1 00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:27,846 This holiday season, 2 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,880 show your loved ones that you really care 3 00:00:29,915 --> 00:00:32,880 by getting them the gift that they've always wanted. 4 00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,880 Whoa, dad! Really?! 5 00:00:35,915 --> 00:00:37,466 Yes! 6 00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:39,259 Is there anything else? Wow. 7 00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:41,811 Slim jenko! This is just what I wanted! 8 00:00:41,846 --> 00:00:43,880 I want some! 9 00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:45,742 We can all have some. 10 00:00:45,777 --> 00:00:48,190 We here at slim jenko pride ourselves 11 00:00:48,225 --> 00:00:51,225 on delivering a rich, flavorful malt beverage 12 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,777 for the entire family. 13 00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:55,570 Make us part of your holiday tradition. 14 00:00:55,604 --> 00:00:57,880 This Friday night at midnight on channel 83. 15 00:00:57,915 --> 00:00:59,880 - Mommy! - Lester. 16 00:00:59,915 --> 00:01:01,501 Lester, what are you doing? 17 00:01:01,535 --> 00:01:04,501 "Killed on Christmas: The Lester lord stor..." 18 00:01:09,363 --> 00:01:13,156 Wolncluding a regulation busting 2,500 milligrams 19 00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:14,742 of pure thc. 20 00:01:14,777 --> 00:01:16,570 Kunz Christmas creampies, 21 00:01:16,604 --> 00:01:19,363 an established cream pie professional for over 50... 22 00:01:19,397 --> 00:01:21,708 The U.S. defense department has spent over 23 00:01:21,742 --> 00:01:24,604 a trillion dollars on the most cutting edge robot technology, 24 00:01:24,639 --> 00:01:27,742 deployed overseas for a swift victory against america's 25 00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:31,259 deadliest enemies, and now sowell robotic products 26 00:01:31,294 --> 00:01:34,742 is here to make that technology fun for the entire family. 27 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,190 Ho. Ho. Ho. 28 00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,880 Introducing robosanta plus 29 00:01:40,915 --> 00:01:42,604 for the upcoming holiday season, 30 00:01:42,639 --> 00:01:45,466 with a vocabulary of over 90,000 words, 31 00:01:45,501 --> 00:01:46,846 a full range of motion, 32 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,811 and built with military grade construction, 33 00:01:48,846 --> 00:01:51,777 robosanta plus fully replaces your local degenerate 34 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,777 mall Santa, keeping you and your children safe. 35 00:01:54,811 --> 00:01:58,190 Exclusively this weekend 36 00:01:58,225 --> 00:02:03,639 at midland mall and gw bonkers. 37 00:02:28,777 --> 00:02:32,363 ♪ I am the yule tide cold 38 00:02:32,397 --> 00:02:35,363 ♪ leave the winter closed 39 00:02:35,984 --> 00:02:39,328 ♪ like hive of holy 40 00:02:39,363 --> 00:02:42,570 ♪ well, I dream of you 41 00:02:42,604 --> 00:02:46,225 ♪ nothing is 42 00:02:46,259 --> 00:02:49,328 ♪ and the slick 43 00:02:49,363 --> 00:02:53,156 ♪ to not peak at your breast, love ♪ 44 00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:57,397 ♪ Before the devil reigns 45 00:02:57,432 --> 00:02:59,570 Thanks for coming in, guys. 46 00:02:59,604 --> 00:03:02,466 Thank you. Have a good one. 47 00:03:02,501 --> 00:03:04,846 Oh, shit! 48 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,673 Hi. 49 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,673 You look amazing. 50 00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:11,501 Hey, let me know if you need anything. 51 00:03:11,535 --> 00:03:13,535 Hey, it's almost 7:00, so I'm going to start 52 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:15,190 closing up out back. You got it? 53 00:03:15,225 --> 00:03:17,259 - Yeah. - Oh, can you put this away? 54 00:03:17,294 --> 00:03:18,949 - Sure. - Thank you. 55 00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:20,190 - Hey! - Oh, shit. 56 00:03:20,225 --> 00:03:21,708 - Merry Christmas. - Hi. 57 00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,373 It's about time you show your fucking face around here. 58 00:03:23,397 --> 00:03:24,615 Yeah, I've been busy. You guys are swamped. 59 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,225 I know, I know. 60 00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:27,787 I thought you and lahna were closing tonight. 61 00:03:27,811 --> 00:03:30,294 Yeah, no, I told her I had to run home because I, um... 62 00:03:30,328 --> 00:03:31,570 Didn't get her gift. 63 00:03:31,604 --> 00:03:33,156 - I did get her a gift. - Oh, did you? 64 00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,546 But I'm now second guessing it, so now I'm going 65 00:03:34,570 --> 00:03:35,960 - to get some records. - Oh, yeah, you should be 66 00:03:35,984 --> 00:03:37,442 second guessing this. She has both of these. 67 00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:38,915 - She does. - She does. Yeah. 68 00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:40,673 Uh, follow me. Come on. 69 00:03:40,708 --> 00:03:42,639 You guys been together for, what, like a year? 70 00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:44,328 How are you this fucking dumb? 71 00:03:44,363 --> 00:03:46,166 No, I'm not... it's... I can't tell the difference 72 00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:48,432 between all these bands that the logos all look the same. 73 00:03:48,466 --> 00:03:50,201 - They all look the fucking same? - They all look the same. 74 00:03:50,225 --> 00:03:52,166 - All scratchy and weird. - Yeah, they kind of do. 75 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,777 Uh, all right, so what I'm going to show you now... yes. 76 00:03:55,811 --> 00:03:58,156 We saw these guys open at a festival this summer. 77 00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:01,639 She was fucking all over it. They've got the psychedelic, 78 00:04:01,673 --> 00:04:03,259 cosmic riff. She'll fucking love it. 79 00:04:03,294 --> 00:04:04,501 - Deathcrux? - Yeah. 80 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:05,915 Okay. And she does not have this? 81 00:04:05,949 --> 00:04:07,501 - She does not have this. - Right on. 82 00:04:07,535 --> 00:04:08,856 - You're welcome. - Yes. No, thank you, Tori. 83 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,742 Thank you. You saved Christmas again. 84 00:04:10,777 --> 00:04:14,639 By the way, I will come and say merry Christmas 85 00:04:14,673 --> 00:04:16,294 - to Lauren. - Sounds good. 86 00:04:16,328 --> 00:04:17,960 But just don't tell her I showed up here, okay? 87 00:04:17,984 --> 00:04:19,856 - What are you talking about? - Don't do the whole thing you do 88 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,408 - when you're like... - "oh, my god, it's so good 89 00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:23,363 - to see you. - No, yeah, don't do that. 90 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,501 - Okay, bye. - Okay. 91 00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:25,846 - Robbie. - Hey, bro. 92 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,442 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, man. 93 00:04:27,466 --> 00:04:30,294 ♪ Bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 94 00:04:30,328 --> 00:04:33,190 ♪ Bloody Christmas, bloody Christmas ♪ 95 00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:38,190 Fuck yeah. Almost 2 grand. 96 00:04:38,225 --> 00:04:41,501 - Yeah, that's a big day. - Does that mean a big boy bonus? 97 00:04:41,535 --> 00:04:44,225 - Means a bonus, yeah. - Fuck yeah, dawg! 98 00:04:44,259 --> 00:04:46,742 What are you going to do with your big bonus? 99 00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:48,225 You got any plans? 100 00:04:48,259 --> 00:04:49,477 Well, the talent show is at 8:00 P.M. 101 00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,190 - So, no, not really. - Yeah. 102 00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:52,891 What are you going to do this fine Christmas Eve? 103 00:04:52,915 --> 00:04:57,811 I was potentially going to go meet up with a dude, 104 00:04:57,846 --> 00:04:59,846 but I don't know. 105 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,466 - A dude, a man. - Yep. 106 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,822 Okay, on Christmas Eve, you're going to invite 107 00:05:02,846 --> 00:05:04,570 a stranger to your house. 108 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,822 Uh, a stranger to Reggie's, yeah. 109 00:05:05,846 --> 00:05:07,397 Okay, cool. Fuck, they're still open. 110 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,166 Did you meet him organically, 111 00:05:09,190 --> 00:05:10,684 or is this, like, a tinder sort of scenario? 112 00:05:10,708 --> 00:05:13,604 - Tinder situation, yeah. - Oh, tinder, okay. 113 00:05:13,639 --> 00:05:14,880 - Yeah. - Can I see him? 114 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,639 - Eh. - Eh. He must be a fucking stud. 115 00:05:17,673 --> 00:05:19,225 What the fuck else am I supposed to do? 116 00:05:19,259 --> 00:05:21,673 You want me to go home, drink some whiskey, 117 00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:24,604 sit by the fire by my lonesome, watch "a Christmas story" 118 00:05:24,639 --> 00:05:27,535 like every other fucking douchebag in america? 119 00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:29,328 Yeah. Sounds kind of nice. 120 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:32,328 Or you to go to drink some whiskey with me. 121 00:05:32,363 --> 00:05:33,615 Uh, that lahna's Christmas gift. 122 00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:35,156 - Is it? - So you can put a fuckin'... 123 00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,856 - No longer. - What the fuck are you doing? 124 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,466 So, fuck no. 125 00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:39,777 I wanted to do that, too. 126 00:05:39,811 --> 00:05:42,156 So hand me some cups, and let's go. 127 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:44,190 Are you gonna go see your pops up north tomorrow? 128 00:05:44,225 --> 00:05:45,604 - Yeah. - You should probably get 129 00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:47,270 - a head start late tonight. - No. Fuck that. 130 00:05:47,294 --> 00:05:48,604 One day, in and out, is my rule. 131 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,190 I can't see anything wrong in that. 132 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,535 - Fair enough. - Mazel tov. 133 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:55,397 Mazel tov. Cheers, motherfucker. 134 00:05:55,432 --> 00:05:57,156 Only quit stalling. Show me Tommy tinder. 135 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,156 What the fuck is your obsession with this? 136 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,615 - I want to see him. - I don't want to 137 00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:01,891 - show him to you. - Is he big? Is he a big boy? 138 00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,363 - Oh. - Bbw. 139 00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:04,753 - That what you want to know? - Yeah. 140 00:06:04,777 --> 00:06:07,742 In that case, I'll fuckin' show you. Here. 141 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,639 What? 142 00:06:11,673 --> 00:06:13,501 I didn't know you knew Emmett eyeliner. 143 00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:15,570 Emmett eyeliner. Why are you calling him that? 144 00:06:15,604 --> 00:06:16,960 - Do you know him? - I know of him. 145 00:06:16,984 --> 00:06:18,604 Did he tell you he got, like, three kids? 146 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,328 Wait four. Someone's pregnant now, I think. 147 00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:22,673 - Oh, fuck! He's got kids? - Yeah. 148 00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:24,363 I don't fucking care. 149 00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:26,742 I just want a little Christmas Eve schlong. 150 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:29,363 Well, dude's a genic jackhammer. 