:33:28,703 --> 01:33:31,495
It was two years ago,
we went our own ways.

1619
01:33:34,411 --> 01:33:35,411
Yes.

1620
01:33:35,620 --> 01:33:39,786
Well, I'm very glad you called
because I missed you a lot.

1621
01:33:40,120 --> 01:33:42,661
You said you were stopping because...

1622
01:33:42,828 --> 01:33:44,411
the love affair was over.

1623
01:33:45,245 --> 01:33:49,161
No. You said
you wanted to stop seeing me.

1624
01:33:49,495 --> 01:33:50,495
- Really?
- Yes!

1625
01:33:50,661 --> 01:33:52,286
More than once.

1626
01:33:52,703 --> 01:33:54,078
I have a good memory.

1627
01:33:54,745 --> 01:33:55,828
Indeed.

1628
01:33:56,370 --> 01:33:57,661
I was astonished.

1629
01:33:58,245 --> 01:34:01,661
Two people told me:
"I heard your voice in the book."

1630
01:34:01,953 --> 01:34:03,203
- Really?
- Yes.

1631
01:34:03,370 --> 01:34:04,453
Who said that?

1632
01:34:05,495 --> 01:34:09,078
I have friends who read literature
and listen to me.

1633
01:34:09,245 --> 01:34:11,203
You have a distinctive delivery.

1634
01:34:11,370 --> 01:34:13,703
I was in love with you for 20 reasons,

1635
01:34:13,870 --> 01:34:16,453
and that was the most beautiful one.

1636
01:34:17,453 --> 01:34:19,828
For me, it was...

1637
01:34:20,620 --> 01:34:22,953
a long, delightful,

1638
01:34:23,370 --> 01:34:26,286
finally very sad, important...

1639
01:34:26,703 --> 01:34:28,245
I'd say the same.

1640
01:34:28,578 --> 01:34:31,203
No one had ever been so appreciated.

1641
01:34:31,536 --> 01:34:33,495
I was nuts about you.

1642
01:34:34,911 --> 01:34:36,620
- Really?
- You knew it.

1643
01:34:37,286 --> 01:34:38,620
Don't turn English.

1644
01:34:39,536 --> 01:34:40,745
Well...

1645
01:34:42,495 --> 01:34:44,036
I worried a lot about you.

1646
01:34:44,203 --> 01:34:45,328
Really?

1647
01:34:49,828 --> 01:34:51,953
Should I start with the song?

1648
01:34:52,453 --> 01:34:53,828
Do you remember

1649
01:34:54,620 --> 01:34:57,661
that afternoon

1650
01:34:58,161 --> 01:35:00,620
when we tick-tick

1651
01:35:00,786 --> 01:35:02,911
we would meet up

1652
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:05,203
you and me...

1653
01:35:08,245 --> 01:35:09,370
Yes, yes.

1654
01:35:11,870 --> 01:35:14,370
By the way,
I'm not young anymore.

1655
01:35:14,911 --> 01:35:16,786
When I met you I was still young.

1656
01:35:16,953 --> 01:35:20,286
But when you hit 35,
it's suddenly all over.

1657
01:35:20,953 --> 01:35:24,203
Not all over, but...
some of it is over.

1658
01:35:24,370 --> 01:35:25,995
The glow has gone?

1659
01:35:27,911 --> 01:35:30,411
That was probably gone at 16.

1660
01:35:32,245 --> 01:35:33,578
I'm turning 37.

1661
01:35:33,745 --> 01:35:34,745
Yes...

1662
01:35:35,286 --> 01:35:38,620
I'll throw a party
in the museum dinosaur wing.

1663
01:35:38,786 --> 01:35:40,578
Great idea. Great location.

1664
01:35:40,745 --> 01:35:41,911
You're invited.

1665
01:35:42,286 --> 01:35:44,536
I don't know how to explain it,

1666
01:35:45,036 --> 01:35:48,578
I'm starting to think of myself
quite differently.

1667
01:35:48,745 --> 01:35:51,745
When you stop acting
the lively adolescent.

1668
01:35:52,995 --> 01:35:55,578
It's a difficult transition for women.

1669
01:35:55,745 --> 01:35:57,745
I didn't call you before

1670
01:35:57,995 --> 01:36:01,995
because I didn't want
to disturb your life again.

1671
01:36:03,286 --> 01:36:04,578
You and your husband,

1672
01:36:05,161 --> 01:36:06,745
you still live together?

1673
01:36:07,078 --> 01:36:09,328
We go about things decently.

1674
01:36:10,745 --> 01:36:13,828
I keep wondering
what the big problem is.

1675
01:36:14,786 --> 01:36:17,911
Obviously there are intractable problems.

1676
01:36:18,453 --> 01:36:20,453
Like loneliness.

1677
01:36:21,411 --> 01:36:23,078
I feel terribly lonely.

1678
01:36:23,620 --> 01:36:25,120
I get bored at work.

1679
01:36:25,911 --> 01:36:29,370
But besides the big problems,
I think it's all fine.

1680
01:36:30,161 --> 01:36:31,578
Do you have a lover?

1681
01:36:31,995 --> 01:36:33,536
No, no...

1682
01:36:35,605 --> 01:36:36,619
Listen,

1683
01:36:36,620 --> 01:36:40,411
I was astonished to see this character

1684
01:36:41,328 --> 01:36:42,661
so terribly passive.

1685
01:36:44,661 --> 01:36:47,161
I had no idea, insofar as it's me.

1686
01:36:47,328 --> 01:36:49,578
Insofar as it's you...