151 00:06:29,397 --> 00:06:31,535 - Oh, Jesus. - Little, uh, sperm canon, 152 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,328 all I'm saying. 153 00:06:33,363 --> 00:06:35,546 Okay, I'm happy you told me that, so I'll wear my dental dam 154 00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:37,673 and get fucking sauced before he shows up. 155 00:06:37,708 --> 00:06:39,604 Thank you. That's so sweet of you. 156 00:06:39,639 --> 00:06:40,649 Well, I'll tell you what. 157 00:06:40,673 --> 00:06:42,156 I can go to Reggie's with you 158 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:44,501 because, um, I don't really have shit to do. 159 00:06:44,535 --> 00:06:46,742 Robbie, that's very, very sweet of you, 160 00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:47,949 but I want to get laid. 161 00:06:47,984 --> 00:06:49,708 Not wax poetic with the regulars. 162 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:52,604 Well, seeing as you didn't buy me a Christmas present 163 00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:54,466 this year, I'm going to take this. 164 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:55,846 - Oh. - Thank you. 165 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,673 And you can enjoy your, what, two hours 166 00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:01,880 of unbearable conversation, your 7 seconds of lame sex. 167 00:07:01,915 --> 00:07:05,949 You go home, probably, you know, get yourself off anyway. 168 00:07:05,984 --> 00:07:07,639 Or, I'm just throwing this out there, 169 00:07:07,673 --> 00:07:12,363 you can have two hours of amazing, vivacious, 170 00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:16,294 sort of hauntingly erotic conversation. 171 00:07:16,328 --> 00:07:18,156 - Hauntingly erotic? - Hauntingly erotic? 172 00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:19,880 And you can go home anyway. 173 00:07:19,915 --> 00:07:22,673 You know, get yourself off, like, flick your little bean. 174 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,501 - Oh? - Yeah. 175 00:07:24,535 --> 00:07:26,649 And you don't have to wake up next to 30 seconds to Mars. 176 00:07:26,673 --> 00:07:28,880 All right, well, I've got a proposition for you. 177 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,742 How about you give me back my fucking whiskey 178 00:07:30,777 --> 00:07:34,466 and stop talking about me flicking at my fucking bean? 179 00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:35,604 - Okay. - How about that? 180 00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:37,328 Have you confirmed with him? 181 00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:40,156 No, I have not given him a time. 182 00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:41,753 Poor guy. It's kind of sad. He's probably at home 183 00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:44,742 scrolling through your social media, fingers sweaty, 184 00:07:44,777 --> 00:07:47,777 hand firmly on cock, just... 185 00:07:47,811 --> 00:07:49,535 Beating that meat, waiting for your text 186 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,846 to pop up at the top. 187 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,604 Mm. I've blown off twice already, so. 188 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,156 - Third time's a charm. - Yeah. 189 00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:57,777 Come on, get a drink with your old pal Robbie. 190 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,949 It's my long time employee Robbie. 191 00:08:00,984 --> 00:08:03,363 - That's a little bit harsh. - It's true. I own you. 192 00:08:03,397 --> 00:08:04,822 - You own me? - You're on my payroll. Yeah. 193 00:08:04,846 --> 00:08:06,811 Mama. Okay. Okay. Okay. 194 00:08:06,846 --> 00:08:09,949 I'm going to change your mind. Have you heard his music? 195 00:08:09,984 --> 00:08:12,880 - I have not bothered, no. - Oh, that answers a lot. 196 00:08:12,915 --> 00:08:14,501 Why? What you got? 197 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:15,856 I'll show you something something fun. 198 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,294 Hmm. 199 00:08:17,328 --> 00:08:19,259 All right. Ready? 200 00:08:19,294 --> 00:08:21,328 I'm losing interest already. Come on. 201 00:08:21,363 --> 00:08:22,673 Alright, you'll see. 202 00:08:22,708 --> 00:08:24,166 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 203 00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:26,742 What? 204 00:08:27,984 --> 00:08:29,742 - Oh, my god. - Soothing. 205 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,477 Shut the fuck up. Why is he whisper singing? 206 00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:32,925 Doesn't want to wake his parents, probably. 207 00:08:32,949 --> 00:08:34,328 What the fuck? Turn that off. 208 00:08:34,363 --> 00:08:35,880 Why are you showing that to me? Stop. 209 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,546 Well, you know, it's not like you're going to saddle up 210 00:08:37,570 --> 00:08:39,408 with the son of a bitch. I mean, you should probably 211 00:08:39,432 --> 00:08:42,466 let the guy go back to his family and his kids. 212 00:08:42,501 --> 00:08:43,880 He's a daddy, after all. 213 00:08:43,915 --> 00:08:45,363 - Daddy? - Yeah. 214 00:08:45,397 --> 00:08:48,535 Little Tommy tinder. 215 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,328 Well... 216 00:08:52,501 --> 00:08:53,787 All right. Let's go get shit faced. 217 00:08:53,811 --> 00:08:55,535 But you're not getting anything either. 218 00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:57,201 So if you want to go flick your fucking bean, 219 00:08:57,225 --> 00:08:58,397 do what you need to do. 220 00:08:58,432 --> 00:08:59,949 - Come on. - All right. 221 00:08:59,984 --> 00:09:01,580 - Turn off the music. - Well, considering you were 222 00:09:01,604 --> 00:09:02,960 gonna saddle up with old Emmett eyeliner, 223 00:09:02,984 --> 00:09:04,708 I'm not sure how I should feel about that. 224 00:09:04,742 --> 00:09:06,580 Well, I don't work with them Emmett eyeliner, do I? 225 00:09:06,604 --> 00:09:08,235 Well, I am better looking in that douche, though, right? 226 00:09:08,259 --> 00:09:09,604 Do you want to fucking die? 227 00:09:09,639 --> 00:09:11,339 Get your fucking grubby shoes off the counter. 228 00:09:11,363 --> 00:09:14,639 Kill the music before I change my mind. 229 00:09:14,673 --> 00:09:16,856 - Should I meet you there or? - No, we're going to walk. 230 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:21,397 - Well, it's fucking snowing out. - Oh, my god. That's so scary! 231 00:09:21,432 --> 00:09:23,363 Come on. Get those chicken legs out. 232 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,466 Let's go for a walk. I got to bring this to lahna. 233 00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:27,442 Why? They close at 6:00. They're not going to be open. 234 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:28,915 No, they'll still be there. 235 00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:30,949 They're having a little Christmas Eve fuckfest. 236 00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:32,535 What the hell, why? 237 00:09:32,570 --> 00:09:34,270 You don't want to fuck in a toy store? 238 00:09:34,294 --> 00:09:36,432 No. Well, mm, maybe. I mean... 239 00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:37,960 Sounds like you don't want to fuck in a toy store. 240 00:09:37,984 --> 00:09:40,294 It's just kind of weird. Like, I feel sorry for the kid 241 00:09:40,328 --> 00:09:42,270 that's going to go in tomorrow, buy a Teddy bear covered 242 00:09:42,294 --> 00:09:43,708 - in fucking cum. - Oh, my god. 243 00:09:43,742 --> 00:09:45,466 We're going to scar him. That poor child. 244 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,846 Come on. Lock up behind you. 245 00:09:54,742 --> 00:09:56,190 Robbie: We could have taken my car. 246 00:09:56,225 --> 00:09:57,535 Would have been a smart option. 247 00:09:57,570 --> 00:09:59,535 Do you want to keep keep complaining? 248 00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:01,225 Or do you want to just walk in silence? 249 00:10:01,259 --> 00:10:02,684 - What do you want to do? - You're the one who was 250 00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:04,708 complaining all day about fucking Christmas this, 251 00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:06,166 Christmas that, oh, I fucking hate Christmas. 252 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,811 Well, Christmas fucking sucks. 253 00:10:07,846 --> 00:10:10,363 Do you not agree that there's no good fucking Christmas music, 254 00:10:10,397 --> 00:10:12,639 - no good Christmas movies. - Bad religion had 255 00:10:12,673 --> 00:10:14,787 - a great Christmas album. - Just fucking get it over with. 256 00:10:14,811 --> 00:10:16,708 - Eh. - It was good. 257 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:19,604 There aren't many albums that give me that spirit 258 00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:20,949 of fucking Christmas. 259 00:10:20,984 --> 00:10:22,777 Well, bad fuckin' religion, ain't it, buddy. 260 00:10:22,811 --> 00:10:24,432 Give me that. 261 00:10:24,466 --> 00:10:30,259 I would go as far to say there's like fucking two... 262 00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:32,156 Two Christmas songs that are good, 263 00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:35,639 and that's if you don't count, if and only if, you don't count 264 00:10:35,673 --> 00:10:37,673 fucking crypt keeper "Christmas rap." 265 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,225 Okay, love "tales from the crypt." 266 00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,225 That song sucks the fucking shit out of my ass. 267 00:10:41,259 --> 00:10:44,811 This is coming from a guy who jizzes his fucking pants 268 00:10:44,846 --> 00:10:48,949 every single time he hears buster Poindexter's cover of 269 00:10:48,984 --> 00:10:50,915 "zat you, Santa claus?" 270 00:10:50,949 --> 00:10:52,822 No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like that cover. 271 00:10:52,846 --> 00:10:54,432 I like the version with the commentary 272 00:10:54,466 --> 00:10:56,294 from beavis and butthead. 273 00:10:56,328 --> 00:10:58,466 - Okay. - Okay. 274 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,190 "Merry Christmas", ramones, then. 275 00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:02,466 That's mine. What's your big fucking runner up? 276 00:11:02,501 --> 00:11:07,501 Uh, sorry to say, but "merry Christmas", ramones, 277 00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:09,294 that's a fucking runner up. 278 00:11:09,328 --> 00:11:10,466 - Yeah. - Fuck you. 279 00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:11,742 - First place... - Fuck you. 280 00:11:11,777 --> 00:11:13,397 First place is our lord and savior lemmy 281 00:11:13,432 --> 00:11:15,639 with "run Rudolph run." Oh, it's magic! 282 00:11:15,673 --> 00:11:17,339 Okay. It's not like it's motorhead. 283 00:11:17,363 --> 00:11:18,787 It's lemmy with the fucking Foo Fighters. 284 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,949 - Oh, r.I.P. - Oh, r.I.P. 285 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,328 Also lemmy is fucking motorhead, you idiot. 286 00:11:23,363 --> 00:11:24,397 Yeah. 287 00:11:24,432 --> 00:11:25,639 Hey! 288 00:11:25,673 --> 00:11:28,363 Lahna! 289 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,811 She knows you're coming, right? 290 00:11:29,846 --> 00:11:31,742 Yeah, of course she knows I'm fucking coming. 291 00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:33,294 Oh. 292 00:11:33,328 --> 00:11:35,190 - Hey, bitch. - Hi! 293 00:11:35,225 --> 00:11:36,639 Mwah! You look so good. 294 00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:37,684 - Thank you. - Hey, gorgeous. 295 00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,397 - Mwah. - Mwah. 296 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,777 I brought you and Jay a little something, something. 297 00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:44,397 Ooh, I got you this. 298 00:11:44,432 --> 00:11:45,649 Oh, my god. I love you so much. 299 00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,501 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. 300 00:11:47,535 --> 00:11:48,846 Where's Jay? 301 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,880 He's in the back, freshening up. 302 00:11:50,915 --> 00:11:53,639 You know, he just gets a little musty. 303 00:11:53,673 --> 00:11:55,708 He gets a little musty? 304 00:11:55,742 --> 00:11:57,304 - You got a lot going on. - Musty she says. 305 00:11:57,328 --> 00:11:58,856 Yeah, you know all about that, right? 306 00:11:58,880 --> 00:11:59,925 - No, I do. - You know all about that? 307 00:11:59,949 --> 00:12:01,535 - Baby. - Yeah. 308 00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:02,753 You know all about a little musty must? 309 00:12:02,777 --> 00:12:04,432 I got a stinky dick. 310 00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:06,673 - That's so fucked up. - Cute, right? 311 00:12:06,708 --> 00:12:08,156 - Bitch. - Yeah? 312 00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:09,777 You already cracked this open. 313 00:12:09,811 --> 00:12:12,501 We may have had, like, like a couple of drinks. 314 00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:15,846 This is the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. 315 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,156 I know. I know. It's very nice. And listen. 316 00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:19,822 Because we love you. We didn't buy it for you. 317 00:12:19,846 --> 00:12:21,949 We're giving it to you. 318 00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:24,535 - Well, merry fucking Christmas. - Merry fucking Christmas. 319 00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:27,432 - Baby! - On it. Jesus Christ! 320 00:12:27,466 --> 00:12:28,639 - Hey! - This motherfucker. 321 00:12:28,673 --> 00:12:29,880 I haven't seen you in so long. 322 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,570 - How are you? - Oh, yeah. Right? 323 00:12:31,604 --> 00:12:33,225 - How are you? - Hey, bro. 324 00:12:33,259 --> 00:12:34,580 - Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 325 00:12:34,604 --> 00:12:36,190 - You look good. - Thank you. 326 00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:37,753 - Yeah, you do. - I've been doing nothing but 327 00:12:37,777 --> 00:12:40,397 selling toys and fucking living the clean life. 328 00:12:40,432 --> 00:12:42,156 Keep up. 329 00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:45,294 Oh! Um, what's up with you two? What's going on here? 330 00:12:45,328 --> 00:12:47,270 - Uh, just grabbing a drink. - Just grabbing a drink. 331 00:12:47,294 --> 00:12:48,753 I had to talk her out of some tinder trash. 332 00:12:48,777 --> 00:12:50,225 You didn't talk me out of anything. 333 00:12:50,259 --> 00:12:51,511 What was his name? Emmett... Emmett... 334 00:12:51,535 --> 00:12:52,856 - We don't have to talk... - Emmett! Oh, shit! 335 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,397 No, I think we're ignoring that. 336 00:12:54,432 --> 00:12:55,684 Motherfuckin' four-kid Emmett. Four kid Emmett? 337 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,259 - No. - Nearly five kid Emmett. 338 00:12:57,294 --> 00:12:58,546 Four kid Emmett. Why does everybody know Emmett 339 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,225 - except for me? - He's got four kids. 340 00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,156 - All right. Well, cheers. Yeah. - No, no, no. 341 00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:03,753 What was the song? What was the song? It was... 342 00:13:03,777 --> 00:13:05,294 We don't need the song. 343 00:13:05,328 --> 00:13:08,156 ♪ And her heart whispers in my head ♪ 344 00:13:08,190 --> 00:13:09,718 - Alright, fuckers. - Go for it, tap on in. 345 00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:10,949 ♪ Because she's half dead 346 00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:12,811 - Tori! - No, no, no, no. 347 00:13:12,846 --> 00:13:14,535 Come back, come back, come back, come back. 348 00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:15,925 - Come back, come back. - Alright, you guys, I'm back. 349 00:13:15,949 --> 00:13:17,477 - It's a catchy song. - It's a good song. 350 00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:18,546 It's the feel good hit of the winter. 351 00:13:18,570 --> 00:13:19,673 - Okay, cheers. - Cheers. 352 00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,363 - To Christmas! - To Christmas! 353 00:13:21,397 --> 00:13:23,225 - Bah humbug. - Bah humbug. 354 00:13:23,259 --> 00:13:24,432 Ho, ho, ho. 355 00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:26,294 Come sit on Santa's lap 356 00:13:26,328 --> 00:13:28,639 and tell him what you want for Christmas. 357 00:13:28,673 --> 00:13:30,328 Ugh! 358 00:13:30,363 --> 00:13:33,639 - I fucking hate that. - No, they all get recalled. 359 00:13:33,673 --> 00:13:35,742 Priest said that to me when I was a young boy. 360 00:13:35,777 --> 00:13:38,846 Are you okay? You're not fucking okay. 361 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,604 - No, I'm not well. - It's so bad. 362 00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:42,501 Thank god they're taking it out on Friday. 363 00:13:42,535 --> 00:13:44,580 Has he ever come to life while you guys were fucking? 364 00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:45,880 Oh, he joins. 365 00:13:45,915 --> 00:13:47,328 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 366 00:13:47,363 --> 00:13:48,880 - He's anatomical. - Oh, really? 367 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,708 - Big bad Santa. - Okay. 368 00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,225 - Big Santa. - But I am hoping that they 369 00:13:53,259 --> 00:13:54,304 leave behind this aspect of it. 370 00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:55,397 What? 371 00:13:56,708 --> 00:14:00,846 - Oh! - Oh, baby, it's so romantic! 372 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,328 Okay, we're getting the fuck out of here. 373 00:14:03,363 --> 00:14:04,511 This is too much Christmas for me. 374 00:14:04,535 --> 00:14:06,949 - Oh, no, no. - No, no, no, stay, stay. 375 00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:10,915 Stop! I fuckin'... that's a lot. That is a lot. 376 00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:13,742 It's really excessive. We're gonna have one drink and go. 377 00:14:13,777 --> 00:14:15,432 - All right. Yeah, fine. - Fine. 378 00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:17,190 We could just... You guys hang out. 379 00:14:17,225 --> 00:14:18,822 - We could have some more drinks. - We're not going to hang out. 380 00:14:18,846 --> 00:14:20,373 - The four of us. - We're not gonna hang out. 381 00:14:20,397 --> 00:14:21,925 - Santa, the anatomical Santa. - We're good. 382 00:14:21,949 --> 00:14:23,363 - Okay, alright. - Alright. 383 00:14:23,397 --> 00:14:24,742 - Easy, tiger. - Alright. 384 00:14:24,777 --> 00:14:26,328 - Cheers. - Cheers. 385 00:14:26,363 --> 00:14:28,639 Fuck. Merry Christmas to a fuckin' day off. 386 00:14:28,673 --> 00:14:30,501 - Little bit of flavor in there. - Yeah. 387 00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:32,673 - Mm. - Okay, I love you. 388 00:14:32,708 --> 00:14:34,501 Get the fuck out. I want to fuck my husband. 389 00:14:34,535 --> 00:14:35,811 - Mwah. - Merry Christmas. 390 00:14:35,846 --> 00:14:36,949 - Merry Christmas. - Bye. 391 00:14:36,984 --> 00:14:38,294 - See you. - See you. 392 00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:39,408 - See ya, bud. - All right. We're going. 393 00:14:39,432 --> 00:14:40,328 - Goodbye. - See ya. 394 00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:43,915 ♪ Oh, she's whispering in my head ♪ 395 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,880 Fucking hate you guys! 396 00:14:45,915 --> 00:14:47,811 ♪ I'm half deaf for you 397 00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,811 I'm stealing your candy. Thank you. 398 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,811 - Come on, let's go. - Ugh! 399 00:14:52,846 --> 00:14:54,363 Let's fucking go. 400 00:14:54,397 --> 00:14:55,777 - God! - Come on! 401 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,880 Coming. I'm coming. 402 00:14:57,915 --> 00:15:02,225 Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. 403 00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,742 Sowell robotic products' new animatronic 404 00:15:09,777 --> 00:15:11,777 state of the art Santa claus featured at our own 405 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,925 t.w. Bonkers is now the subject of an international recall. 406 00:15:13,949 --> 00:15:15,787 There have been reports that some of the Santa units 407 00:15:15,811 --> 00:15:18,156 are reverting to their old defense department firmware. 408 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,811 Thus far, most of the reports have been of harmless pranks. 409 00:15:20,846 --> 00:15:23,604 Fuck no! 410 00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:25,190 Larry, can you turn that shit off? 411 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,673 - That's so depressing. - Yeah. 412 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,156 You guys want one more 413 00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:29,294 to close it out? 414 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:30,811 Yeah, we will. 415 00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,684 Can we get another round and a shot of whiskey, please? 416 00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:34,615 You're going to chase a shot of whiskey with more whiskey? 417 00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:36,604 I am. It's a holiday. That's what you do. 418 00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,501 - This is true. - Thank you. 419 00:15:38,535 --> 00:15:41,294 Is this, uh, together? Or separate? 420 00:15:41,328 --> 00:15:43,777 Togeth... together. 421 00:15:43,811 --> 00:15:45,259 It's on one bill. I got it. 422 00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:46,822 - Oh, la di da. - It's part of your bonus. 423 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,466 Although I am a little disappointed. 424 00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:51,777 He didn't even offer to pay for the fuckin' last... 425 00:15:51,811 --> 00:15:53,432 Excuse me, this is not a date, remember? 426 00:15:53,466 --> 00:15:55,604 Yeah, no, I fuckin' remember now. 427 00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:57,156 Happy I didn't think otherwise. 428 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,259 - Fun hangout - yeah. 429 00:15:58,294 --> 00:15:59,708 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 430 00:15:59,742 --> 00:16:02,225 You think would have picked up the tab for, uh, 431 00:16:02,259 --> 00:16:05,225 doctor fuckin' Emmett eyeliner. 432 00:16:05,259 --> 00:16:06,811 Depends on how the night went. 433 00:16:06,846 --> 00:16:08,960 Probably would have forgotten his wallet or something. 434 00:16:08,984 --> 00:16:11,777 Mnh-mnh. Did this dude fuck your mom or something? 435 00:16:11,811 --> 00:16:14,432 Why the fuck... every single time you talk about him, 436 00:16:14,466 --> 00:16:15,949 I'm like so close to forgetting him, 437 00:16:15,984 --> 00:16:17,397 and then you bring him up again. 438 00:16:17,432 --> 00:16:18,891 I'm just like, just like, it baffles me 439 00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:20,339 that you were going to let him, like, you know, 440 00:16:20,363 --> 00:16:21,787 - stick his penis just... - Taint me? 441 00:16:21,811 --> 00:16:23,339 - Inside you. - He's gonna fuckin' taint me? 442 00:16:23,363 --> 00:16:24,718 - He was gonna taint you. - Yeah, I'm horny, 443 00:16:24,742 --> 00:16:26,502 and it's a holiday. What am I supposed to do? 444 00:16:26,535 --> 00:16:28,949 Do you want to go through... Larry, do you want to go through 445 00:16:28,984 --> 00:16:30,639 Robbie's list of prize catches? 446 00:16:30,673 --> 00:16:32,190 - Not again. - 'Cause fuckin'... 447 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,718 No, remember this? Remember rotten Rebecca? 448 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,201 The one that smelled like a fucking fish market. 449 00:16:35,225 --> 00:16:36,915 - Oh, god. - She was great. 