1687
01:36:50,953 --> 01:36:53,870
insofar... it's completely you.

1688
01:36:54,036 --> 01:36:56,078
Well, I'm not like that anymore.

1689
01:36:56,245 --> 01:36:57,245
Really?

1690
01:36:57,411 --> 01:36:59,161
I'm a positive person now.

1691
01:36:59,328 --> 01:37:02,203
Thank God I finished my book beforehand.

1692
01:37:02,620 --> 01:37:06,453
Positive people in books
put me straight to sleep.

1693
01:37:06,995 --> 01:37:10,745
Yes, but...
that passivity was terrifying.

1694
01:37:11,078 --> 01:37:13,120
Well, writing alters things.

1695
01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,620
I felt angry.

1696
01:37:16,536 --> 01:37:20,661
Like natives who say
photographs steal part of their souls.

1697
01:37:21,120 --> 01:37:23,078
I knew you'd be angry.

1698
01:37:24,536 --> 01:37:25,828
Very angry.

1699
01:37:28,536 --> 01:37:31,328
And when did you get over it?

1700
01:37:32,245 --> 01:37:34,161
I probably haven't.

1701
01:37:39,620 --> 01:37:42,245
God, how I've missed

1702
01:37:42,411 --> 01:37:44,286
talking to you.

1703
01:37:44,953 --> 01:37:46,620
And not taking notes?

1704
01:37:48,411 --> 01:37:49,453
Of course.

1705
01:37:50,078 --> 01:37:51,620
I've missed it too.

1706
01:37:52,661 --> 01:37:54,328
I've missed it so badly.

1707
01:37:55,828 --> 01:37:57,536
I talk to you in my head.

1708
01:37:58,161 --> 01:37:59,578
I talk to you too.

1709
01:38:00,911 --> 01:38:04,120
"Freshfield" was not a good name for me.

1710
01:38:04,745 --> 01:38:06,120
You should have consulted me.

1711
01:38:06,411 --> 01:38:10,078
It's from an English poem,
"Tomorrow to fresh woods..."

1712
01:38:10,745 --> 01:38:13,620
I got it, but it wasn't right. Too easy.

1713
01:38:14,078 --> 01:38:15,578
You haven't lost your bite.

1714
01:38:15,745 --> 01:38:17,745
So you live in America now.

1715
01:38:18,620 --> 01:38:21,203
Was it too Christian for you here?

1716
01:38:21,370 --> 01:38:22,370
True.

1717
01:38:23,828 --> 01:38:26,745
I was missing something here.
I didn't realize.

1718
01:38:26,911 --> 01:38:28,828
Really? What was that?

1719
01:38:29,495 --> 01:38:30,578
The...

1720
01:38:31,078 --> 01:38:32,245
Jews!

1721
01:38:34,161 --> 01:38:35,620
We've got some here.

1722
01:38:36,203 --> 01:38:38,745
I'm talking about Jews with guts.

1723
01:38:39,411 --> 01:38:42,828
Jews with appetite, Jews without shame.

1724
01:38:43,078 --> 01:38:46,661
Brash, angry Jews who eat
with their elbows on the table.

1725
01:38:47,036 --> 01:38:49,120
Insult, argument, impudence.

1726
01:38:49,995 --> 01:38:52,703
- Back in the bosom of the tribe.
- Exactly.

1727
01:38:53,036 --> 01:38:55,495
- Isn't it odd?
- Not very.

1728
01:38:56,161 --> 01:38:57,745
The one who's gone home.

1729
01:38:57,911 --> 01:38:59,411
You read "The Odyssey"?

1730
01:39:00,370 --> 01:39:03,578
An epic of exile and return.
What's your role?

1731
01:39:04,703 --> 01:39:05,828
Nausicaä?

1732
01:39:07,078 --> 01:39:08,120
Calypso?

1733
01:39:08,286 --> 01:39:09,328
Homer.

1734
01:39:11,953 --> 01:39:13,120
I'll write on you.

1735
01:39:13,453 --> 01:39:16,786
Hurry up,
I may write a second one on you.

1736
01:39:16,953 --> 01:39:18,328
You wouldn't do that.

1737
01:39:19,620 --> 01:39:20,870
Would you?

1738
01:39:21,161 --> 01:39:22,411
You'd dare?

1739
01:39:22,870 --> 01:39:24,536
Of course I would.

1740
01:39:24,870 --> 01:39:27,495
This conversation
will be part of it.

1741
01:39:27,661 --> 01:39:30,370
You'd be scraping
the bottom of the barrel.

1742
01:39:30,536 --> 01:39:32,286
Don't underestimate yourself.

1743
01:39:33,120 --> 01:39:35,453
You were a great barrel.

1744
01:39:36,203 --> 01:39:38,411
- For me, you were.
- Was I?

1745
01:39:39,620 --> 01:39:41,661
I was so angry for months.

1746
01:39:43,286 --> 01:39:47,453
I was torn because after I read it,
I couldn't be angry.

1747
01:39:48,036 --> 01:39:49,120
Why was that?

1748
01:39:49,286 --> 01:39:50,453
Because...

1749
01:39:52,786 --> 01:39:55,203
because it was so tender,

1750
01:39:55,745 --> 01:39:56,870
I think.

1751
01:39:57,620 --> 01:39:59,245
Unless I got it wrong.

1752
01:40:03,453 --> 01:40:04,786
You didn't get it wrong.

1753
01:40:20,911 --> 01:40:22,661
Good evening, ma'am.