450 00:16:36,949 --> 00:16:38,477 Yeah, had to walk out of the room every time... 451 00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:40,225 - Rotten Rebecca. - Every time she fucking 452 00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:41,294 walked in one. 453 00:16:41,328 --> 00:16:42,639 Oh, my god. 454 00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:44,294 That honestly made me want to throw up. 455 00:16:44,328 --> 00:16:45,432 That was so gross. 456 00:16:45,466 --> 00:16:46,604 Who else? Come on. 457 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,225 Do you want to talk about Tina? 458 00:16:48,259 --> 00:16:50,742 - Tina? - Googly eyed Tina? 459 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,477 Do you want me to keep going? That's my point. 460 00:16:52,501 --> 00:16:53,960 - That was a condition. - Do you want me to keep going? 461 00:16:53,984 --> 00:16:55,673 - She couldn't help it. - Okay. 462 00:16:55,708 --> 00:16:58,225 - She's a beautiful woman. - Can you shut the fuck up? 463 00:16:58,259 --> 00:16:59,442 Okay, babe, no, seriously. 464 00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:01,294 He's been her employee for years. 465 00:17:01,328 --> 00:17:03,225 One, I think it's illegal if they fuck. 466 00:17:03,259 --> 00:17:05,846 And two, he'll never close the deal. 467 00:17:08,708 --> 00:17:10,880 She had that glow in her eyes. 468 00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:12,856 Okay, okay, fine. No, she fucking might have. 469 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,339 But he won't even come close to closing the deal. 470 00:17:14,363 --> 00:17:15,742 - What? - Not at all. 471 00:17:15,777 --> 00:17:18,604 1,000 percent they're fucking tonight. 472 00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:21,259 - Fuck that. - Unless Robbie's dick 473 00:17:21,294 --> 00:17:24,639 gets chopped up, they're gonna fuck tonight. 474 00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:26,949 What are you fuck... Fuck that. Okay. All right. 475 00:17:26,984 --> 00:17:28,535 - You want him bet? - Yeah. 476 00:17:29,811 --> 00:17:31,363 Okay, great, great, great, great. 477 00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:32,649 Alright, how much you fucking want to bet then? 478 00:17:32,673 --> 00:17:33,925 Are you ever going to settle down, 479 00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:35,639 you know, chill the fuck out. 480 00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:36,639 Are you? 481 00:17:36,673 --> 00:17:38,259 - Yeah. - Yeah? 482 00:17:38,294 --> 00:17:39,915 - Hopefully. - Oh, okay, great. 483 00:17:39,949 --> 00:17:41,787 Well, maybe I'll fucking settle down when I can find a man 484 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,363 that can keep up with me. 485 00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:45,328 Do you know how hard it is being in a world 486 00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:48,811 surrounded by so many boys that can't handle a woman 487 00:17:48,846 --> 00:17:51,156 who can out drink, out earn and out fuck them, 488 00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:52,397 for the love of god? 489 00:17:52,432 --> 00:17:55,259 Do you know how many men cannot fuck? 490 00:17:55,294 --> 00:17:57,190 - There's a few. - No. 491 00:17:57,225 --> 00:17:58,604 - And some can. - None of them know 492 00:17:58,639 --> 00:18:00,201 how to eat pussy. I'll tell you that right now. 493 00:18:00,225 --> 00:18:01,501 - See, I beg to differ. - No. 494 00:18:01,535 --> 00:18:03,328 In fact, I would argue there are one, 495 00:18:03,363 --> 00:18:05,190 maybe two people in this general vicinity 496 00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:07,846 who can do it with the ferocity of a fucking tyrannosaurus 497 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,156 no, no. 498 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,846 - Larry. - Larry. 499 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,811 Can you please, for the love of god, 500 00:18:14,846 --> 00:18:16,742 give me one more round. 501 00:18:16,777 --> 00:18:18,408 I'll be you 502 00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:23,742 that if they fuck, I'll make you a steak dinner. 503 00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:25,397 - Really? - Yeah. 504 00:18:25,432 --> 00:18:28,535 Wearing nothing but an apron. 505 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,259 If I lose? 506 00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:36,259 Oh, when you lose, 507 00:18:36,294 --> 00:18:38,915 you have to eat my ass out on this throne. 508 00:18:38,949 --> 00:18:41,294 Well, why wait? Why don't I eat it fuckin' right now? 509 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,777 Daddy's hungry. 510 00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:45,156 Ah! Daddy! 511 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,673 Oh! 512 00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:49,915 I can trace it back every fucking time. 513 00:18:49,949 --> 00:18:53,156 The second they cut their hair, they cut their worst record! 514 00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:56,225 Ah, it's just such an absurd claim. 515 00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:59,639 It isn't... it's a fucking absurdly correct claim. 516 00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:01,949 Is what it is. Okay? 517 00:19:01,984 --> 00:19:03,880 Do you remember that fucking study I showed you? 518 00:19:03,915 --> 00:19:06,501 - Oh, yeah. The scientist one. - Yes, the fuckin' scientist one. 519 00:19:06,535 --> 00:19:09,156 The second that they cut the hair of 520 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:11,501 a native American person, they lost, like, 521 00:19:11,535 --> 00:19:13,294 - all sense of intuition. - Okay. 522 00:19:13,328 --> 00:19:14,753 - Like fucking all of it. - First off. 523 00:19:14,777 --> 00:19:16,604 - And it's really scary. - First off. 524 00:19:16,639 --> 00:19:19,432 Whatever bullshit fucking blog you pulled that study off... 525 00:19:19,466 --> 00:19:21,156 - A government study, dude. - Government. 526 00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:22,684 Has about as much merit as the fucking Reddit thread. 527 00:19:22,708 --> 00:19:24,535 - Okay. - Second off, second off, 528 00:19:24,570 --> 00:19:26,949 that has absolutely zero fucking merit when it comes to 529 00:19:26,984 --> 00:19:29,466 talking about somebody's actual musical ability. 530 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,466 Okay. I'm going to go through the fucking list. 531 00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:32,777 - Okay, do it. - Metallica. 532 00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:34,432 - Yeah? - Yeah. 533 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,846 They cut their hair, the fuckers release "load." 534 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,535 Yeah? Soundgarden. Cornell cuts his hair off. 535 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,639 Opts for the Spencers gift tips with the frosted spikes, 536 00:19:43,673 --> 00:19:45,708 and then the motherfuckers release "superunknown"! 537 00:19:45,742 --> 00:19:48,673 - What is that?! - Boom! Boom right there, bitch! 538 00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:50,259 Voids your argument? Do you know why? 539 00:19:50,294 --> 00:19:53,949 - Why? Tell me why. - 'Cause "superunknown", 540 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:55,604 - peak soundgarden. - Oh, fuckin'... 541 00:19:55,639 --> 00:19:57,787 - Are you kidding me? - Not one bad track on the album. 542 00:19:57,811 --> 00:19:59,511 Are you actually going to stop with the fucking 543 00:19:59,535 --> 00:20:01,190 Jesus Christ pose right now? 544 00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:02,777 What the fuck?! Are you serious?! 545 00:20:02,811 --> 00:20:04,846 Are you fuckin'... 546 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,225 Are you fucking kidding me? 547 00:20:07,259 --> 00:20:10,501 That's so fuckin' dumb, so fuckin' dumb. 548 00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:12,156 Let me guess. 549 00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:14,466 You prefer you prefer, uh, you prefer Van hagar? 550 00:20:14,501 --> 00:20:18,535 "Prefer" is a strong word. They lost zero appeal 551 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:19,949 when diamond Dave ducked out. 552 00:20:19,984 --> 00:20:22,570 - Oh! Really? - Yes, really. 553 00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:25,259 Because it's around that time that they got 554 00:20:25,294 --> 00:20:27,880 rid of their guitar god, and then replaced him 555 00:20:27,915 --> 00:20:30,949 with a synth loving clone of said guitar god. 556 00:20:30,984 --> 00:20:33,259 Alright, get your ass off the bar, Robbie. 557 00:20:33,294 --> 00:20:34,915 - Oh. - Hate to break up the party. 558 00:20:34,949 --> 00:20:36,915 I got four little diaper pissers at home. 559 00:20:36,949 --> 00:20:38,787 They're going to wake me up in four hours. Let's... 560 00:20:38,811 --> 00:20:40,501 Yes, thank you. 561 00:20:40,535 --> 00:20:42,639 I don't want to listen to this fucking guy anyway. 562 00:20:42,673 --> 00:20:44,432 - Sweet baby. Jesus. - Mm, got my card. 563 00:20:44,466 --> 00:20:47,535 Slow your roll, Larry. Got two more coming my way. 564 00:20:47,570 --> 00:20:50,156 - I'll pour you one. - Hands behind your back. 565 00:20:50,190 --> 00:20:52,604 - Hands behind my back? - You're lucky like you. 566 00:20:52,639 --> 00:20:54,742 Yeah, and you're lucky I don't have health inspector 567 00:20:54,777 --> 00:20:55,811 shut this shit hole down. 568 00:20:57,846 --> 00:20:58,915 He's right. 569 00:20:58,949 --> 00:21:00,535 Is he right? 570 00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:04,570 - And pour Tori and her new Beau. - Oh, thanks, man. 571 00:21:04,604 --> 00:21:08,225 One and one for yourself, Larry. 572 00:21:08,259 --> 00:21:10,535 I didn't know you two were a thing. 573 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,673 - We're not. - Yet. 574 00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:13,742 Get fucked. 575 00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:19,535 Ah, yeah! 576 00:21:45,328 --> 00:21:48,156 The wife's back is with her family. 577 00:21:52,190 --> 00:21:56,190 So that's why I'm spending Christmas alone. 578 00:21:56,225 --> 00:21:58,535 Unless you count that fucking mutt 579 00:21:58,570 --> 00:21:59,915 that won't keep its trap shut. 580 00:21:59,949 --> 00:22:01,639 Why do you have a fucking dog then, man? 581 00:22:01,673 --> 00:22:03,604 You think I wanted that thing? 582 00:22:03,639 --> 00:22:06,397 - That's all Donna. - Okay. 583 00:22:06,432 --> 00:22:08,880 That little son of a whore is like an angel around her. 584 00:22:08,915 --> 00:22:11,949 But with me, just me, it won't shut the fuck up 585 00:22:11,984 --> 00:22:14,501 because I won't spoil him, like Donna does. 586 00:22:14,535 --> 00:22:16,190 Just like with her old man. 587 00:22:16,225 --> 00:22:18,235 Yeah, I think... I think it sounds like the dog just 588 00:22:18,259 --> 00:22:20,639 probably needs, like, some lovin' from daddy Monroe. 589 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,604 - Like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 590 00:22:22,639 --> 00:22:25,570 I think the little bastard needs his balls clipped. 591 00:22:25,604 --> 00:22:27,535 - Hey, man. - Sure. 592 00:22:27,570 --> 00:22:29,294 Donna had me get my balls clipped 593 00:22:29,328 --> 00:22:33,225 - two days after Henry was born. - Jesus fucking Christ. 594 00:22:33,259 --> 00:22:38,328 You're gonna wake up a sleeping, junior. 595 00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:41,328 Well, uh, here, let's have a toast. 596 00:22:41,363 --> 00:22:43,846 I think you've had enough there, supercuts. 597 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,570 Cheers. 598 00:22:45,604 --> 00:22:48,846 Cheers. 599 00:22:50,639 --> 00:22:54,328 Here, let me, uh, cover what these kids are drinking. 600 00:22:54,363 --> 00:22:57,501 - Oh, no, no, that's... - No, hey, hey, hey, hey. 601 00:22:57,535 --> 00:22:58,915 - You... - Thank you, chief. 602 00:22:58,949 --> 00:23:02,604 - Keep the rest for yourself. - Thank you. 603 00:23:02,639 --> 00:23:04,880 Watch yourself with that one. 604 00:23:04,915 --> 00:23:06,363 Merry Christmas, sheriff. 605 00:23:06,397 --> 00:23:08,604 Shit, that little punk motherfucker, 606 00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:10,535 wipe that smirk off... 607 00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:13,466 Mm. That sucked the fucking Christmas early. 608 00:23:13,501 --> 00:23:16,190 God damn, what a sad fuckin' human being. 609 00:23:16,225 --> 00:23:19,328 You gonna be good to drive? 610 00:23:19,363 --> 00:23:20,880 Uh, no. 611 00:23:20,915 --> 00:23:23,328 I drove with Robbie... I fuckin' walked with Robbie. 612 00:23:23,363 --> 00:23:24,777 If I drove you, you'd be fucked. 613 00:23:24,811 --> 00:23:26,580 So much for drinking every guy under the table. 614 00:23:26,604 --> 00:23:30,639 Excuse me. You've got, like, at least five pounds on me. 615 00:23:30,673 --> 00:23:32,225 Soaking wet maybe. 616 00:23:32,259 --> 00:23:33,511 Get her home safe. Robbie. 617 00:23:33,535 --> 00:23:35,156 What the fuck's that's supposed to mean? 618 00:23:35,190 --> 00:23:37,190 - It's a big world out there. - You get home safe. 619 00:23:37,225 --> 00:23:39,328 Better watch for your children. 620 00:23:40,777 --> 00:23:42,639 - I'm just kidding. - Sounded so threatening. 621 00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:45,122 - Good night. - Thank you, Larry. 622 00:23:47,673 --> 00:23:49,949 - Ugh. - Come on. 623 00:23:52,984 --> 00:23:54,432 Yes! 624 00:23:55,673 --> 00:23:56,915 Oh, shit. 625 00:23:56,949 --> 00:23:58,673 Not yet. 626 00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:00,225 It's coming early. 627 00:24:00,259 --> 00:24:01,225 Hold it. No, baby, hold it. 628 00:24:01,259 --> 00:24:03,259 Hold it! You better not! 629 00:24:03,294 --> 00:24:04,639 Fuck! You better not! 630 00:24:04,673 --> 00:24:06,535 Ah! 631 00:24:08,190 --> 00:24:10,363 Like, what did he arrest you for? 632 00:24:10,397 --> 00:24:12,604 It was fucking... You were like... 633 00:24:12,639 --> 00:24:14,432 You were like pissing on a playground. 634 00:24:14,466 --> 00:24:16,339 I didn't know the kid was going to show up like that. 635 00:24:16,363 --> 00:24:18,156 Oh, fuck, and the kid was his grandson. 636 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,535 Yeah, I made him a man. 637 00:24:19,570 --> 00:24:21,166 That's fucked. You took that away from him. 638 00:24:21,190 --> 00:24:22,742 - I know. - You took it away him. 639 00:24:41,328 --> 00:24:44,432 Somebody help! 640 00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:45,787 Do you want to keep drinking, or...? 641 00:24:45,811 --> 00:24:48,915 I mean, yeah. What are you thinking? 642 00:24:48,949 --> 00:24:50,673 - What am I thinking? - Yeah. 643 00:25:07,570 --> 00:25:10,328 You can come over and kill that bottle with me. 644 00:25:10,363 --> 00:25:11,708 - Really? - Yeah. 645 00:25:11,742 --> 00:25:13,190 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 646 00:25:13,225 --> 00:25:15,156 Come kill the fucking bottle. 647 00:25:15,190 --> 00:25:17,432 I said come over for a drink, not over for a fuck. 648 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,084 Well, it sounds like someone's hankering for a little bit of... 649 00:25:28,673 --> 00:25:30,742 - You hear that? - Hear what? 650 00:25:40,984 --> 00:25:42,363 Yeah, dawg! 651 00:25:42,397 --> 00:25:44,604 Jay hitting that pipe. 652 00:25:44,639 --> 00:25:45,960 Yeah, he's hitting that fucking pipe. 653 00:25:45,984 --> 00:25:47,397 Speaking of, have you seen it? 654 00:25:47,432 --> 00:25:49,259 Yeah, it's fucking fat as fuck. 655 00:25:49,294 --> 00:25:51,294 - It's fat. - Oh, he be gaping that shit 656 00:25:51,328 --> 00:25:52,915 for sure. 657 00:26:05,501 --> 00:26:07,225 How old are you, fuckin' 12? 658 00:26:07,259 --> 00:26:08,718 I can see you smoking that blunt from here! 659 00:26:08,742 --> 00:26:10,915 - I didn't fuckin' ask... - I said give it to me! 660 00:26:10,949 --> 00:26:13,604 I need to salvage this Lincoln log... 661 00:26:13,639 --> 00:26:15,949 - No! - Before you run it into 662 00:26:15,984 --> 00:26:17,501 the fuckin' ground. 663 00:26:20,639 --> 00:26:23,225 Yeah, I want to fuckin' salvage this thing. 664 00:26:23,259 --> 00:26:24,822 What are we watching when we get to yours, 665 00:26:24,846 --> 00:26:26,535 "a Christmas story"? 666 00:26:26,570 --> 00:26:28,339 What is your fucking obsession with "a Christmas story"? 667 00:26:28,363 --> 00:26:29,718 What's your issue with "a Christmas story"? 668 00:26:29,742 --> 00:26:31,270 You're the one that brought it up earlier. 669 00:26:31,294 --> 00:26:32,742 Everyone's obsessed with it. 670 00:26:32,777 --> 00:26:34,373 If you want to watch a Bob Clark Christmas movie 671 00:26:34,397 --> 00:26:36,880 will watch fucking "black Christmas." 672 00:26:36,915 --> 00:26:39,397 Oh, that... That blumhouse joint? 673 00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:41,880 I'm just going to drive myself home. 674 00:26:41,915 --> 00:26:43,718 No, no, no. You said we were going to my car... 675 00:26:43,742 --> 00:26:45,880 If you want to go home and fucking jerk off 676 00:26:45,915 --> 00:26:48,408 - to fucking blumhouse movies... - Get your fuckin' ass over here. 677 00:26:48,432 --> 00:26:50,477 Okay, but are you done spewing garbage out of your fuckin' 678 00:26:50,501 --> 00:26:51,846 - whore mouth? - Oh, there it is. 679 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,673 There's your fuckin' Rhode Island accent. 680 00:26:53,708 --> 00:26:55,915 I maybe sound like I'm from Rhode Island, 681 00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:58,639 but at least I don't have shit taste in movies, 682 00:26:58,673 --> 00:27:03,190 shit opinions on everything, and drive a fucking shit car. 683 00:27:03,225 --> 00:27:04,684 Uh, excuse me, this is basically 684 00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:06,156 the same as your fucking car. 685 00:27:06,190 --> 00:27:07,339 Don't say that about her. She's beautiful. 686 00:27:07,363 --> 00:27:08,915 - Also... - I get her first. 687 00:27:08,949 --> 00:27:10,615 My lady. My lady. You got to get in on this side. 688 00:27:10,639 --> 00:27:12,397 You haven't got this fucking car fixed yet? 689 00:27:12,432 --> 00:27:13,777 With what you pay me, 690 00:27:13,811 --> 00:27:16,294 you think I can afford a fucking door? 691 00:27:16,328 --> 00:27:18,156 What are you doing with your paychecks? 692 00:27:18,190 --> 00:27:19,649 - This is... - My minimum, my minimum... 693 00:27:19,673 --> 00:27:21,156 That's embarrassing. 694 00:27:21,190 --> 00:27:22,511 My minimum fucking wage paycheck. 695 00:27:22,535 --> 00:27:23,925 Yeah, your minimum fucking wage paycheck. 696 00:27:23,949 --> 00:27:25,225 - Get it. - That should be 697 00:27:25,259 --> 00:27:27,190 - a fucking priority. - Please. 698 00:27:27,225 --> 00:27:28,673 - Wow. - Lady. 699 00:27:28,708 --> 00:27:31,225 No, I changed my fucking mind. I changed my mind. 700 00:27:31,259 --> 00:27:32,787 Hop in, hot shot. We got fucking whiskey waiting. 701 00:27:32,811 --> 00:27:34,363 - Get in. - Oh, whiskey you say? 702 00:27:34,397 --> 00:27:35,604 - Yes. - Okay, in that case, 703 00:27:35,639 --> 00:27:37,466 - shut your fucking mouth. - Oh, this mouth. 704 00:27:37,501 --> 00:27:39,708 This fucking whore mouth and that devil's tongue, baby. 705 00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:43,432 - Ew, shut the... Robbie. - Come on, what? 706 00:27:43,466 --> 00:27:44,891 - This is a... - Get your fuckin' ass in. 707 00:27:44,915 --> 00:27:46,949 Don't touch my fuckin' ass. 708 00:27:46,984 --> 00:27:48,777 She got a bit of a fight in her. All right. 709 00:27:48,811 --> 00:27:52,225 - Call fucking H.R. - I'll give you space. 710 00:27:52,259 --> 00:27:53,777 No wonder you don't get fuckin' laid. 711 00:27:55,535 --> 00:27:57,880 - Look at this. - What? 712 00:27:57,915 --> 00:27:59,466 No wonder you don't get fucking laid. 713 00:27:59,501 --> 00:28:01,604 - This is disgusting. - It adds to the flavor. 714 00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:04,880 Adds to the flavor of what? A fucking chicken Coop. 715 00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:07,604 This is fucked up. 716 00:28:07,639 --> 00:28:09,753 Some empty cans and bottles. That's Tori tooms' break? 717 00:28:09,777 --> 00:28:11,639 No, but it's the nail in the fucking coffin 718 00:28:11,673 --> 00:28:13,397 because this is really bad. 719 00:28:13,432 --> 00:28:15,604 - Come on, baby. - How do you live like this? 720 00:28:15,639 --> 00:28:17,501 - Let's cowboy up. - Just take my car. 721 00:28:17,535 --> 00:28:20,259 Just take my fucking card. 722 00:28:20,294 --> 00:28:22,225 You just got to be patient with her. 723 00:28:22,259 --> 00:28:24,846 I'm gonna lose my buzz. 724 00:28:27,949 --> 00:28:29,742 - Hey! - Oh, god. 725 00:28:29,777 --> 00:28:32,673 - Jesus. - Feel that between my pants. 726 00:28:32,708 --> 00:28:34,787 We're going to have to roll this up the hill ourselves. 727 00:28:34,811 --> 00:28:37,397 - Alright. - Whoa. Jesus fucking Christ. 728 00:28:37,432 --> 00:28:39,708 I don't feel safe. What are you... okay. 729 00:28:39,742 --> 00:28:41,639 She's road worthy. Don't even worry about it. 730 00:28:41,673 --> 00:28:44,915 Okay! Here we go. 731 00:29:08,708 --> 00:29:11,708 Oh, if this guy parks his fucking ranchero here 732 00:29:11,742 --> 00:29:13,466 one more time, I'm going to total it, 733 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:15,466 smash out his fucking windows. 734 00:29:15,501 --> 00:29:17,328 Little harsh to the griswolds. 735 00:29:17,363 --> 00:29:18,960 No, it's boozin' Benny down at the bottom of the hill. 736 00:29:18,984 --> 00:29:20,915 - He's a fucking alcoholic. - Boozin' Benny. 737 00:29:20,949 --> 00:29:22,604 Just pull up behind my sister's car. 738 00:29:22,639 --> 00:29:24,225 Wait. Your sister is here? 739 00:29:24,259 --> 00:29:25,787 Do you not listen to a fucking thing I say? 740 00:29:25,811 --> 00:29:27,684 Well, I mean, I listen, but I don't retain. 741 00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:29,708 Yeah, well, I don't want to retain the stink 742 00:29:29,742 --> 00:29:31,880 from this fucking chicken Coop, so get out. 743 00:29:31,915 --> 00:29:33,570 Come on, let's go drink. 744 00:29:33,604 --> 00:29:36,294 - Beautiful. - Oh, Jesus. 745 00:29:36,328 --> 00:29:38,501 - All right, my lady. - Listen, I really can't... 746 00:29:38,535 --> 00:29:40,708 Please exit your chariot. 747 00:29:40,742 --> 00:29:42,604 I honestly... I'm... whoa. 748 00:29:42,639 --> 00:29:44,570 I'm too drunk for this. Jesus. 749 00:29:44,604 --> 00:29:46,742 Walk carefully, please. Thank you. 750 00:29:46,777 --> 00:29:49,777 And treat her with respect and dignity. 751 00:29:55,604 --> 00:29:57,363 Uh, welcome to my humble abode. 752 00:29:57,397 --> 00:29:58,949 Yeah, it's cute. It's uh... 753 00:29:58,984 --> 00:30:01,432 Charming, classy, cute. I know. 754 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:02,949 - Yeah, sure. - Extravagant. 755 00:30:02,984 --> 00:30:04,570 - Rustic. - Yeah. 756 00:30:04,604 --> 00:30:07,156 Humble. Barn-like. 757 00:30:07,190 --> 00:30:09,639 I really hope we don't take my sister out because 758 00:30:09,673 --> 00:30:12,501 I don't want to have to awkwardly introduce you. 759 00:30:12,535 --> 00:30:15,604 Wait, so are we drinking alone tonight, or what? 760 00:30:15,639 --> 00:30:17,604 Robbie, do not fucking listen to me? 761 00:30:17,639 --> 00:30:18,915 They're out cold. 762 00:30:18,949 --> 00:30:20,639 Out cold already? It's not even midnight. 763 00:30:20,673 --> 00:30:22,891 Plus, my lame ass brother in law doesn't even drink, so... 764 00:30:22,915 --> 00:30:26,673 Oh, that fucking cunt Mike. Yeah? 765 00:30:26,708 --> 00:30:29,328 Mr. Hollywood? Yeah. 766 00:30:32,949 --> 00:30:37,259 These goddamn neighbors and their fucking obnoxious lights. 767 00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:39,742 Hey, Tori. 768 00:30:39,777 --> 00:30:42,742 How much music was there in "unsolved mysteries"? 769 00:30:42,777 --> 00:30:44,673 - What? - I mean, like, I don't... 770 00:30:44,708 --> 00:30:46,442 I don't want to... I don't want to scare you, 771 00:30:46,466 --> 00:30:49,328 like, in your own home, but there's like six hours 772 00:30:49,363 --> 00:30:50,960 worth of the "unsolved mysteries" soundtrack? 773 00:30:50,984 --> 00:30:54,156 What the fuck is your problem with "unsolved mysteries"? 774 00:30:54,190 --> 00:30:56,259 I mean, like, 30 second intro, and then, like, 775 00:30:56,294 --> 00:30:57,742 do you need six hours? 776 00:30:57,777 --> 00:30:59,570 Have you heard it? 777 00:30:59,604 --> 00:31:02,708 No, not the entire fucking expanse of isolated soundtrack. 778 00:31:02,742 --> 00:31:05,604 Oh, well, it is the fucking creepiest goddamn synth pads 779 00:31:05,639 --> 00:31:08,225 you will ever hear in your fucking life. 780 00:31:08,259 --> 00:31:10,156 - Mm-hmm. Right. - They're amazing. Put it on. 781 00:31:10,190 --> 00:31:12,166 Yeah, okay. No, I've already got something queued up. 782 00:31:12,190 --> 00:31:13,718 No, put it on. I want you to get like soaked up and like 783 00:31:13,742 --> 00:31:14,925 - immersed in it. - No, no, no, I'm good. 784 00:31:14,949 --> 00:31:16,708 - I'm good. - It's so good. Please. 785 00:31:16,742 --> 00:31:18,546 Robbie. All right, fine. At least I know it won't be "load." 786 00:31:18,570 --> 00:31:21,466 - Oh, I know. I already looked. - Oh, did you? 787 00:31:21,501 --> 00:31:25,156 Of course. Oh, come on, Robbie. 788 00:31:25,190 --> 00:31:28,225 "Rhythms from a cosmic sky" is, like, at least four times... 789 00:31:28,259 --> 00:31:29,811 Oh, you're the worst fuckin' opinion. 790 00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:31,856 No, everybody knows that. What are you talking about? 791 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,673 Uh, it's in your collection. 792 00:31:33,708 --> 00:31:34,856 Yeah, because I'm a completist. Thank you. 793 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,259 - Not for metallica. - Shut up. 794 00:31:37,294 --> 00:31:40,742 Follow... get that fucking thing away from me. 795 00:31:40,777 --> 00:31:43,466 Okay. 796 00:31:43,501 --> 00:31:45,811 I'm weirdly turned on by this. 797 00:31:45,846 --> 00:31:47,915 - Really? - But I need you to stop. 798 00:32:05,225 --> 00:32:08,466 Hey, Freddy. Buddy, let's not open gifts. 799 00:32:10,225 --> 00:32:11,639 There's absolutely no fucking way 800 00:32:11,673 --> 00:32:12,925 that you actually think that "pet sematary 2" 801 00:32:12,949 --> 00:32:14,639 is better than the fucking first one! 802 00:32:14,673 --> 00:32:17,294 It's twice is good, if not fucking three times, okay? 803 00:32:17,328 --> 00:32:20,777 It's good. Not better. Not better. No. 804 00:32:20,811 --> 00:32:23,604 Edward furlong, Clancy fucking brown. 805 00:32:23,639 --> 00:32:26,535 Who, by the way, chews up scenery like it's a piece of 806 00:32:26,570 --> 00:32:28,846 fucking gum, and that soundtrack. 807 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,363 They've got 12 tracks of female fronted 808 00:32:31,397 --> 00:32:35,190 fucking aggressive as hell, early '90s grunge! 809 00:32:35,225 --> 00:32:36,960 Traci lords has three goddamn songs on the album, 810 00:32:36,984 --> 00:32:38,708 and they're fucking good, they're so good. 811 00:32:38,742 --> 00:32:41,190 So, you think it's better because Traci lords, porn star, 812 00:32:41,225 --> 00:32:45,259 fucking superstar, big titty Traci lords has, what, like, 813 00:32:45,294 --> 00:32:47,294 fuckin' two tracks on the album. 814 00:32:47,328 --> 00:32:50,501 No, three, by the way, and better story. 815 00:32:50,535 --> 00:32:53,501 Better music, obviously. Better kills. 816 00:32:53,535 --> 00:32:57,742 Better makeup, better fucking cast and... 817 00:32:57,777 --> 00:33:01,673 Lord Gwynn aside, I will say, you got me there. 818 00:33:01,708 --> 00:33:04,259 But Mary lambert, she was finally given free reign. 819 00:33:04,294 --> 00:33:05,822 - Yeah, that was a mistake. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 820 00:33:05,846 --> 00:33:07,639 - What the fuck are you doing? - What? 821 00:33:07,673 --> 00:33:10,535 What fucking neanderthal puts salsa on nachos 822 00:33:10,570 --> 00:33:12,501 - before they cook them? - Me. 823 00:33:12,535 --> 00:33:15,328 Freddy, put it away and get to bed. 824 00:33:20,570 --> 00:33:22,639 - "Elm street." - Part 6, "Freddy's dead." 825 00:33:22,673 --> 00:33:24,570 - Come the fuck on. - Yeah. 826 00:33:24,604 --> 00:33:26,777 Whoa! Hellraiser? 827 00:33:26,811 --> 00:33:28,466 - "Hell on earth." - Child's play? 828 00:33:28,501 --> 00:33:30,190 - 2. - Alien? 829 00:33:30,225 --> 00:33:33,328 - "Covenant." - oh, no, no, no. 830 00:33:33,363 --> 00:33:35,742 - Yes. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, 831 00:33:35,777 --> 00:33:39,673 - okay, okay, okay, okay. - Okay. 832 00:33:39,708 --> 00:33:40,949 Blair witch? 833 00:33:40,984 --> 00:33:43,466 Book of motherfucking shadows", bitch? 834 00:33:43,501 --> 00:33:45,546 It's a fucking classic, and you're going to watch it, 835 00:33:45,570 --> 00:33:48,673 and you'll... stop. You'll get it. I promise. 836 00:33:48,708 --> 00:33:50,501 Do you use your little fucking fingers, like, 837 00:33:50,535 --> 00:33:51,925 typing on the keyboard, and you're like, 838 00:33:51,949 --> 00:33:53,363 "oh, like Reddit, Reddit thread." 839 00:33:53,397 --> 00:33:54,856 Shut the fuck up. No, no, I am like, 840 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,742 I am a gal with fucking strong opinions. 841 00:33:56,777 --> 00:33:58,363 And now we're going to take a shot to 842 00:33:58,397 --> 00:33:59,546 "book of" motherfuckin' "shadows" 843 00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:01,501 because it's so good. 844 00:34:01,535 --> 00:34:03,432 Ah. 845 00:34:33,225 --> 00:34:34,742 Oh, fuck. 846 00:34:45,811 --> 00:34:47,363 Jesus. 847 00:34:57,432 --> 00:34:59,259 Freddy, that better not be you. 848 00:34:59,294 --> 00:35:01,915 If you're opening those gifts, I swear to god. 849 00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:08,466 Hey, you know what happens if I come down there. 850 00:35:17,190 --> 00:35:18,604 Oh! 851 00:35:18,639 --> 00:35:20,432 Oh, my god. 852 00:35:20,466 --> 00:35:22,570 Sorry, sorry. 853 00:35:23,397 --> 00:35:25,708 Fuck it. 854 00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:31,397 Freddy? Freddy, is that you, buddy? 855 00:35:31,432 --> 00:35:33,880 Said we weren't gonna open or touch any of these gifts 856 00:35:33,915 --> 00:35:35,673 till Santa got... 857 00:35:40,225 --> 00:35:43,328 Get the fuck out of my house. I'm calling the cops right now. 858 00:35:43,363 --> 00:35:45,259 Oh, shit! 859 00:35:54,742 --> 00:35:56,604 Wait. 860 00:36:11,328 --> 00:36:13,328 Oh, king shit. 861 00:38:20,466 --> 00:38:22,432 Frankie, what was... 862 00:38:33,708 --> 00:38:34,915 Frankie! 863 00:38:39,777 --> 00:38:42,363 Oh, what the fuck? 864 00:38:44,259 --> 00:38:45,397 That was... 865 00:38:47,639 --> 00:38:49,363 Unexpected. 866 00:38:49,397 --> 00:38:51,742 Too bad find out about that earlier. 867 00:38:51,777 --> 00:38:54,122 Yeah, it's too bad. 868 00:39:06,639 --> 00:39:10,604 This thing is usda approved organic prime man meat. 869 00:39:10,639 --> 00:39:12,708 Sorry, are you asking me to peg you? 870 00:39:12,742 --> 00:39:15,880 I'm not asking. I'm inviting. 871 00:39:15,915 --> 00:39:18,363 Please, sir, may I have a hit? 872 00:39:25,225 --> 00:39:27,432 No! Pl... aah! 873 00:39:28,639 --> 00:39:31,294 I'm gonna get some more whiskey, flip the record. 874 00:39:31,328 --> 00:39:33,742 Come back up. Don't fucking move. 875 00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:44,432 Mom? 876 00:39:46,984 --> 00:39:48,742 Mommy? 877 00:39:48,777 --> 00:39:50,742 You okay? 878 00:39:57,777 --> 00:39:59,880 Santa? 879 00:39:59,915 --> 00:40:01,708 Where's mommy? 880 00:40:06,190 --> 00:40:09,225 Did you bring me any good presents? 881 00:40:09,259 --> 00:40:10,880 You did! 882 00:40:50,397 --> 00:40:52,673 Oh. Fuck, fuck! 883 00:40:52,708 --> 00:40:54,846 Fuck me. 884 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,639 Damn it. 885 00:40:58,294 --> 00:40:59,915 Jesus. 886 00:41:02,811 --> 00:41:04,604 That's fucked. 887 00:41:20,225 --> 00:41:23,673 Not stupid clothes again. 888 00:41:29,501 --> 00:41:31,535 Why are you so bloody? 889 00:41:32,673 --> 00:41:34,604 Mommy? 890 00:41:37,949 --> 00:41:40,156 Mom! 891 00:41:47,501 --> 00:41:49,535 - Oh, fuck! - What? 892 00:41:49,570 --> 00:41:50,915 - This guy... - Tori! 893 00:41:50,949 --> 00:41:53,225 I think he maybe just killed the kid next door. 894 00:41:53,259 --> 00:41:54,811 What the hell are you talking about? 895 00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:57,466 Oh, fuck. 896 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,225 Oh, fuck! 897 00:42:05,259 --> 00:42:07,432 Call the fucking cops now. Come on. 898 00:42:07,466 --> 00:42:10,363 Fuck. Have you seen my phone? Fuck! Get my phone! 899 00:42:10,397 --> 00:42:12,915 - It's upstairs. - Shit. Is your phone down here? 900 00:42:12,949 --> 00:42:15,604 Robbie, go! Find a phone! 901 00:42:27,294 --> 00:42:29,708 Robbie? He's gone. 902 00:42:29,742 --> 00:42:30,915 What? 903 00:42:30,949 --> 00:42:32,604 Robbie, he's fucking gone. 904 00:42:32,639 --> 00:42:34,604 He saw us. The fucker's gonna come over here. 905 00:42:34,639 --> 00:42:35,891 Find a phone and get the fuck out. 906 00:42:35,915 --> 00:42:37,673 I have to get my sister. 907 00:42:37,708 --> 00:42:40,432 Liddy, Mike, wake the fuck up. Get your asses out of bed. 908 00:42:40,466 --> 00:42:42,190 There's no time to explain. Come on, we... 909 00:42:42,225 --> 00:42:43,684 - Come on. We have to go. - What is going on? 910 00:42:43,708 --> 00:42:45,328 Uh, uh, where's your phone? 911 00:42:45,363 --> 00:42:47,432 It's up there. There weren't any outlets. 912 00:42:47,466 --> 00:42:49,190 Okay. Get out of bed. Put your shoes on. 913 00:42:49,225 --> 00:42:50,708 Put your shoes on now. Come on. 914 00:42:50,742 --> 00:42:52,604 Mike, get the fuck up. I'm trying to help you. 915 00:42:52,639 --> 00:42:54,270 - Alright, alright. - Does it look like I'm joking? 916 00:42:54,294 --> 00:42:56,259 You fucking idiot! Get out of bed! 917 00:42:58,604 --> 00:42:59,856 All right, come on, move it. You should go. 918 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,156 No, you go. Mike, get the fuck out. 919 00:43:02,190 --> 00:43:03,225 - Alright. - Go! 920 00:43:03,259 --> 00:43:05,466 Fuck you, go. 921 00:43:05,501 --> 00:43:06,856 I have no idea what the fuck my phone is. 922 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,673 Shut up. Shut the fuck up. 923 00:43:13,949 --> 00:43:16,225 Where are you keys? 924 00:43:16,259 --> 00:43:17,708 I don't know. 925 00:43:17,742 --> 00:43:19,546 I must have left them in the truck or something. 926 00:43:19,570 --> 00:43:21,304 Well, if they're not in the fucking truck, where are they? 927 00:43:21,328 --> 00:43:22,846 I don't fucking know, do I? 928 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,891 Liddy, do you have your keys? Your fucking keys, liddy? 929 00:43:24,915 --> 00:43:26,949 - Where are they? - Get the keys. 930 00:43:26,984 --> 00:43:28,718 The keys? What do you want with the fuckin'... 931 00:43:28,742 --> 00:43:30,328 Shut the fuck up, you cunt. 932 00:43:30,363 --> 00:43:32,190 Okay. Do you want me to get the keys or not? 933 00:43:32,225 --> 00:43:33,339 - Yes. - Fine. I'll get the keys. 934 00:43:33,363 --> 00:43:34,915 Jesus. 935 00:43:39,501 --> 00:43:41,708 Did anybody see where he went? 936 00:43:44,984 --> 00:43:46,846 Okay. 937 00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:49,363 Okay, okay, okay. 938 00:43:49,397 --> 00:43:51,190 We're going to go to the basement. 939 00:43:51,225 --> 00:43:52,960 - What if it's in the basement? - Then we don't have 940 00:43:52,984 --> 00:43:56,225 anywhere to go, do we? 941 00:43:56,259 --> 00:43:57,639 Okay, hang on. 942 00:44:01,294 --> 00:44:02,373 All right, I got the keys. 943 00:44:02,397 --> 00:44:03,777 - Shh! - Look, I didn't even 944 00:44:03,811 --> 00:44:05,259 want to come here in the first... 945 00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:06,915 Shut the fuck up, Mike. Shut the fuck up. 946 00:45:20,570 --> 00:45:22,466 Get up! 947 00:45:23,949 --> 00:45:25,949 Run! 948 00:45:25,984 --> 00:45:28,604 Get out! 949 00:45:34,570 --> 00:45:37,880 Go! Fucking! Go! 950 00:45:40,432 --> 00:45:41,880 Liddy! 951 00:45:41,915 --> 00:45:45,673 Get... fuck! Shit! 952 00:45:46,673 --> 00:45:47,846 No! 953 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,535 No! Please! 954 00:45:50,570 --> 00:45:53,122 No! Please! No! 955 00:46:00,846 --> 00:46:02,708 Hey, hey, you got to get in, you got to get in, 956 00:46:02,742 --> 00:46:03,856 you got to get in, you got to get in, 957 00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,501 hey, she's not coming? Okay. 958 00:46:05,535 --> 00:46:07,270 - I need my sister... - Listen to me. Listen to me. 959 00:46:07,294 --> 00:46:09,166 Listen to me, listen. Okay, she's not coming, okay? 960 00:46:09,190 --> 00:46:10,925 You've got to get in the car. Okay? For me. Please. 961 00:46:10,949 --> 00:46:12,846 Please, please, please, please, please. 962 00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:14,639 Yeah, okay, come on. Yeah. 963 00:46:14,673 --> 00:46:17,363 Get up, come on. Just get in there. 964 00:46:17,397 --> 00:46:18,880 Yeah, okay, get in there. 965 00:46:18,915 --> 00:46:20,787 I need liddy here right now. 966 00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:21,915 - I need liddy here. - Hey. 967 00:46:21,949 --> 00:46:25,466 - Come on, Robbie! - Come on! 968 00:46:25,501 --> 00:46:28,501 Fuck you! Fuck! 969 00:46:30,846 --> 00:46:33,742 Go, Robbie, come on. 970 00:46:39,363 --> 00:46:41,639 Robbie! Robbie! 971 00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:48,432 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 972 00:46:48,466 --> 00:46:49,708 Are you all right? 973 00:46:49,742 --> 00:46:51,501 - Yeah. - Okay. Well, we got to... 974 00:46:51,535 --> 00:46:53,649 We got to go. We got to go because he's gonna come back. 975 00:46:53,673 --> 00:46:55,432 Come on! 976 00:46:55,466 --> 00:46:58,328 - Fuck! It's stuck. - Try going forward. 977 00:46:58,363 --> 00:46:59,777 What the fuck?! 978 00:46:59,811 --> 00:47:02,225 - Fuck. - Oh, fuck! 979 00:47:02,259 --> 00:47:03,915 Totaled by fuckin' ranchero! 980 00:47:03,949 --> 00:47:05,397 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 981 00:47:06,466 --> 00:47:07,570 - Come on. - Fuck! 982 00:47:07,604 --> 00:47:09,225 You fucking cocksuckers! 983 00:47:09,259 --> 00:47:11,156 - Hey. - B, hey, hey. 984 00:47:11,190 --> 00:47:12,742 Get the fuck out of the car. 985 00:47:12,777 --> 00:47:14,856 I can't get out of the fucking car. Listen to me. 986 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,535 What is with this door? Hey, you two bit fuckin' scumbag, 987 00:47:17,570 --> 00:47:20,156 get the fuck out of the car. Come on. 988 00:47:20,190 --> 00:47:21,708 - Oh, what the fuck? - Fuck! 989 00:47:21,742 --> 00:47:23,259 Get out of the fucking car! 990 00:47:23,294 --> 00:47:24,891 Oh, look, the paint's all fucked up, man! 991 00:47:24,915 --> 00:47:27,190 I just got this detailed! 992 00:47:27,225 --> 00:47:30,259 I'm calling the fuckin' cops on your ass, Tori. 993 00:47:30,294 --> 00:47:31,604 - Hello? - Go now. 994 00:47:31,639 --> 00:47:33,294 - 246... - Fuck. He's coming. 995 00:47:33,328 --> 00:47:34,511 He's right there! Hey! 996 00:47:34,535 --> 00:47:36,328 He can't fucking hear you because... 997 00:47:36,363 --> 00:47:38,673 - Hey, behind you! - Hey, behind you! 998 00:47:38,708 --> 00:47:41,397 - Behind you! - No, no, no, no! 999 00:47:41,432 --> 00:47:42,742 No! 1000 00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:44,915 Stop fucking honking! 1001 00:47:44,949 --> 00:47:46,501 Oh! 1002 00:47:48,432 --> 00:47:49,846 Okay, go. 1003 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,328 Go, come on, let's go! 1004 00:47:52,363 --> 00:47:55,570 I'm trying! 1005 00:47:56,708 --> 00:47:58,363 Oh, oh! 1006 00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:04,122 Okay, okay! Fucking drive! 1007 00:48:21,259 --> 00:48:23,225 No! No! No! 1008 00:48:23,915 --> 00:48:25,742 No! 1009 00:48:25,777 --> 00:48:28,949 Fucker! Robbie! No, fuck off! 1010 00:48:28,984 --> 00:48:30,708 Robbie! 1011 00:48:30,742 --> 00:48:34,225 No! No! Robbie! No! 1012 00:48:34,259 --> 00:48:36,880 Oh, fuck! 1013 00:48:36,915 --> 00:48:39,535 No, Robbie. You got to get up. 1014 00:48:39,570 --> 00:48:42,259 You got to get up right now. Get up right now, come on! 1015 00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:45,156 Get your ass... get your ass up, come on! 1016 00:48:45,190 --> 00:48:47,397 Get the fuck up, Robbie! 1017 00:48:47,432 --> 00:48:49,777 Somebody help us! 1018 00:48:49,811 --> 00:48:51,742 Where the fuck is everyone? 1019 00:48:51,777 --> 00:48:54,363 No! Robbie, Robbie, he's coming back. 1020 00:48:54,397 --> 00:48:55,925 Come on, get up, get up. 1021 00:48:55,949 --> 00:48:57,880 Get it here, Robbie! 1022 00:48:57,915 --> 00:48:59,949 No! Behind you! 1023 00:48:59,984 --> 00:49:01,915 Behind you! 1024 00:49:01,949 --> 00:49:03,708 No! 1025 00:49:03,742 --> 00:49:06,673 Robbie! 1026 00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:13,466 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 1027 00:49:13,501 --> 00:49:15,328 Hide! 1028 00:49:15,363 --> 00:49:16,742 Drop the weapon! 1029 00:49:16,777 --> 00:49:18,604 Now! 1030 00:49:18,639 --> 00:49:19,811 Hey! 1031 00:49:19,846 --> 00:49:21,328 Don't come any closer! 1032 00:49:21,363 --> 00:49:22,535 Kill this motherfucker! 1033 00:49:22,570 --> 00:49:25,811 Drop the weapon now! 1034 00:49:34,846 --> 00:49:36,570 This is officer Danny Davis. 1035 00:49:36,604 --> 00:49:38,846 I got at least three people down at 246 Chestnut. 1036 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,535 Send back up and an ambulance immediately. 1037 00:49:47,432 --> 00:49:49,328 It's gonna be okay. 1038 00:49:49,363 --> 00:49:50,639 Don't touch me. Don't touch me! 1039 00:49:50,673 --> 00:49:54,535 It's okay. Help is on the way. 1040 00:49:54,570 --> 00:49:56,294 Help is on the way, okay? 1041 00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:59,259 - Are you sure he's dead? - Yes. He's dead. 1042 00:49:59,294 --> 00:50:01,432 He's dead. 1043 00:50:01,466 --> 00:50:03,397 He's not getting up. 1044 00:50:05,190 --> 00:50:06,811 I got you. 1045 00:50:09,639 --> 00:50:11,328 Oh, Robbie. 1046 00:50:11,363 --> 00:50:13,432 - I got you. - Oh, Robbie. Robbie! 1047 00:50:13,466 --> 00:50:15,511 It's okay, it's okay. Don't look at him. Don't look at him. 1048 00:50:15,535 --> 00:50:19,604 Okay, stay calm. Help is on the way, alright? 1049 00:50:22,915 --> 00:50:26,604 It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fi... watch your head. 1050 00:50:41,673 --> 00:50:43,363 Can you tell me what happened? 1051 00:50:43,397 --> 00:50:45,466 - You need to check the store. - What? 1052 00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:47,363 The toy store. You need to check the toy store. 1053 00:50:47,397 --> 00:50:49,190 Why? 1054 00:50:49,225 --> 00:50:52,294 Because that thing looks exactly like the Santa from the store. 1055 00:50:52,328 --> 00:50:54,432 You mean the t.W. Bonkers thing? 1056 00:50:54,466 --> 00:50:56,294 Yeah. 1057 00:50:56,328 --> 00:50:58,880 That fucking guy looks exactly like the thing from the store. 1058 00:50:58,915 --> 00:51:00,708 I can assure it's not on the same Santa. 1059 00:51:00,742 --> 00:51:02,846 No, no, that's... I'm saying that maybe he took 1060 00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,639 the fucking suit or something. 1061 00:51:04,673 --> 00:51:07,708 And my friends, my friends were staying the night there, 1062 00:51:07,742 --> 00:51:09,880 and... and maybe that fucker killed them and then took 1063 00:51:09,915 --> 00:51:11,373 the fucking suit. That's what I'm saying. 1064 00:51:11,397 --> 00:51:13,225 He didn't get that thing anywhere. 1065 00:51:13,259 --> 00:51:14,673 You need to fucking check! Okay? 1066 00:51:14,708 --> 00:51:16,373 - There's only a few of us, okay? - I don't fucking care. 1067 00:51:16,397 --> 00:51:18,639 Listen to me. No one's been fucking listening to me. 1068 00:51:18,673 --> 00:51:19,915 There's only a few of us! 1069 00:51:19,949 --> 00:51:21,915 You need to do a fucking drive by! 1070 00:51:21,949 --> 00:51:23,787 - More people are gonna die! - Once everything... 1071 00:51:23,811 --> 00:51:25,787 Once everything is all right, I can go back and do a check. 1072 00:51:25,811 --> 00:51:27,639 More people are gonna fucking die! 1073 00:51:27,673 --> 00:51:30,225 Calm down. 1074 00:51:31,259 --> 00:51:33,604 Shoot him! Fucking shoot him! 1075 00:51:42,742 --> 00:51:47,570 Blow his fucking head off, Davies, now! 1076 00:51:49,501 --> 00:51:50,708 He's done for! 1077 00:51:50,742 --> 00:51:52,673 Ah! 1078 00:51:52,708 --> 00:51:54,915 Davies? 1079 00:51:58,915 --> 00:52:02,639 Davies? Davies, get the fuck up! 1080 00:52:02,673 --> 00:52:06,570 Hey! Oh, you fuckin' idiot! Come on! 1081 00:52:06,604 --> 00:52:08,466 Get up! 1082 00:52:08,501 --> 00:52:10,363 Behind you! 1083 00:52:10,397 --> 00:52:13,328 No, no, no, no, no! 1084 00:52:44,604 --> 00:52:46,190 Ho, ho, ho! 1085 00:52:46,225 --> 00:52:48,294 Merry Christmas. 1086 00:52:55,949 --> 00:52:57,742 Okay, okay. 1087 00:52:57,777 --> 00:52:59,190 Okay, okay, okay. 1088 00:53:02,190 --> 00:53:04,742 Hello? Officer Davis was killed, okay? 1089 00:53:04,777 --> 00:53:06,535 He's fucking dead. Is anyone there? 1090 00:53:07,811 --> 00:53:09,190 Listen to me. 1091 00:53:09,225 --> 00:53:11,811 The officers going to 246 Chestnut 1092 00:53:11,846 --> 00:53:13,846 need to be fucking careful because the killer is 1093 00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,501 still there, and he looks like fucking Santa, okay? 1094 00:53:16,535 --> 00:53:17,708 He's in a Santa costume. 1095 00:53:17,742 --> 00:53:19,915 Fuck! 1096 00:53:19,949 --> 00:53:22,639 Oh, fuck. 1097 00:53:22,673 --> 00:53:25,846 Yes, go! 1098 00:53:27,570 --> 00:53:30,673 Hey! Hey! 1099 00:53:30,708 --> 00:53:33,363 Hey! 1100 00:53:33,397 --> 00:53:35,639 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 1101 00:53:35,673 --> 00:53:37,339 - Get on the ground! - No, I've been calling you! 1102 00:53:37,363 --> 00:53:39,639 Don't fuckin' move! On the ground! 1103 00:53:39,673 --> 00:53:41,708 - Get on the ground! - Get your hands on your head! 1104 00:53:41,742 --> 00:53:43,235 - I need your help! - Hands on your head. 1105 00:53:43,259 --> 00:53:44,718 - I need your... - Get your fucking hands 1106 00:53:44,742 --> 00:53:46,339 - on your head! - Fine, I'm fucking sorry! 1107 00:53:46,363 --> 00:53:47,822 Officer: Get your hands on your fucking head! 1108 00:53:47,846 --> 00:53:49,408 - No, no, no, I need your help. - Where's Davies? 1109 00:53:49,432 --> 00:53:51,535 I need your help. I need your fucking help, man. 1110 00:53:51,570 --> 00:53:54,294 Where is Davies? Get your hands behind your back. 1111 00:53:54,328 --> 00:53:55,949 He's dead, he's dead, he's dead. 1112 00:53:55,984 --> 00:53:57,856 - What did you just say? - He's dead. He's fuckin' dead. 1113 00:53:57,880 --> 00:53:59,304 They're all fucking dead. 1114 00:53:59,328 --> 00:54:00,546 - Bullshit! Where is he! - He's dead! 1115 00:54:00,570 --> 00:54:02,708 I've been trying to fucking tell you! 1116 00:54:02,742 --> 00:54:04,604 - What did you do? - I didn't do anything? 1117 00:54:04,639 --> 00:54:06,199 - I didn't do anything - what did you do? 1118 00:54:06,225 --> 00:54:09,294 I need your fuckin' help! I need your fuckin' help! 1119 00:54:09,328 --> 00:54:12,259 - Get up, sweetheart. Get up! - I need... ah! 1120 00:54:12,294 --> 00:54:14,570 He's still there! 1121 00:54:14,604 --> 00:54:16,294 You need help, you need help. 1122 00:54:16,328 --> 00:54:18,604 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I call the shots! 1123 00:54:18,639 --> 00:54:20,673 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Weston, you get down 1124 00:54:20,708 --> 00:54:23,156 to Chestnut. I'm taking her... I'm taking you in. 1125 00:54:23,190 --> 00:54:24,546 You can't alone. You're gonna fuckin' die. 1126 00:54:24,570 --> 00:54:26,190 - Listen. - You need to call in some... 1127 00:54:26,225 --> 00:54:27,915 - Hey! - You got to fuckin listen to me. 1128 00:54:27,949 --> 00:54:29,915 You're gonna fucking die. He killed everybody. 1129 00:54:29,949 --> 00:54:34,639 - You need back up! - Get in the fuckin' car! 1130 00:54:34,673 --> 00:54:37,466 - You need back up! - Fuck! Shut the fuck up. 1131 00:54:37,501 --> 00:54:38,960 What do you want to do with Davies' car? 1132 00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:41,190 Nothing. Don't touch it. 1133 00:54:41,225 --> 00:54:42,708 Fucking crime scene. 1134 00:54:42,742 --> 00:54:44,639 I'll call and have it towed into the station. 1135 00:54:44,673 --> 00:54:46,811 Alright. Be safe. 1136 00:54:46,846 --> 00:54:49,294 I need your fucking help. 1137 00:54:49,328 --> 00:54:53,673 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you fucking job. 1138 00:54:53,708 --> 00:54:57,673 Shut the fuck up! 1139 00:54:58,949 --> 00:55:03,190 You can't send him there alone. 1140 00:55:03,225 --> 00:55:05,949 I don't think you're in any position to tell me what to do. 1141 00:55:05,984 --> 00:55:07,580 You know, you're in a world of hurt, lady. 1142 00:55:07,604 --> 00:55:09,328 - No fucking... - You're in a world 1143 00:55:09,363 --> 00:55:10,846 - of fucking shit. - No fucking idea! 1144 00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,615 We caught you covered in blood and a missing cop... 1145 00:55:12,639 --> 00:55:15,673 Unit 17, Smith, you there? 1146 00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:18,328 Yeah. This is unit 17. This is Smith. Go ahead. 1147 00:55:18,363 --> 00:55:21,811 This is Lenny. We just got here. 1148 00:55:21,846 --> 00:55:24,673 It's a massacre, and we haven't even been inside yet. 1149 00:55:24,708 --> 00:55:26,718 Alright, copy that. Look, don't make a move, alright? 1150 00:55:26,742 --> 00:55:30,328 Just hang back. Weston's on his way down there. 1151 00:55:30,363 --> 00:55:31,880 Any word from renn county? 1152 00:55:31,915 --> 00:55:35,432 Just us right now, sir. 1153 00:55:35,466 --> 00:55:39,432 Any sign of Davies? 1154 00:55:39,466 --> 00:55:41,501 He's dead, sir. 1155 00:55:41,535 --> 00:55:46,294 Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker! 1156 00:55:48,673 --> 00:55:51,397 I just saw you at Reggie's three goddamn hours ago. 1157 00:55:51,432 --> 00:55:52,673 I don't understand. 1158 00:55:52,708 --> 00:55:54,604 What is there to fucking understand? 1159 00:55:54,639 --> 00:55:57,190 What I don't understand is the lax fucking attitude 1160 00:55:57,225 --> 00:55:58,604 when people are fucking dead. 1161 00:55:58,639 --> 00:56:00,466 Look, Tori, we know you didn't murder anyone, 1162 00:56:00,501 --> 00:56:03,535 but we're having a hard time believing what you're saying. 1163 00:56:03,570 --> 00:56:05,949 I'm having a hard time fucking believing it. Okay? 1164 00:56:05,984 --> 00:56:08,880 But I saw it. I saw it with my own goddamn eyes. 1165 00:56:08,915 --> 00:56:10,846 And my fucking eyes don't lie. Okay, Monroe? 1166 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,915 Listen, I can smell the weed and whiskey on you 1167 00:56:12,949 --> 00:56:14,777 - from a mile away. - Yeah. So fucking what? 1168 00:56:14,811 --> 00:56:17,259 I smoked some weed. I had some fucking whiskey. 1169 00:56:17,294 --> 00:56:18,580 But that does not make you hallucinate. 1170 00:56:18,604 --> 00:56:20,259 I promise you. I promise you. 1171 00:56:20,294 --> 00:56:22,535 After what I saw, I'm sober. I'm sober as a fucking... 1172 00:56:22,570 --> 00:56:24,787 Oh, that's good you're sober. Well, I hate to break it to you, 1173 00:56:24,811 --> 00:56:26,466 Ms. Tooms, but it is still illegal. 1174 00:56:26,501 --> 00:56:29,294 Can you shut the fuck up? Shut the fuck up! 1175 00:56:29,328 --> 00:56:31,604 My sister is dead! 1176 00:56:31,639 --> 00:56:33,259 Okay? My fucking friends are dead. 1177 00:56:33,294 --> 00:56:34,615 Not that you give a fuck about him. 1178 00:56:34,639 --> 00:56:35,891 But what are you going to do about it? 1179 00:56:35,915 --> 00:56:37,432 - What do you... - Hey! Hey! 1180 00:56:37,466 --> 00:56:39,432 The best goddamn officer in this precinct is dead. 1181 00:56:39,466 --> 00:56:40,891 Now, if you want to be the one to tell his widow. 1182 00:56:40,915 --> 00:56:42,753 Oh, fuck. Debbie. Someone's got to tell Debbie. 1183 00:56:42,777 --> 00:56:44,604 Hey, hey, hey, Bobby. 1184 00:56:44,639 --> 00:56:46,166 We're all getting a little emotional here. 1185 00:56:46,190 --> 00:56:48,811 Just cut it. Both of yous. You, sit down. 1186 00:56:50,639 --> 00:56:53,673 Get this fucking off your fucking desk. 1187 00:56:58,604 --> 00:57:00,777 Have you heard from the boys down at the scene yet? 1188 00:57:00,811 --> 00:57:02,397 Not since renn county showed up. 1189 00:57:02,432 --> 00:57:04,708 They're still down there counting bodies. 1190 00:57:04,742 --> 00:57:07,604 Nothing about a killer Santa claus either. 1191 00:57:07,639 --> 00:57:09,397 Well, why don't you give him a call? 1192 00:57:09,432 --> 00:57:12,639 It's been a little while now. See if they need any help. 1193 00:57:12,673 --> 00:57:14,190 I think they got it under control. 1194 00:57:14,225 --> 00:57:15,846 Double check. 1195 00:57:22,259 --> 00:57:24,466 Fuck! 1196 00:57:24,501 --> 00:57:27,673 You need to keep that asshole away from me, Monroe. 1197 00:57:27,708 --> 00:57:30,397 He's worked with Davies for over 15 years now. 1198 00:57:30,432 --> 00:57:32,673 We're tight staff. Look around. 1199 00:57:32,708 --> 00:57:35,190 It's been a rough night for all of us. 1200 00:57:35,225 --> 00:57:36,673 Bear with us. 1201 00:57:36,708 --> 00:57:38,846 We'll do the same. 1202 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:40,915 Just breathe. 1203 00:57:48,432 --> 00:57:52,328 Okay, I'm going to brew a fresh pot of coffee. 1204 00:57:52,363 --> 00:57:53,742 There's a bathroom down the hall 1205 00:57:53,777 --> 00:57:56,122 if you want to clean yourself up some. 1206 00:58:57,708 --> 00:58:59,639 Smith: There is no fucking back up, man. 1207 00:58:59,673 --> 00:59:02,156 Just hold on a second. Just hold on a second. 1208 00:59:02,190 --> 00:59:03,777 We got to think this out. 1209 00:59:03,811 --> 00:59:05,190 Oh, shit. 1210 00:59:05,225 --> 00:59:06,432 Have tried the guys from renn? 1211 00:59:06,466 --> 00:59:10,639 Yep, renn, paramedics, Weston. 1212 00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:11,777 Nothing. 1213 00:59:11,811 --> 00:59:13,535 Chp? Anything? 1214 00:59:13,570 --> 00:59:15,156 - Nope. - Hey. Hey. Hey. 1215 00:59:15,190 --> 00:59:16,753 - What's going on? - You coming with me or not? 1216 00:59:16,777 --> 00:59:19,259 Something happen? You guys can't go back to my house. 1217 00:59:19,294 --> 00:59:20,915 - I told you. - We're police, Tori. 1218 00:59:20,949 --> 00:59:22,708 - That's what we do. - Well, no. 1219 00:59:22,742 --> 00:59:24,442 You need to call the fucking national guard or something. 1220 00:59:24,466 --> 00:59:26,708 He wiped everybody out. He's going to wipe you out! 1221 00:59:26,742 --> 00:59:28,684 Hey, you know, Monroe, maybe you should stay here. 1222 00:59:28,708 --> 00:59:30,328 You can, baby sit the little girl. 1223 00:59:30,363 --> 00:59:31,649 Okay, you know what? If you don't want to fucking 1224 00:59:31,673 --> 00:59:33,259 listen to me, you go out there and die. 1225 00:59:33,294 --> 00:59:34,718 Because, quite frankly, I don't fucking care. 1226 00:59:34,742 --> 00:59:37,397 Tori, we're going to go, we're gonna lock the door. 1227 00:59:37,432 --> 00:59:39,639 - No, no. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 1228 00:59:39,673 --> 00:59:41,501 What is that? 1229 00:59:41,535 --> 00:59:43,466 Yeah. What the fuck is that? 1230 00:59:46,846 --> 00:59:48,466 That an ambulance? 1231 00:59:48,501 --> 00:59:51,328 Oh, fuck. It's him. 1232 00:59:51,363 --> 00:59:52,846 Oh, Santa claus? 1233 00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:54,477 - Yeah, it's fuckin' Santa claus. - Fuckin' Santa claus! 1234 00:59:54,501 --> 00:59:57,190 It's the motherfucker that killed everybody. 1235 00:59:57,225 --> 00:59:58,777 Okay, okay, uh... 1236 00:59:58,811 --> 01:00:00,570 - Oh, fuck. - He's not stopping. 1237 01:00:00,604 --> 01:00:02,432 Fuck! 1238 01:00:13,949 --> 01:00:17,156 Fuck! Ah! 1239 01:00:17,190 --> 01:00:19,225 Is everyone all right? 1240 01:00:19,259 --> 01:00:21,156 Yeah, I think I'm fine. 1241 01:00:21,190 --> 01:00:24,915 - Tori? - Uh, yeah. 1242 01:00:28,190 --> 01:00:32,259 Jesus Christ. What the fuck was that? 1243 01:00:32,294 --> 01:00:35,949 Hey, Tori, take these, go to the holding room, 1244 01:00:35,984 --> 01:00:37,466 lock yourself in. 1245 01:00:37,501 --> 01:00:39,501 No, no, no! There's fucking people dead. 1246 01:00:39,535 --> 01:00:41,787 You need to give me a gun. You need to give me a fucking gun. 1247 01:00:41,811 --> 01:00:43,615 - Where the driver? - You're 38. Give her your 38. 1248 01:00:43,639 --> 01:00:45,294 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1249 01:00:45,328 --> 01:00:47,368 - Give me your fucking gun. - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1250 01:00:47,397 --> 01:00:48,925 Hey, do you even know how to use that thing? 1251 01:00:48,949 --> 01:00:50,753 Yeah. You aim is and pull the fucking trigger. 1252 01:00:50,777 --> 01:00:52,294 Yeah? 1253 01:00:52,328 --> 01:00:53,915 Let's go. 1254 01:01:07,225 --> 01:01:08,708 Cover me. 1255 01:01:18,259 --> 01:01:19,466 Okay. I'm clear. 1256 01:01:19,501 --> 01:01:21,190 Tori, get in there! 1257 01:01:21,225 --> 01:01:23,501 Stay away from the fucking car! He's in there! 1258 01:01:23,535 --> 01:01:25,535 Do you see anything? 1259 01:01:30,604 --> 01:01:33,639 Something's not right. Something's not right! 1260 01:01:33,673 --> 01:01:35,915 Yeah, he's not fucking human. That's what's not right. 1261 01:01:35,949 --> 01:01:37,535 Do you see anything? 1262 01:01:39,432 --> 01:01:42,432 Monroe! Monroe! 1263 01:01:44,501 --> 01:01:46,259 Oh, fuck! 1264 01:01:47,225 --> 01:01:49,328 Where are you, motherfucker?! 1265 01:01:49,363 --> 01:01:51,190 Show yourself! 1266 01:01:51,225 --> 01:01:53,501 Get out of here now! 1267 01:01:53,535 --> 01:01:57,742 Come on, motherfucker! Let me see your face. 1268 01:01:57,777 --> 01:01:59,190 Hey! 1269 01:02:02,294 --> 01:02:03,811 Come on, fuck you! 1270 01:02:05,777 --> 01:02:07,915 Oh, no, wait! 1271 01:02:07,949 --> 01:02:09,466 No! No! 1272 01:02:09,501 --> 01:02:10,466 Aah! 1273 01:02:10,501 --> 01:02:13,604 Oh, fuck! 1274 01:02:38,501 --> 01:02:40,880 Oh, god. Okay. 1275 01:03:04,570 --> 01:03:07,432 Hello? Oh, fuck! 1276 01:03:07,466 --> 01:03:08,811 Fuck. 1277 01:03:25,432 --> 01:03:29,122 Okay, okay, okay. 1278 01:03:29,708 --> 01:03:30,742 Uh... 1279 01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:33,156 Hello? 1280 01:03:33,535 --> 01:03:34,811 Hello? 1281 01:03:34,846 --> 01:03:36,880 Fuck! 1282 01:03:55,328 --> 01:03:57,673 Hello? Hello, is anyone there? 1283 01:03:57,708 --> 01:03:59,201 Dispatch, I'm at the fuckin' police station. 1284 01:03:59,225 --> 01:04:00,777 I need your help. 1285 01:04:00,811 --> 01:04:02,742 Hello? Someone fuckin' answer me, please. 1286 01:04:02,777 --> 01:04:04,535 Fuck! 1287 01:07:06,190 --> 01:07:08,328 Fuck you! 1288 01:07:09,984 --> 01:07:13,501 No! No! No! 1289 01:07:13,535 --> 01:07:17,225 No! No! 1290 01:07:17,259 --> 01:07:20,363 No, no! No! 1291 01:07:42,259 --> 01:07:44,673 Fucking cocksucker! 1292 01:08:07,639 --> 01:08:09,915 Hello? Hello? Can anybody hear me? 1293 01:08:09,949 --> 01:08:12,673 Everybody's fucking dead! Please, someone, please! 1294 01:08:16,846 --> 01:08:18,846 Fuck! Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 1295 01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,466 Yes, come on! Come on! 1296 01:08:25,294 --> 01:08:27,190 Yes! Yes! 1297 01:08:27,225 --> 01:08:28,708 Ah! 1298 01:08:52,466 --> 01:08:54,777 Oh, fuck! 1299 01:08:54,811 --> 01:08:56,225 Fuck! 1300 01:08:57,294 --> 01:08:58,915 Fuck you! No! 1301 01:09:14,397 --> 01:09:15,708 Fuck you! 1302 01:09:19,639 --> 01:09:21,880 No! No! 1303 01:09:21,915 --> 01:09:23,673 No! 1304 01:09:25,259 --> 01:09:27,294 What the fuck?! Fuck! 1305 01:09:29,466 --> 01:09:31,259 Fuck you! 1306 01:12:28,225 --> 01:12:29,501 Fuck! 1307 01:12:44,535 --> 01:12:45,777 Fuck! 1308 01:12:46,742 --> 01:12:48,915 Fuck! 1309 01:15:01,811 --> 01:15:03,880 What the fuck?! 1310 01:17:53,880 --> 01:17:55,570 Okay. 1311 01:18:06,225 --> 01:18:08,777 No, no, no, no! 1312 01:18:08,811 --> 01:18:10,363 No! 1313 01:18:42,570 --> 01:18:44,880 Oh, fuck. 1314 01:18:48,328 --> 01:18:49,915 Fuck! 1315 01:18:49,949 --> 01:18:53,190 Come on. Come on. 1316 01:18:55,949 --> 01:18:58,363 Come on! No, no, no! 1317 01:18:58,397 --> 01:19:00,328 Come on! 1318 01:19:00,363 --> 01:19:02,294 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, come on! 1319 01:19:02,328 --> 01:19:07,363 Come on! Fuck you! 1320 01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:13,294 Oh, fuck! 1321 01:19:58,225 --> 01:19:59,742 Oh, fuck! 1322 01:21:03,259 --> 01:21:05,639 No! 1323 01:21:08,949 --> 01:21:11,604 Fuck! No! 1324 01:21:40,328 --> 01:21:42,673 No! No! 1325 01:21:43,535 --> 01:21:46,639 No! No! No! 1326 01:21:46,673 --> 01:21:48,708 Fuck! Fuck! 1327 01:21:51,501 --> 01:21:53,397 Ah! Fuck!